"Famous Mothers"
PAUL REVERE'S MOTHER: "I don't care where you think you
have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew."
MONA LISA'S MOTHER: "After all that money your father and I spent
on braces, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"
COLUMBUS' MOTHER: "I don't care what you've discovered,
you still could have written!"
MICHELANGELO'S MOTHER: "Can't you paint on walls like other children?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the
ceiling?"
NAPOLEON'S MOTHER: "All right, if you aren't hiding your report card
inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me."
ABRAHAM LINCOLN'S MOTHER: "Again with the stovepipe hat?
Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
MARY'S MOTHER: "I'm not upset that your lamb followed you to school,
but I would like to know how he got a better grade than you."
ALBERT EINSTEIN'S MOTHER: "But it's your senior picture. Can't
you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse,
something . . .?"
GEORGE WASHINGTON'S MOTHER: "The next time I catch you
throwing money across
the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
JONAH'S MOTHER: "That's a nice story. Now tell me where you've
really been for the last forty years."
THOMAS EDISON'S MOTHER: "Of course I'm proud that you
invented the electric light bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed!"
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