"If The IRS Was Run Like Microsoft"
"Government should be run like a business." We've all heard that
chestnut. Here is how the Internal Revenue Service (nobody's favorite
government agency) would be like, if only it were run like Microsoft
Corp. (a successful private enterprise).

-- The IRS, as always, announces new tax forms will be
  mailed the week before the new year.  However it will
  follow Microsoft's example and actually ship them the
  following May.

-- Responding to pressure from some large corporations and
  a users' group, some early copies of the tax forms will
  actually be released in March.  The recipients must
  sign non-disclosure agreements.

-- In June, the forms will be recalled because the IRS
  loses a suit for appropriating some other country's
  intellectual property.

-- When you move, the IRS will continue to send mail to
  your previous address forevermore, just like Microsoft
  sends its product upgrade notices.

-- When you upgrade from form 1040 EZ to 1040 A, and then
  to 1040, you will pay an upgrade fee each time.  Also
  you need to send in a new registration card and get a
  new Social Security Number.  In order to upgrade, you
  have to submit the original first page of your previous
  year's form.

-- Like Microsoft, when you file a late or amended tax
  return the IRS will reject it on the grounds that the
  the prior year is no longer supported.

-- The IRS telephone help will remain similar to
  Microsoft's, staffed by ill-trained, high-turnover
  personnel who sometimes give a correct answer, but
  the IRS will have to discontinue using a toll-free
  phone number.

-- After struggling with reams of dense documentation of
  complex options and rules, you discover that you will
  need publication 3297, with a ten-word-long title, in
  order to answer (you hope) a single obscure question.
  The IRS, like Microsoft, will charge a minimum of $40
  for that publication.

-- The IRS, like Microsoft, will continue to issue
  immense volumes of bug fixes, interpretations, and
  clarifications.  However the tax-rule updates should
  be neither easily searchable nor well-indexed.

-- Instead of three-ring binders containing complete sets
  of tax code bugs and interpretations, IRS rulings will
  be promulgated in a haphazard fashion by individual
  taxpayers via BBS, Usenet, and Compuserve.  A for-
  profit publishing subsidiary would also be nice.

-- The new all-powerful (and eccentric) Commissioner of
  Internal Revenue will jet around the country giving
  speeches and granting numerous interviews, but only
  to sycophantic reporters.  Changes to the tax code
  will be at the whim of the Commissioner and largely
  kept secret until they are published.





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