You know you are drinking to much coffee when.......

* You answer the door before people knock.
* Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
* You ski uphill.
* You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
* You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
* You lick your coffeepot clean.
* You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you
   don't even work there.
* Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
* You chew on other people's fingernails.
* You can type sixty words per minute .. with your feet.
* You can jump-start your car without cables.
* All your kids are named "Joe".
* You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
* Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
* You don't sweat, you percolate.
* You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
* You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
* You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's
   not plugged in.
* You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
* People get dizzy just watching you.
* You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
* The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
* Instant coffee takes too long.
* When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last
   drop."
* Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
* You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
* You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
* You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
* You short out motion detectors.
* You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
* Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
* You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
* You don't tan, you roast.
* You can't even remember your second cup.
* You help your dog chase its tail.

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