On the Lighter Side...

HAVE YOU HEARD?

One day an employee came in to work with both of his ears bandaged. 
When his boss asked him what happened, he explained: "Yesterday I was 
ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the 
iron instead of the phone!" "Well," the boss said, "that explains one 
ear, but what about the other?" "They called back!"

OFFICIAL POLICY

The day I immigrated to the United States, I was given an alien ID 
card that featured a cute photo of me at age 15. Years later, when I 
went to the courthouse to become a citizen, a clerk confiscated my 
card. "What will you do with it?" my wife asked. "We burn it" was the 
answer. "Could you please cut the photo off and let us keep it?" 
asked my wife. "Certainly not," said the clerk. "This card is 
official U.S. government property. As such it cannot be mutilated 
before it's destroyed."

HASTE MAKES WASTE

"Never drive faster than your Guardian Angel can fly!!"

STRANDED

A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert 
island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean noticed a bottle lying in 
the sand with a piece of paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he 
pulled out the cork and with shaking hands withdrew the message. "Due 
to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it 
necessary to cancel your e-mail account."

PRICE OF ORANGES

Mrs. Golden was shopping at a produce stand in her neighborhood. She 
approached the vendor and asked, "How much are these oranges?" "Two 
for a quarter," answered the vendor. "How much is just one?" she 
asked. "Fifteen cents," answered the vendor. "Then I'll take the 
other one," said Mrs. Golden.

Lr Smiles
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