Tale of a Dead Donkey
A pastor awoke one morning to find a dead donkey in his front yard. He had
no idea how it got there, but he knew he had to get rid of it. So, he
called the sanitation department, the health department, and several other
agencies, but no one seemed able to help him. In desperation, the good
reverend called the mayor and asked what should be done. The mayor must have
been having a bad day. "Why bother me?" he asked. "You're a preacher. It's
your job to bury the dead." The pastor lost his cool. "Yes," he snapped,
"But I thought I should at least notify the next-of-kin."
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Good News--Bad News For a Pastor
Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river.
Bad News: Two of them didn't come up!
Good News: The Women's Ministry voted to send you a get-well card.
Bad News: The vote passed by 31-30.
Good News: The Elder Board accepted your job description the way you wrote
it.
Bad News: They were so inspired by it, they also formed a search committee
to find somebody capable of filling the position.
Good News: You finally found a choir director who approaches things exactly
the same way you do.
Bad News: The choir mutinied.
Good News: Mrs. Jones is wild about your sermons.
Bad News: Mrs. Jones is also wild about the "Gong Show," and "Texas Chain
Saw Massacre."
Good News: Your women's softball team finally won a game.
Bad News: They beat your men's softball team.
Good News: The trustees finally voted to add more church parking.
Bad News: They are going to blacktop the front lawn of your parsonage.
Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.
Bad News: You were on vacation.
Good News: Your deacons want to send you to the Holy Land.
Bad News: They are stalling until the next war.
Good News: Your biggest critic just left your church.
Bad News: He has been appointed the head of your denomination's convention.
Good News: The entire youth group will be coming to the meeting at your
house tonight.
Bad News: The meeting's at midnight and they're bringing toilet
paper and shaving cream.
And for the Rangers:
Good News: Thanks to your new "Bring a Friend to Rangers" promotion,
attendance has doubled for tonight's meeting.
Bad News: Half your Commanders are at Training Camp.
Good News: Several of our international Rangernet buddies will be joining us
at the next National Camporama.
Bad News: Adrian's in charge of the food. Vegemite for all!
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