heheheahahahehehe good ones thanks Delma ----- Original Message ----- From: "Nicole Cooke" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[email protected]> Sent: Wednesday, January 17, 2007 1:23 PM Subject: [RecipesAndMore] 2006 idiots
> > Number One Idiot of 2006 > I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the > poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because > she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that > the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her > daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the > conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant > poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better > bring her daughter into the emergency room right away. > Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with Pride. > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Number Two Idiot of 2006 > Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal > a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out > of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the > river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It > turned out That the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator > beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer > employed at Boeing. > Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run. > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Number Three Idiot of 2006 > A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch > and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While > standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to > worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police > before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America > and crossed the street To the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few > minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read > it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest > light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note > because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he > would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to > Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. > He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at > the Bank of America. > Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway. > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > > Number Four Idiot of 2006 > A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that > measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later > received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of > payment, he sent the police Department a photograph of $40. Several days > later, he received a letter from the police that contained another > picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40. > Smart ass... But you still get a sign > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Number Five Idiot of 2006 > A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all > of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a > bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter > on the shelf He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the > cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The > robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him > because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his > driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk > looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put > the Scotch in the bag. The Robber then ran from the store with his loot. > The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of > the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two > hours later. > This guy definitely needs a sign. > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Idiot Number Six of 2006 > A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving > revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody Move!" When his partner moved, > the startled first bandit shot him. > This guy doesn't even deserve a sign > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > Idiot Number Seven of 2006 > Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that > he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some > booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his > head at the window. The cinder block bounced back knocking him > unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The > whole event was caught on videotape. > Yep, Here's your sign........ Please note that all of these people are > allowed to vote. > > > > > > > > -- > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG Free Edition. > Version: 7.5.432 / Virus Database: 268.16.13/634 - Release Date: 1/17/2007 > 4:45 PM > > --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Access the Recipes And More list archives at: http://www.mail-archive.com/recipesandmore%40googlegroups.com/ Visit the group home page at: http://groups.google.com/group/RecipesAndMore -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
