> > > FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies > > and goes > > > > > > > to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met > > by St. Peter > > > > > > > himself. However, the gates are closed. > > Forrest approaches > > > > > > > the Gatekeeper. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > St. Peter says, "Well, Forrest, it's > > certainly good to > > > > > > > see you. We have heard a lot about you. I > > must inform you > > > > > > > that the place is filling up fast, and > > we've been > > administering > > > > > > > an entrance examination for everyone. The > > tests are short, > > but > > > > > > > you have to pass them before you can get > > into Heaven. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Forrest responds, "It shor is good to be > > here St. Peter, > > > > > > > sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any > > entrance exam. Shor > > hope > > > > > > > the test ain't too hard; life was a big > > enough test as it > > was." > > > > > > > > > > > > > > St. Peter goes on, "Yes, I know, Forrest, > > but the test is > > > > > > > only three questions. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Here is the first one: What days of the > > week begin with > > > > > > > the letter T? > > > > > > > Second: How many seconds are there in a > > year? > > > > > > > Third: What is God's first name?" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Forrest leaves to think the questions over. > > He returns the > > > > > > > next day and sees St. Peter who waves him > > up and says, "Now > > that > > > > > > > you have had a chance to think the > > questions over, tell me > > your > > > > > > > answers." > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Forrest says, "Well, the first one -- how > > many days in the > > > > > > > week begin with the letter "T"? Shucks, > > that one's easy. > > That'd > > > > > > > be Today and Tomorrow." > > > > > > > > > > > > > > The Saint's eyes open wide and he exclaims, > > "Forrest, that's > > > > > > > not what I was thinking, but ..... you do > > have a point, and > > I > > > > > > > guess I didn't specify, so I'll give you > > credit for that > > answer." > > > > > > > How about the next one?" asks St. Peter. > > "How many seconds > > in a > > > > > > > year?" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Now that one's harder," says Forrest, "but > > I thunk and > > thunk > > > > > > > about that and I guess the only answer can > > be twelve." > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Astounded, St. Peter says, "Twelve? Twelve? > > Forrest, how in > > > > > > > Heaven's name could you come up with twelve > > seconds in a > > year?" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Forest says "Shucks, there's gotta be > > twelve: January 2nd, > > > > > > > February 2nd, March 2nd. . . . > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Hold it," interrupts St. Peter. "I see > > where you're going > > > > > > > with this, and I see your point, though > > that wasn't quite > > what I > > > > > > > had in mind, but I'll have to give you > > credit for that one, > > too. > > > > > > > Let's go on with the next and final > > question. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Can you tell me God's first name"? > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Sure" Forrest replied, "its Andy." > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Andy?!" exclaimed an exasperated and > > frustrated St. Peter. > > > > > > > "Ok, I can understand how you came up with > > your answers to > > my > > > > > > > first two questions, but just how in the > > world did you come > > up > > > > > > > with the name of Andy as the first name of > > God?" > > > > > > > > > > > > > > "Shucks, that was the easiest one of all," > > Forrest replied. > > > > > > > "I learned it from the song. . . . "ANDY > > WALKS WITH ME, ANDY > > > > > > > TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS > > OWN.... > > > > > > > > > > > > > > St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: > > "Run Forrest, > > > > > > > run." > > > > > > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > ------ > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Do You Yahoo!? > > Get personalized email addresses from Yahoo! Mail > > http://personal.mail.yahoo.com/ > > > > _______ To unsubscribe, send "unsubscribe rangernet" to [EMAIL PROTECTED] or visit http://rangernet.org/subscribe.htm http://rangernet.org Autoresponder: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
