o wow hehehehe good 1 delma ----- Original Message ----- From: "send stuff here" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "delmas recipes" <[email protected]> Sent: Friday, December 15, 2006 2:07 PM Subject: [RecipesAndMore] 12 Days of Christmas Update
> > Today's global challenges require the North Pole to look for better, more > competitive measures. Effective immediately, the following economy > adjustments are to take place in the Twelve Days of Christmas program : > > The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be > the > cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, > providing considerable savings in maintenance. > > The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost > effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be > condoned. The positions are therefore eliminated. > > The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the > French. > > The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail system, > with > a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds > have been calling, how often and how long they talked. > > The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. > Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative > implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other > precious metals, as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks, > appear to be in order. > > The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be > afforded. > It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per > day > is an example of the decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, > and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel will assure > management that from now on every goose it gets will be a good one. > > The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. > The > function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The > current > swans will be retained to learn some new strokes, and therefore enhance > their out placement. > > As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy > scrutiny > by the E E O C. A male/female balance in the work force is being sought. > The > more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. > Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, > a-mentoring, or a-mulching. > > Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be > phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps. > > Ten lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords plus the expense > of > international air travel prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest > replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While leaping > ability > may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant because we expect > an > oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year. > > Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the > band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cutback on > new > music, and no uniforms will produce significant savings, which will be > reflected immediately on the profit and loss statements. > > We can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals > and > other expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate stretching deliveries > over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service > levels will be improved. > > Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorney's association seeking > expansion > to include the legal profession, referred to as thirteen lawyers-a-suing > , > action is pending. > > Lastly, it is not beyond consideration that deeper cuts may be necessary > in > the future to stay competitive. Should that happen, the board will request > management to scrutinize the Snow White program to see if seven dwarfs is > the right number. > > Happy Holidays > > Santa > > > > > > > > > > -- > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG Free Edition. > Version: 7.1.409 / Virus Database: 268.15.21/589 - Release Date: > 12/15/2006 > > --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Access the Recipes And More list archives at: http://www.mail-archive.com/recipesandmore%40googlegroups.com/ Visit the group home page at: http://groups.google.com/group/RecipesAndMore -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
