Jonathan & Dawnya Conti
Rocky Mount, NC
Royal Rangers.....reaching, teaching, and keeping boys for Christ. :-)
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> > Buying gifts for Men
> >
> > Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women.
> > Follow these rules and you should have no problems.
> >
> > Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter
> > if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to
> > complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills.
No
> > one knows why.
> >
> > Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with
> > the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words.
> > "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. Bye-the-way, are you
> > through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
> >
> > Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his
> > car. A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of deicer or something to
> > hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their
> > cars. No one
> > knows why.
> >
> > Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men
> > bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes,
> > he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
> >
> > Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they
> > have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen
> > TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he
> > flips, and flips, and flips.
> >
> > Rule #6: Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it
> > will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.
> >
> > Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave
> > or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.
> >
> > Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills.
> > Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere.
> > "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the
> > idea. No one knows why.
> >
> > Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required"
> > on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have
> > parts left over.
> >
> > Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works,
> > Parr Lumber, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab
> > Tire. (NAPA Auto Parts and Sear's Clearance Centers are also
> > excellent men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it
> > is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this
> > a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks.")
> >
> > Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they
> > will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane
> > tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who
> > wants a hamburger?"
> >
> > Rule #12: Tickets to a Red Wing/Lions/Pistons/Tigers game are a smart
> > gift. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of
> > 19th Century Quilts." Everyone knows why.
> >
> > Rule #13: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a
> > chainsaw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what
> > happens when he gets a label maker.
> >
> > Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum
> > extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an
> > extension ladder. No one knows why.
> >
> > Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy
> > origins, or at least the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred
> > feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.
> >
> >
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