Hey Gang, This one is for our Mississippi and Louisiana brother. A Louisiana Christmas, from Boudreaux an' Marie Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, Tanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it las' night with dirty rice. I doan tink de Pear tree will grow wid all da heat in de summa. Marie Day 2: Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sen' two turtle dove, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mix dem wit' andouille an made some gumbo out of dem. Marie Day 3: Dear Boudreaux, Why couldn' you a sent me Crawfish? I'm tired of eating dem darn birds. I gave two of dose prissy French chicken to Marie Trahan over at Grans Bayou an fed de tird one to my dog Phideaux. Marie Day 4 Dear Boudreaux, Mon Dieux! I tol you no more xxxxx birds. Deez four, what you call dem "calling birds?" were so noisy you could hear dem all de way to Napoleonville. I used dere necks for my crab traps an fed de rest of dem to de gators. Marie Day 5 Dear Boudreaux, You finally sen' somethin useful. I like dem golden rings, me. I hocked dem at da pawn shop in Thibodeaux and got enuf money to fix da shaf' on my shrimp boat an buy a round for da boys at de Raisin' Cane Lounge. Merci Beaucoup! Marie Day 6: Dear Boudreaux, Couchon! Back to da birds, you Cajun turkey! Poor egg suckin' Phideaux is scared to death at dem six geese. He try to eat dem's eggs and dey peck de heck out ah his snout. Dey good at eating cockroaches, though. I may stuff one of dem wit oyrster dressing on Christmas day. Marie Day 7: Dear Boudreaux, I'm gonna wring you fool neck nex' time I see you! Thibodeaux, da mailman, is ready to kill ya. The merde from all dem birds is stinkin' up his mailboat. He afraid someone will slip on dat stuff and sue him good. I let those seven swans loose to swim on de bayou and some duck hunters from de Mississippi blast' dem out of de water. Talk to you tomorrow. Marie Day 8: Dear Boudreaux, poor ole Thibodeaux, he had to make tree trips on his mailboat to deliver dem 8 maids a milkin and der cows. One of dem cows got spooked by da alligators and almost tip' over da boat. I doan like dem shifless maids, me no. I tol' dem to get to work guttin' fish and sweepin de shack but dey say it wasn't in dair contract. Dey probably think dey too good ta skin da nutrias I caught las' night. Marie Day 9: Dear Boudreaux, What you trying to do, huh? Thibodeaux had to borrow de Lutcher ferry to carry dem jumpin twits you call Lords-a-Leaping across the bayou. As soon as dey gots here dey wanted a tea break with crumpets. I doan know what dat means but I says, "Well La Di Da! You get Chicory coffee or nuttin!" Mon Dieu, Emile! What I'm gonna feed all dese bozos? Dey too snooty for fried nutria, and de cows done eat my turnip greens. Marie Day 10: Dear Boudreaux, You got to be outs you mind! If de mailman don't kill you, I will fo sure. Today he deliver 10 half nikid floozies from deBourbon Street. Dey said dey be "Ladies Dancin" but dey doan act like ladies in front of dose Limey twits. Dey almos lef' after one of dem got bit by a water moccasin over by da out-house. I had to butcher two cows to feed toute le monde an had to get toilet paper; the Sears catalog wasn't good enuf fer dose hoity toity Lords' royal behin'. Marie Day 11: Dear Boudreaux, where y'at? Cheerio an pip pip. Your 'leven pipers piping arrive today from de House of Blues, secon' lining as dey get off de boat. We fixed stuff goose an' beef jambalaya and we having a fais-do-do. Da new mailman he having a good time, yeah, dancing with de floozies. Den Thibodeaux, he jump off de Sunshine Bridge yesterday, screaming you name. If you get a mysterious, tickin' package in de mail, doan open it! Marie Day 12: Dear Boudreaux, I sorry to tell ya but I not your true love no more, no. After da fais-do-do, I spen' de night with Jacque, de head piper. We decide to open a restaurant and gentleman club on de bayou. De floozies- pardon me, Ladies-dancin', can make $20 for a table dance, an' de Lords can be waiters an' valet park de boat. Since de maids doan have no more cows ta milk, I trained dem ta set my crab traps, watch my trotlines, an run ma shrimping business. We will probably gross a million nex' year. Marie There's a storm coming, our Storm. PROCLAIMING GOD'S LOVE TO A DYING WORLD Say to the captives, 'come out,' and those in darkness, 'Be free!' Isaiah 49:9 I looked to the heavens to where God dwells I looked into my life to see he lives there as well. Love in Jesus Adrian Bonham aka Morning Light Outpost 49 Hawkesbury Royal Rangers Windsor, N.S.W. Australia F.C.F. 94 http://www.summit.net.au/~founder1/ _______ To unsubscribe, send "unsubscribe rangernet" to [EMAIL PROTECTED] "Eat the hay & spit out the sticks! - A#1's mule" RTKB&G4JC! http://rangernet.org Autoresponder: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
