letter to santa,,too cute not to share,,For all you moms out there *Dear Santa,* ** * I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my* ** * Children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor and* ** * Sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree* ** * On the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out over* ** * Several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red* ** * Crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and* ** * Who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.* ** * Here are my Christmas wishes:* ** * I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any color, except* * Purple, which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the* * Breeze, but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the candy * * Aisle in the grocery store.* ** * I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh* * Month of my last pregnancy.* ** * If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like* * Fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music, a* * Television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking* * Animals, and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper* * Where I can hide to talk on the phone.* ** ** * On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says,* * 'Yes, Mommy' to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who* * Don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without * * The use of power tools.* ** * I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting 'Don't eat* * In the living room' and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my* * Voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be * * Heard by the dog.* ** * If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for* * Enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or* * The luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being* * Served in a Styrofoam container.* ** * If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to* * Brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare* * Ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be* * Helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without* * Demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime* * Family.* ** * Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is calling and my son saw my* * Feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have* * A safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come in* * And dry off so you don't catch cold.* ** * Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or* * Leave crumbs on the carpet. (you promised me last year you would lose* * Some weight with me so next year you and I could be a cute size two* * Blonde...ok, some requests go too far, but none the less.....* ** * Yours Always,* * MOM...* ** * P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can* * Keep my children, healthy, safe and of course, young enough to always* *Believe in Santa.*
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