MEDICAL STORY

Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same 
complaint. Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip 
replacement. The FIRST patient is examined within the hour, is 
x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following 
week. The SECOND sees his family doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an 
appointment, then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an 
x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another week and finally has his 
surgery scheduled for a month from then. Why the different treatment 
for the two patients? The FIRST is a Golden Retriever. The SECOND is 
a Senior Citizen. Next time take me to a vet.

BLAME GAME

Little Johnny's mother asked him what he would like for his birthday. 
"I'd like a little brother," he replied. "Oh my, that's such a big 
wish," said the mother. "Why do you want a little brother?" "Well," 
replied little Johnny, "there's only so much I can blame on the dog."

THE SEARCH

First man:  I hear the First National Bank is looking for a new teller.
Second man:  I thought they just hired a new teller last week.
First man:  Right. That's the one they're looking for.

BISHOP'S ROLE

We were celebrating the 100th anniversary of our church, and several 
former pastors and the bishop were in attendance. At one point, our 
minister had the children gather at the altar for a talk about the 
importance of the day. He began by asking, "Does anyone know what the 
bishop does?" There was silence. Finally, one little boy answered 
gravely, "He's the one you can move diagonally."

HOW NICE

The weary holiday traveler looked in disbelief at a bunch of 
mistletoe hanging above the luggage check-in center. Turning to the 
attendant he said, "Okay, I give up. Why is the mistletoe hanging 
there above the luggage scale?" The attendant said, "So you can kiss 
your luggage good-bye."

Lr Smiles
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