Chester McVay wrote: > > How to Install LOVE > > Customer Service (CS) Rep. : Yes, Ma'am, how can I help you today? > > Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install > LOVE. > Can you guide me through the process? > > CS Rep. : Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed? > > Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to > install now. What do I do first? > > CS Rep. : The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located > your HEART ma'am? > > Customer: Yes I have, but there are several other programs running > right now. Is it! ! okay to install while they are running? > > CS Rep. : What programs are running ma'am? > > Customer: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE, LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, > GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now. > > CS Rep. : No problem. LOVE will gradually erase PAST-HURT.EXE from > your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, > but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually > overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called > HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE > and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly > installed. Can you turn those off ma'am? > > Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how? > > CS Rep. : My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke > FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE > and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased. > > Customer: Okay, done. LOVE has started installing itself > automatically. Is that normal? > > CS Rep. : Yes. You should receive a message that says it will > reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message? > > Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed? > > CS Rep. : Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You > need to begin connecting to other HEART's in order to get the > upgrades. > > Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do? > > CS Rep. : What does the message say? > > Customer: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL > COMPONENTS." > What does that mean? > > CS Rep. : Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that > the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet > been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming > things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE" > your own machine before it can "LOVE" others. > > Customer: So what should I do? > > CS Rep. : Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"? > > Customer: Yes, I have it. > > CS Rep. : Excellent. You're getting good at this. > > Customer: Thank you. > > CS Rep. : You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy > them to the "MY HEART" directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, > REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC. > The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin > patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete > VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your > recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never > comes back. > > Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with new files! ! . > SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that > PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves > all over my HEART. Is this normal? > > CS Rep. : Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually > everything gets downloaded at the proper time. So, LOVE is installed > and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing > before I go. > > Customer: Yes? > > CS Rep. : LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various > modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other > people and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you. > > Customer: I will. Thanks for your help. By the way, what's your > name? > > CS Rep. : You can call me the Divine Cardiologist, also known as The > Great Physician. Most people feel all they need is an annual check-up > to stay heart-healthy, but the manufacturer (Me) suggests a schedule > of daily maintenance for maximum efficiency. Put another way, keep in > touch......... > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- > Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com _______ To unsubscribe, send "unsubscribe rangernet" to [EMAIL PROTECTED] or visit http://rangernet.org/subscribe.htm http://rangernet.org Autoresponder: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
