[RecipesAndMore] Fw: [Fwd: 2007 -]

[Nicole Cooke]

This was sent to me from a friend, its really funny
Nicole

----- Forwarded Message ----
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
ALL THE BEST TO YOU IN 2008
PETER

 
 
Subject: 2007 - The year in e-mails.......
 
 
 
 My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year...You've
 changed my life forever. 
 
First, I must send my thanks to whomever sent me the one about rat
shit inthe glue on envelopes. I now have to use a wet towel with every
envelope that needs sealing. And, I scrub the top of every can I
open....for the same reason.
 
My savings took a beatings because I gave a bunch to a sick girl
(Penny Brown),  who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387th
time).  But that will improve when I receive the $15,000 that Bill
Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their
special e-mail program. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who
wants me to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost
relative of a customer who died  intestate.
 
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking
out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.
 
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.
 
Thanks to so many of you,  I have learned that my prayers only get
answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish
within five minutes.
 
I can no longer buy gas without taking a watchman along to guard the
car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling
up. 
 
 I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
 
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica,
Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.
 Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big
brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant
death when it bites my bum.
 
If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next
70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at
5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your
back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.
 
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my
next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin.
 
By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has
discovered that people with low IQ, and who have infrequent sexual
activity,always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.
 Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
 
  





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This one comes around every year in some form, but it's always good, (thanks Dave)and it gives us a reminder not to get too caught up in silly emails and of course the scams! No one in your life will die because you did not forward an email to 10 people!  And no one in Nigeria or the Ivory Coast is going to give you 8.5 million dollars, even though I've had at least thirty people in the last few months write to me that they are willing to. I had no idea that there were so many rich, but unfortunalte people on that continent!   I do hope that everyone still keeps sending the jokes and enteresting stuff though, because I love to get any email from someone I know, and when anyone actually writes a letter, well that's always a treat, (and I'm pretty sure that's why this whole email thing started in the first place; so we would all find it easier to write letters and keep in touch! Ha!) This year, I'm going to try to do more of that! But in the meantime, I hope everyone has a great 2008! Keep sending the jokes and animal stuff and family pictures!! And I am enjoying the fact that I can type this message only once and send it to 20 people!! Love, Wendy         Subject: 2007 - The year in e-mails.......        My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year...You've  changed my life forever.    First, I must send my thanks to whomever sent me the one about rat shit inthe glue on envelopes. I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. And, I scrub the top of every can I open....for the same reason.   My savings took a beatings because I gave a bunch to a sick girl (Penny Brown),  who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387th time).  But that will improve when I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died  intestate.   I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.   I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.   Thanks to so many of you,  I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.   I can no longer buy gas without taking a watchman along to guard the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.     I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.   I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.  Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.   If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.   I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin.   By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ, and who have infrequent sexual activity,always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.  Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.   Books, DVD's, gadgets, music and more. Shop online with Sympatico / MSN Shopping today!