Hi, Delma. These were good. LOL. Becky
-------------------------------------------------- From: "Delma" <[email protected]> Sent: Thursday, May 14, 2009 1:28 PM To: "RecipesAndMore" <[email protected]> Subject: [RecipesAndMore] 10 Housekeeping Tips. > > > 10 Housekeeping Tips. > > 1. Vacuuming too often weakens the > carpet > fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever > anyone mentions Carpet Fresh. > > 2. Dust bunnies can evolve into dust rhinos when disturbed. Rename the > area > under the couch "The Galapagos Islands" and claim an ecological exemption. > > 3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter > against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5 > and > leave > it alone. > > 4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduces the glare from the > bulb, > thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your significant other points > out > that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, > "What? And spoil the mood?" > > 5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread > magazines and newspapers next to your > chair > provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your > vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say this. > > 6. Explain the mound of pet hair brushed up against the doorways by > claiming > you are collecting it there to use for stuffing hand sewn play animals for > underprivileged children. > > 7. If unexpected company is coming, pile everything unsightly into one > room > and close the door. As you show your guests through your tidy home, rattle > the door knob vigorously, fake a growl and say, "I'd love you to see our > Den, but Fluffy hates to be disturbed and the shots are SO expensive." > > 8. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the > coffee > table > and insist that "THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes..." > > 9. Don't bother repainting. Simply scribble lightly over a dirty wall with > an assortment of crayons, and try to muster a glint of tears as you say, > "Junior > did this the week before that unspeakable accident... I haven't had the > heart to clean it..." > > 10. Mix one-quarter cup pine-scented household > cleaner > with four cups of water in a spray bottle. Mist the air lightly. Leave > dampened rags in conspicuous locations. Develop an exhausted look, throw > yourself > onto the couch, and sigh, "I clean and I clean and I still don't get > anywhere..." If "From dust we came, and to dust we shall return," then who > are all > those people under the bed? > > > > > > --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Access the Recipes And More list archives at: http://www.mail-archive.com/recipesandmore%40googlegroups.com/ Visit the group home page at: http://groups.google.com/group/RecipesAndMore -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
