A LONELY CHRISTMAS

After my divorce in 1984, I needed to move away from the area - four hours 
away. Being four hours away from my two sons was so difficult. I accepted a 
secretarial
job in New Hampshire at a Social Services office. Christmas was coming, and 
I didn't want to deal with it that year.

A few days before Christmas, I knew by the weather report that I wasn't 
going to be able to drive home, it would be too dangerous. I sadly stayed in 
my
too quiet apartment.

Christmas morning came with clouds and snow. I didn't want to get out of 
bed, I thought it would go away because I wanted it to. There were three or 
four
gifts under the tree. I couldn't open them, I wanted to call my sons back at 
home. I dialed the number and asked for either one of them. I was not 
prepared
for their reactions. They were excited about the gifts, and I was so lonely 
and sad because my life was different from theirs. I held back the tears and
talked with them and asked them what gifts they received. They had no idea 
how I was feeling inside. After a few minutes, I had to say good-bye -- it 
was
too difficult.

I had never felt such a feeling of sadness, loneliness, and despair. I 
didn't like Christmas, I couldn't feel the spirit or joy that I had felt in 
years
past. Why was the Lord allowing me to have these awful feelings at a time 
like this?

There were three or four gifts under my tree. I reached for a gift from one 
of the counselors at work. It was a quart canning jar with a pretty 
decorated
lid. On the front of the glass jar was a little poem about messages. I began 
to realize that inside was 365 strips of paper with short messages, one for
each day of the year. Some of them were from the scriptures, some were 
quotes, and others were common sense. I was taken back by the thought that 
this
family typed all of these, made many copies, cut them up, and placed them in 
this jar with a pretty cover. They did this with love and it helped me feel
the true meaning of Christmas. The pain and despair feeling began to be 
replaced by the wonderful feelings of the warmth of the Spirit, with love 
and compassion.

The Lord gave me a wonderful gift of love. He knew how I was feeling. How 
scared I was in a strange place away from home and my sons, whom I loved 
dearly.
I began to feel what Christmas was all about again. The warmth began to give 
peace to my soul, I began to relax and trust again. I was so overwhelmed 
with
the Spirit that I soon forgot the pain, and was taught a very wonderful 
lesson. No matter what happens to us, our Father in Heaven is still with us, 
He
loves us very much. There are wonderful people in the world who live and 
love the Gospel and share their hearts with us. I am never alone, and have 
never
felt alone again.

It was a wonderful Christmas again, and I was so thrilled that my Father in 
Heaven had not forgotten me. In turn I could go and share my feelings about
Christmas with others. It was the gift of our Savior. He gave to us, and we 
are in turn to give to others, so that this wonderful Spirit never dies.

I will never forget that Christmas how and it changed my life.

~by Darlene Nicholes 


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