Dear Rangers,
I have this great web site and here is just one of the stories you'll find there;
TALES OF THE AFTERLIFE: HARRY
"Good morning!" said the friendly stranger, holding the door open for Harry.
"Go to Hell!" Harry replied. Harry didn't trust people, especially friendly
strangers. He had dropped by K-Mart to pick up a prescription and he was in
no mood to exchange pleasantries. Harry was upset that, at the tender age
of 23, he already had an ulcer. Although Harry caused his own ulcer with his
own intolerance, he blamed everyone else - his family, even total strangers.
"Good morning!" said the K-Mart greeter, a pleasant woman in her 60's.
"Would you like a shopping cart?" "Go to Hell!" barked Harry, heading for the
prescription counter. Harry was not only mean and intolerant to people, he
was cruel to any living creature he encountered. As a teenager he would
spend hours shooting song birds out of the trees with his BB gun. As a child
he delighted in catching small animals and burying them alive. He would do
his evil deed and then laugh as he'd imagine the anquish being experienced
by the small creature as its oxygen ran out. Harry paid for his ulcer
medication and headed back out to the parking lot. His stomach was hurting
- perhaps some food might help. Harry pulled into a nearby McDonald's and
moved into the drive-through lane. A Sausage McMuffin and Coke might be
just the thing to relieve the discomfort in his stomach. That is, if the old
woman ahead of him would make up her mind. She was looking at the menu
board, trying to decide whether she wanted a strawberry danish or a
Breakfast Burrito. Harry blew his horn and shouted out the window. "Make up
your mind or get the hell outa my way, you old witch!" Upset, the old woman
moved ahead and placed her order. She glanced nervously in her rear-view
mirror as Harry glared at her. He ordered his sausage McMuffin and coke
and headed out onto the highway. Unfortunately for Harry, he didn't look to
his left. An 18-wheeler going 60 MPH hit him broadside. Harry didn't see the
tunnel and white light so commonly described in near-death experiences. He
just heard the crash and, for an instant, felt intense pain. The next thing he
knew, he was standing about twenty feet from what was left of his car. He
felt just fine. "Damn!" Harry thought, "Good thing I've got insurance!" Harry
watched as people ran out onto the highway. Harry heard the approaching
sirens. "I suppose I'm going to be cited for this. It's not my fault that damn
truck was going too fast." Harry's concern about insurance and traffic
citations turned to sheer horror when he saw his own broken body being
pulled out of the wreckage of his car. He walked a little closer. Sure enough,
the body he was looking at was his own. Police were now on the scene
taking statements from horrified witnesses. Paramedics loaded his dead
body into the back of an ambulance. "So this is what it's like to be dead!"
Harry thought to himself. "Well, so far so good." Now, Harry didn't relish the
idea of being dead. But the fact that he was conscious, in no pain, and able
to walk about freely relieved him greatly. "Hey Buddy!" Harry shouted to a
nearby police officer. The man didn't hear him. Harry shrugged. "Well, at
least I won't be hassled by the cops!" he chuckled to himself. "If this is what
it's like to be dead, how bad can it be?"
Harry sat down on the curb to decide what his next move would be. He'd
seen the movie Beetlejuice on HBO a few days ago and was amused at how
his own after-life experience seemed to parallel that of Alec Baldwin and
Gina Davis. "I wonder where that little Beetlejuice character is," Harry
thought. "Hey, what do you know! My stomach doesn't hurt!" He leaned back
and contemplated how he would spend eternity in this painless, carefree
existance.
"I gotta try this!" Harry thought as he got to his feet. He walked out into the
middle of the highway straight in the path of an oncoming Greyhound bus.
Sure enough, the bus passed right through him. For a brief instant, his head
and shoulders protruded from the floor of the bus, right in the center of the
aisle. He watched the passengers pass him by. "Oh man! That was
amazing!" Harry laughed to himself. He jumped out in front of a car. Same
thing the car passed right through him. "This could be fun!" He jumped in
front of about a dozen more cars, enjoying the thrill of watching them rush
right at him - and then through him. "Oh great! Here comes a yellow cab!" he
thought. He jumped out in front of it. The cab driver slammed on the brakes
and stopped. "What the?" Harry yelled. "Get in!" the cab driver ordered. "You
can see me?" "Of course I can see you. Get in!" the driver ordered. The cab
driver looked like Ray Walston, the star of "My Favorite Martian" of the 60's
and, in the 90's, the judge on "Picket Fences." Harry walked around to the
passenger side of the cab and climbed into the front seat, next to the driver.
