What do tornadoes, hurricanes and redneck divorces have in common?
Someone's fixin' to lose a trailer home

Why do some people take an instant aversion to banjo players?
It saves time in the long run

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
45 lbs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
45 minutes

Why are hurricanes named after women?
They're wet and wild when they come and take your house when they leave

Why is the book "Women Who Love Too Much" a disappointment for many men?
No phone numbers

Guy walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck.
Bartender says, "All right, I'll let ya stay---but don't start nuthin." 

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it.
The thief was spending less than his wife did

What is the difference between a supermarket shopping bag and
Michael Jackson?
One is made of plastic and is very dangerous to children;
the other holds groceries

Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in the park?
One was a salted

What has orange hair, big feet, and comes out of a test tube?
Bozo the clone

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
They taste funny


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