Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de pear tree. I fix it las' night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in de swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma. Day 2: Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouille an made some gumbo out of dem. Day 3: Dear Boudreaux, Why doan you sent some crawfish? I'm tired of eating dem birds. I gave two of dose prissy French chickens to Marie Trahan over at Grans Bayou an fed the tird one to my dog Phideaux. Marie needed some sparin partners for her fighting rooster. Day 4: Dear Boudreaux, Mon Dieux! I tol you no more birds. Deez four, what you call dem "calling birds" were so noisy you could hear dem all de way to Napoleonville. I used dere necks for my crab traps, an fed de rest of dem to de gators. Day 5: Dear Boudreaux, You finally sen' something useful. I like dem golden rings, me. I hocked dem at da pawn shop in Thibodeaux and got enuf money to fix da shaft on my shrimp boat an buy a round for da boys at de Raisin' Cane Lounge. Merci Beaucoup! Day 6: Dear Boudreaux, Back to da birds, you Cajun turkey! Poor eggsuckin' Phideaux is scared to death at dem six geeses. He tried to eat dem eggs and dey peck de heck out ah his snout. Dey good at eating cockroaches, though. I may stuff one of dem with erster dressing on Christmas Day. Day 7: Dear Boudreaux, I'm gonna wring your fool neck next time I see you. Thibeaux, da mailman, is ready to kill ya. The merde from all dem birds is stinkin' up his mailboat. He afraid someone will slip on dat tuff and sue him good. I let them seven swans loose to swim on de bayou and some duck hunters from Mississippi blasted dem out of de water. Talk to you tomorrow. Day 8: Dear Boudreaux, poor old Thibeaux, he had to make tree trips on his mailboat to deliver dem 8 maids a milkin and they cows. One of dem cows got spooked by da alligators and almost tipped over da boat. I doan like dem shiftless maids, me no. I tolt dem to get to work guttin fish and sweeping the shack but dey say it wasn't in dair contract. Dey probably think dey too good to skin them nutrias I caught last night. Day 9: Dear Boudreaux, What you tring to do huh? Thibeaux had to borrow the Lutcher ferry to carry dem jumping twits you call Lords-a-Leaping across the bayou. As soon as dey gots here dey wanted a tea break with trumpets. I doan know what dat means but I says, "Well La Di Da. You get chicory coffee or nuttin". Mon Dieu, Emile. What I'm gonna feed all dese bozos? Dey too snooty for fried nutria and de cows done eat my turnip greens. Day 10: Dear Boudreaux, You got to be outs you mind! If de mailman don't kill you, I will for sure. Today he deliver 10 half nikid floozies from Bourbon Street. Dey said dey be "Ladies Dancin" but dey don act like ladies in front of does Limey twits. Dey almos left after one of dem got bit by a water moccasin over by da outhouse. I had to butcher 2 cows to feed all of dese folks and had to get toilet paper, the sears catalog wasn't good enuf fer dose hoity toity Lords royal behin. Day 11: Dear Boudreaux, Where you at? Cherrio and pip pip. Your 11 pipers pipin arrives today from the House of Blues, second lining as dey got off de boat. We fixed stuffed goose and beef jambalaya and we having a fais-do-do. Da new mailman he having a good time, yeah, dancing with de floozies. Thibeaux he jump off de Sunshine Bridge yesterday, screaming your name. If you get a mysterious, ticking package in de mail, doan open it. Day 12: Dear Boudreaux, I sorry to tell ya but I not your true love any more no. After da fais-do-do, I got together with Jaque, tha head piper. We decide to open a restaurant and gentleman's club on de bayou. The floozies, pardon me, ladies dancing can make $20 for a table dance and de Lords can be waiters an valet park de boats. Since de maids don have no more cows ta milk, I trained dem to set my crab traps, watch my trotlines, an run my shrimping business. We will probably gross a million nex year.... --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Access the Recipes And More list archives at: http://www.mail-archive.com/recipesandmore%40googlegroups.com/ Visit the group home page at: http://groups.google.com/group/RecipesAndMore -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