"Where are we going?" asked Harry. "Hell. Where do you think?" replied the
driver. The cab driver put his foot on the gas and continued down the road.
"We're going to Hell in a cab? " Harry laughed. The driver didn't answer. He
just glanced at Harry for an instant and then jammed the gas peddle to the
floor. "Whoa!" Harry shouted, holding on for dear life . . or . . after-life.
"Watch out. The speed limit is 45." The driver ignored Harry and continued
speeding up. The scenery rushed by so fast it turned into a blur. "Hey! Slow
down!" Harry screamed. He figured they must be going at least 120 MPH. In
reality, they were going 180 MPH and speeding up every second. "You
haven't seen anything yet!" said the driver, shoving his foot down on the gas
pedal. They were now going so fast that the blur outside the windows turned
into a blur. Harry was shoved back so far into his seat he couldn't move.
They were moving so fast that the colors outside the windows were being
warped into colors Harry had never seen before. "What's this thing run on,
anti-matter?" Harry gasped. "Oh great!" said the driver. "Another Trekkie."
"I hate Trekkies!" shouted Harry. "So do I!" replied the driver. Finally, after
what seemed an eternity, the cab began to slow down. They were on an
isolated two-lane highway in the middle of nowhere. "Where the Hell are
we?" asked Harry. The driver just looked at him and smiled. Harry couldn't
believe his eyes, for a few miles ahead was the largest amusement park
Harry had ever seen. In the middle of nowhere! It was the size of Delaware.
"You like amusement parks, don't you?" asked the driver. "Oh yeah!"
shouted Harry with glee. "Then you'll love this one!" said the driver. "This is
Disney World, Kings Island, Cedar Point and every amusement park you've
ever dreamed of, all rolled into one." The cab pulled up to the main entrance.
Sure enough, as Harry looked through the main gate he could see Sleeping
Beauty's Castle, Pirates of the Caribbean and all the other attractions he'd
seen at Disney World plus rides he seen at Six Flags, Cedar Point and other
parks. "Damn! This is magnificent!" Harry shouted. "You're right! This is
Disney World, Busch Gardens and more, all rolled into one! But where are all
the people?" "There aren't any, Harry!" said the driver. There's not one other
person within a million miles of this place. Just you!" "You mean I've got this
great amusement park all to myself?" Harry shouted. "It's all yours, Harry.
The rides are all operating. The restaurants and snack bars are stocked with
fresh food and drinks. All for you!" "Well I got news for you!" said Harry.
"Somebody screwed up. This isn't hell, this is heaven!" Harry jumped out of
the cab. "Aren't you coming in?" he asked the driver. "Nope! You're all alone,
Harry. I've got more passengers to pick up!" And with that, the cab sped off
down the two-lane highway and disappeared.
Harry looked up at the main entrance in front of him. "Welcome to Hell" the
huge sign over the entrance read. Harry walked in. He couldn't believe what
he was looking at. The place was every bit as beautiful and clean as Disney
World. Fresh flowers were everywhere in beautifully manicured gardens.
Every attraction Harry had ever seen at the world's greatest amusement
parks all blended into one magnificent park. Sure enough, all the rides were
in perfect working order, just waiting for him. And, best of all, there weren't
any people! Harry had the whole park to himself, forever!
"Where do I start?" Harry thought to himself. He decided to get something to
eat. After all, he hadn't had a chance to eat his Sausage McMuffin before
that truck nailed him. He walked over to a nearby sidewalk cafe. Since there
was no one to wait on him, he walked behind the counter and helped himself.
He made himself a couple of hot dogs, covered them with hot chili and
onions and poured himself a large Pepsi.Harry took his food to a nearby
umbrella table and sat down to eat. The hot dogs were delicious the best
he'd ever eaten. Harry was overjoyed at his good fortune an endless supply of
delicious food and great entertainment. The sun was shining brightly and the
temperature was a perfect 75 degrees. And best of all, no people! Harry
finished his hot dogs and stuffed the paper plate and empty paper cup in a
nearby trash container. "No use littering my own personal amusement park,"
he thought to himself. Harry looked around. What would it be first? Pirates of
the Caribbean? Space Mountain? Demon Drop?"Would you look at that!"
