Rangernetter, look at number 4
>THE EIGHT WORST CONVENIENCE FOODS
>
>8. Meeter's Kraut Juice (Stokely USA): Yes, that's sauerkraut juice, which
is even worse than it sounds. The taste and smell can be a bit, well, harsh,
but KJ is reputed by its fans to have certain medicinal benefits (as a
source of vitamin C, cure for intestinal bugs, etc.), which adds up to a
classic case of the cure being worse than the disease.
>
>7. Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices Added (Bedessee Imports): The best
thing about this Uruguayan canned good is the very pouty-looking sheep on
the package label -- he seems to be saying, "Go on, eat me already." The
second-best thing is the presence of both "cooked mutton" and "mutton" in
the ingredients listing, which would seem to have all the mutton bases
covered.
>
>6. Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Dial Corp.): If you're really looking
to clog up those arteries in a hurry, you'll be pleased to learn that a
single serving of pork brains has 1,170 percent of our recommended daily
cholesterol intake. All the more ingenious, then, that the label on this
product helpfully features a recipe for brains and scrambled eggs.
>
>5. Sweet Sue Canned Whole Chicken (Sweet Sue Kitchens, Inc.): From its size
(think growth-impaired Cornish hen) to its overall appearance (it's stewed
in a quivering mass of aspic goop), this product may change forever your
idea of what constitutes a chicken. Gives new meaning to the old line about
meat "falling off the bone."
>
>4. Musk Life Savers (Nestle Confectionery): You may think musk is a scent,
but over in Australia, they think it's a candy flavor. A candy flavor that
tastes disturbingly like raw meat, to be precise. But what did you expect
from a country where everyone happily consumes Vegemite?
>
>3. Blind Robins Smoked Ocean Herring (recently discontinued by Bar Food
Products): Possibly the world's most bizarre prepackaged tavern snack.
Interestingly, the product's titular robin isn't actually blind, he's
blindfolded -- the better, presumably, to avoid looking at these heavily
salted herring strips, which look like giant slugs.
>
>2. Kylmaenen Reindeer Pate` (Kylmaenen Oy): This Finnish canned good may
not be particularly tasty, but at least it answers the age-old question of
why Rudolph was so eager for that safe, steady job on Santa's sleigh team --
he didn't want to end up a cracker spread.
>
>1. Tengu Clam Jerky (Tengu Co.): Nothing you've ever consumed can prepare
you for the horror that is clam jerky. Still, this product does score a sort
of conceptual coup: If you're the sort who's always found raw clams too
slimy and gelatinous for your taste, these dried, shriveled mollusks will
help you dislike clams on a whole new level.
>
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>
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