Doggy Dictionary
> LEASH: A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead > your person where you want him/her to go. > DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the > guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room. > DROOL: A liquid which, when combined with sad eyes, forces humans to > give you their food. To do this properly you must sit as close as > you can and get the drool on the human. > > > SNIFF: A social custom used to greet other dogs, similar to the human > exchange of business cards. > GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to > test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push > the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with > margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts > of bread. > BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control > body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush > and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards. The > person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away. > DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants > them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly > at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down. > THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans > remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to > warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling > your eyes wildly, and following at their heels. > WASTE BASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old > candy wrappers. It is important to evenly distribute its contents > throughout the house before your person comes home. > BATH : If you find something especially good to roll in, humans get > jealous, and they use this degrading form of torture to get even. > Be sure to shake only when next to a person or a piece of furniture.LEAN: > Every good dog's response to the command "sit!," especially > if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective > > before black-tie events. > BUMP: The best way to get your human's attention when they are > drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea. > GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the regular > bump doesn't get the attention you require ... especially effective > when combined with the sniff. See above. > CHILDREN: Short humans of optimal petting height. Standing close to > one assures some good petting. When running, they are good to chase. > If they fall down, they are comfortable to sit on. > LOVE: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without > restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. > If you're lucky, a human will love you in return. Delma --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Access the Recipes And More list archives at: http://www.mail-archive.com/recipesandmore%40googlegroups.com/ Visit the group home page at: http://groups.google.com/group/RecipesAndMore -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