Harry said to himself. Off in the distance he saw the biggest water slide he'd
ever seen in his life. It was one of the enclosed, tubular slides. The tube,
instead of being the familiar fiberglass, was made of a crystal clear material,
like glass. And it was huge! And high! It was so high you had to take an
elevator to get to the top. And it looked like it went for ten miles or more.
What a ride! Harry ran as fast as he could to get to this sensational, out of
this world water slide. He jumped on the elevator and pushed the red button
that would take him to the top. Up he went. "This thing must be twenty
stories high!" Harry shouted. The view was breathtaking. For the first time,
Harry could see the entire amusement park and beyond. The park was the
size of Delaware, at least. And beyond? Nothing. Just empty land from
horizon to horizon. The elevator stopped. Harry stepped out. "Thank you
God! Thank you for sending me to Hell!" he shouted. He looked into the
water slide. How inviting! Fresh, clear, warm water was gushing out of several
outlets at the entrance, cascading down the inside of the tubular slide.
Already dressed in shorts, Harry ripped off his shirt, shoes and socks and
jumped in, ready for the ride of his life. Down he went, lying on his back, feet
first, with his arms at his sides. The water was warm and wonderful. "Man,
this thing is slick!" Harry laughed. "I'm really picking up speed! Yahoo!" he
shouted. Harry was having the time of his life. This was totally unlike any
water slide he had ever imagined. Faster and faster he went. "Oh man!"
Harry thought, "I'm really gonna fly out the end of this thing fast! I'm gonna
skip across the water like a frisbee" he laughed. He couldn't wait. "Heaven!
I'm in heaven!" Harry began singing to himself. His joy, however, suddently
turned to stark terror, when he realized the tubular slide was getting
narrower. It was imperceptible at first but, sure enough, the diameter of the
slide was getting smaller as Harry picked up speed. Horror doesn't begin to
do justice to the feeling Harry experienced when he recognized the
predicament he was in. He tried to stop. But it was no use. There was
nothing to grab onto. The inside of the tubular slide was perfectly slick and
slippery. Not only that, but Harry could only move his hands a few inches.
He was on his back with his arms at his sides, and the diameter of the slide
wasn't great enough for him to change the position of his body or his arms
or legs. Down he went, picking up speed, faster and faster. By now, Harry
was screaming his lungs out. He knew what was going to happen in just a
few more seconds. If the slide continued to narrow, he would be wedged
inside it for eternity. And then it happened! The slide narrowed to the point
where it stopped Harry's forward plunge. He was at a dead stop. And the
tube was so tight he couldn't move a muscle in his body. He was wedged
tight. So tightly, in fact, that he could barely breathe. There wasn't room for
his diaphragm to expand his chest to take in a full breath of air. He could
only breathe in short, gasping breaths. His arms, of course, were wedged
tightly at his sides. His first thought, of course, was to scream for help. But
he couldn't. You need lungs full of air to scream. Besides, as the cab driver
had pointed out, there wasn't one person within a million miles of Harry's
personal amusement park. To make matters worse, Harry couldn't even
count on death to end his torment. He was already dead. Harry had a long
time to enjoy his personal amusement park. A long time indeed.
Copyright 1996 David R. Van Slyke. All rights reserved.
Used with permission.
BTW the Author, David Van Slyke, says that we Rangers do a fantasic job
for the Lord.
There's a storm coming, our Storm.
PROCLAIMING GOD'S LOVE TO A DYING WORLD
Say to the captives, 'come out,' and those in darkness, 'Be free!'
Isaiah 49:9
I looked to the heavens to where God dwells
I looked into my life to see he lives there as well.
Love in Jesus
Adrian Bonham aka Morning Light, The Larrikin
Outpost 49
Hawkesbury Royal Rangers
Windsor, N.S.W.
Australia
F.C.F. 94
http://www.summit.net.au/~founder1/
_______
To unsubscribe, send "unsubscribe rangernet" to [EMAIL PROTECTED]
"Eat the hay & spit out the sticks! - A#1's mule" RTKB&G4JC!
http://rangernet.org Autoresponder: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
