I love this, and again, will share with the vet secretary, who is an animal
lover, and owns sixteen cats!
Sandy
----- Original Message -----
From: steve doyle
To: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, April 03, 2009 6:48 AM
Subject: [RecipesAndMore] Re: Dear Dogs and Cats:
Thanks Marilyn, great Post, Smiles
----- Original Message -----
From: marilyn deweese
To: [email protected]
Cc: [email protected]
Sent: Friday, April 03, 2009 11:32 AM
Subject: [RecipesAndMore] Dear Dogs and Cats:
Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes
are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my
plate and
food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I
find that
aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me
to the
bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster
than you
can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this.
Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort,
however.
Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not
necessary
to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent
possible.
I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out
on the
other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some
miracle,
I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to
claw, whine,
meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to
open the
door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been
using the
bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other
dog or cat's
butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the
front
door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't. (2) If you don't want their hair on your
clothes,
stay off the furniture. ; That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. (3) I
like my pets
a lot better than I like most people. (4) To you, they are animals. To
me, they
are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and
don't speak
clearly.
Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they (1) eat less, (2)
don't
ask for money all the time, (3) are easier to train, (4) normally come when
called,
(5) never ask to drive the car, (6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't
smoke or drink, (8) don't want to wear your clothes, (9) don't have to buy
the latest
fashions, (10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and (11) if they
get pregnant,
you can sell their children ..
________________________________________
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