To my fellow brethren in Christ, Keep us in prayer. Kathie and I are seeking God in regards to where we need to be. We are looking for more of God. One of things I am struggle with is FCF and Royal Rangers. My work room has a lot of memories of FCF. God has used FCF to get me where I am now. I know God has used me in the NY District to impact many lives. As of right now it is a closed door. Many of a times I feel lonely and isolated because of this illness. I miss a lot of things. But during those quiet personel times. God has drawn me close to Him. He is teaching me how to play the guitar. Which I use to praise Him. He is showing me His love and the depth of His Word. The funny thing is I think about what I mention to my oldest son. The one who is called to be a missionary. I told him always focus your eyes on God and not the calling. God is God and He has the right to change the path. So that is where I am at now. Some of the advice I am getting is get a big tent and do the re-enactment route. Kathie and I agree that is not the route I want to take. I did that for the first 20 years of our marriage. Where I worked long hours either at the work place or in the NY Air National Guard. Gone for days at a time trying to keep production running. Or repairing a gun system for a fighter plane. Where did it get me? Yes, God used it to provide. But it rob me of personal time with God and family. I am satisfied with God being the boss, owner, salesman, and master tailor of Eagle Feather's 18th Century Clothing Shoppe. Trusting in Him to give me the know how and providing the work. It is awesome to where He has brought me. I had no idea what would happen when someone totally surrenders to God. I have sewn for museums to all parts of the country to many FCF members. And I did not call or write, travel. God brought the business in. What an awesome God! I am living example that God does provide in the wilderness. So now I need to rest in Him. To seek what is best for Kathie and I. If Royal Rangers is closed. Then it is closed. Not to wonder why, God brought me through to the level of Wilderness. But to praise Him in the mist of the storm. To see His hand in my life in how He provided in the wilderness. Not to fear but to praise Him. When I go through those trails. In closing, I want to share something that a friend shared with me last week. John and I taught Sunday School together. It was through John's prayers that got me into Royal Rangers. Now John and I share the same hurts. He is also suffering from the same illness. He was listening to me share what God is doing in my life. I told Him that the women in the mcs support group are amazed that I have a web site and make clothing. I keep telling them it is God. They still do not get it. John told me that he tried sewing. John has an engineering degree. He has worked on many government sub projects. He tried sewing and failed. And when he did it. He got sick and frustrated. He told me that God has given me a gift. And through this, He is using me to reach others for God. It is by His grace that i can sew and work in the basement. Many Christians have wonder why I go through many trails. I remember sharing a prayer with a young believer at work back in the late 70's. I was decipling Jim whom I led to the Lord. He told me what many of my fellow skilled tradesmen were saying about me. I told him not to tell me anymore. For all it is doing is bring me down. At that time, I made a statement to God and Jim. I said," If that(trails or sufferings) keeps me saved. Well, praise God. Let it be." After that, the trails of life became more intents to the point where i was hated as a Christian. But that did not stop me from proclaiming Christ in the work place or anywhere else. I am willing to die for Christ, just to proclaim His name. God has bless me with talent and has provide in the wilderness. Since I have been out of work. I have heard and read about the lay offs and accidents that has been going on where I worked. I believe it is God's hand that i am where i am now. I pray that the many people i witness to at Carrier. Will recall the Word of God. That was witness in word and in deed. God's word never comes back void. God is awesome! And God is God. I pray that this will encourage you. If anyone is going through a trail. Do not give up. God wants to refine you. Never curse the fire. May God richly bless yo rick/eagle feather (FCF/Wilderness Oct. 97) bond servant of the Most High God Isaiah 40:31 serving Christ as my Lord and master. He is the true owner of Eagle Feather's 18th Century Clothing Shoppe web site http://www.datasync.com/~jwmort/baldwin/welcome.htmlu. ___________________________________________________________________ Get the Internet just the way you want it. 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