Rob Helfer buckaroo commander Outpost 6 Springfield Mo Home of the Blue Vatican --------- Begin forwarded message ---------- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: THE DAILY JOKE POST! - Tue Jan 25 02:00:59 2000 Date: 25 Jan 2000 08:49:52 -0000 Message-ID: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> THE DAILY JOKE POST! - Tue Jan 25 02:00:00 2000 http://www.jokepost.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SUMMER'S COMING - START LOSING WEIGHT NOW! Slow metabolism? Always hungry, or have food cravings? Get your FREE SAMPLE of Thermo-Lift today! It will rev up your metabolism, decrease appetite and kill those cravings! I've lost and kept 25 pounds off with this completely safe, all natural herbal supplement. Don't "weight!" Visit http://www.enjoyhealth.com/janet TODAY! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A teenage boy was going to turn 16 in three months. He went to his father and asked him if he could have a car for his birthday. His dad said, "Son, your mother and I have been talking about that and we have a few problems with you getting your own car. First, your hair is entirely too long. You really need to get it cut. Secondly, your grades leave a lot to be desired. You really need to bring them up to at least a C+. Finally, your mother really wants you to spend more time reading the Bible. You take care of those three things, and then we'll talk about a car." Three months later, it's the boy's 16th birthday. He comes to his dad and asks again about the car. His dad says, "Well Son, your mother and I have been talking about that and we're really happy about how well you're doing in school. When last we checked, you had a B average. Also, your mom says that you've been keeping up with your daily Bible readings quite well. However, you haven't bothered to get a haircut since before we started talking about a car." The boy says, "Dad, I've been reading in the Bible and I've learned quite a few things. For one thing, I've learned that both Moses and Jesus had long hair. I think that if long hair was good enough for Moses and Jesus, it ought to be good enough for me." His dad replied, "You know son, you're right about Moses and Jesus both having long hair, but if you remember from your Bible readings, Moses and Jesus both walked everywhere they went!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MEET THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE AT RELATIONSHIPS.COM ! Your FREE relationships.com membership lets you meet hundreds of people in your neighborhood and around the country on the Internet's best dating service. We're the best because our exclusive SureMatch technology brings people together who are right for each other! Relationships.com is safe, secure, fun, and 100% Free. No fees. No charges. No catches. So if you're ready to meet people you really click with, Try us right now! Happy Dating! http://www.afreeplace.com/post/sn.htm OR <a href="http://www.1freeplace.com/post/sn.htm">AOL link</a> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two guys were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The first guy finds his ball in a patch of buttercups. He grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. He hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process he hacks the hell out of the buttercups. Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. She blocks his path to his ball and looks at him and says, "I'm Mother Nature, and I don't like the way you treated my buttercups. From now on, you won't be able to stand the taste of butter. Each time you eat butter you will become physically ill to the point of total nausea." The woman then disappears as quickly as she appeared. Shaken, the guy calls out to his buddy. "Hey, where's your ball?" "It's over here in the pussy willows." The first guy screams back, "DON'T HIT THE BALL!!!! DON'T HIT THE BALL!!!!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WHEN FORWARDING, PLEASE KEEP THIS EMAIL INTACT. SUBSCRIBE / UNSUBSCRIBE: http://jokepost.com/subscribe.html ADVERTISING INFO: Show your 5-7 line email ad to 50,000+ people! Only $35-$85 send mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] JOKE SUBMISSIONS: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] -or- mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] COPYRIGHT INFO: http://jokepost.com/copyright.html ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ THE DAILY JOKE POST! Is brought to you by JOKEPOST.com! http://www.jokepost.com Your source for jokes on the internet. --------- End forwarded message ---------- ________________________________________________________________ YOU'RE PAYING TOO MUCH FOR THE INTERNET! Juno now offers FREE Internet Access! Try it today - there's no risk! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/tagj. _______ To unsubscribe, send "unsubscribe rangernet" to [EMAIL PROTECTED] "Eat the hay & spit out the sticks! - A#1's mule" RTKB&G4JC! http://rangernet.org Autoresponder: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
