Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to seek out covert items
at fast food chains around the country. Be warned, this mission includes
very real dangers such as hardening arteries and skyrocketing
cholesterol. But we know you won’t let us down. We’ve compiled a list to
get you started.
1. In-N-Out Burger’s “secret menu” isn’t so secret these days – in fact,
they’ve posted it on their website. But in case you’re not in the habit
of surfing fast food sites, here’s the skinny on the rather un-skinny
items: ordering something “Animal Style” at In-N-Out means you’re going
to get it with lettuce, tomato, a mustard-cooked beef patty, pickles,
extra spread (it’s sort of Thousand-Islandy) and grilled onions. You can
even get your fries Animal Style. “Protein Style” is a burger wrapped in
a lettuce leaf instead of a bun. A Grilled Cheese is two slices of
American cheese, lettuce, tomato and spread on a bun (grilled onions if
you so choose). And you can get just about any combo of meat and cheese
that you want if you order it like you’re ordering lumber: 3×3 gets you
three beef patties and three slices of cheese, 4×4 gets you four of
each, and so on. It doesn’t stop there – one gluttonous patron requested
a 100×100 at an Las Vegas store a couple of years ago. One item not
listed on the website secret menu: the Flying Dutchman, which is two
slices of cheese sandwiched between two patties, hold the bun. 
2. If you’re at Starbucks and in need of just a little caffeine, don’t
worry – there’s a tiny option for you. It’s the Short size, and they
don’t advertise it. It’s like a little baby cup of coffee. It also comes
in handy when you’re scrounging for change and don’t have enough for a
tall… not that that has ever happened to me.
3. It’s a good thing we don’t have Jamba Juice here in Iowa, because I
would be all over candy-inspired smoothies. Because it’s considered a
health-food chain, Jamba Juice doesn’t officially list these on their
in-store menus, but Mighty Foods assures us that the secret flavors
exist. The ones they confirmed with the company’s headquarters include
Strawberry Shortcake, White Gummy Bear, PB&J, Various flavors of
Starbursts, Fruity Pebbles, Push-Up Pops, and Skittles. Other
tantalizing flavors that are rumored to exist: Chocolate Gummi Bear,
Apple Pie, Sourpatch Kid, Tootsie Roll, Chocolate-covered strawberries,
and Now and Later.
4. Chipotle has a whole secret menu that is limited only by your
imagination – they have a store policy that says that if they have the
item available, they will make it for you. Things that have been tested
include nachos, quesadillas, taco salads and single tacos. Some stores
are testing out quesadillas as a regular menu item, however, so maybe
someday soon you won’t need a super-secret handshake to order one. 
5. If you’re at Wendy’s and you’re really hungry – like,
three-patties-just-won’t-cut-it hungry, go ahead and order the Grand
Slam, which is four patties stacked on a bun. It’s also known as the
Meat Cube. Gross. 
6. Several places, including McDonald’s and In-N-Out, will serve you the
Neapolitan milkshake. It’s just what it sounds like – chocolate, vanilla
and strawberry shakes layered in a cup. This gives me a great idea… I
wonder if they would make me a mint-chocolate shake when they have the
Shamrock Shake in March. Hmmm. Picture from Flickr User Mrjoro.
7. Feeling a little health-conscious at Popeye’s? If you are, you really
should have gone somewhere else. But there’s a little hope for you –
ordering “naked chicken” will get you breading-free poultry. The word is
that this is on the menu at some Popeye’s, but not all of them, although
it is an option at all of them.
8. Like Chipotle, Taco Bell will make you just about anything within
reason as long as they have the ingredients for it. Since most of the
food at Taco Bell is made out of the same basic items, that means you
can probably ask for most discontinued items and get them. One “secret,”
though, is that they have a not-advertised green chili sauce at most
locations, and apparently it’s excellent.
9. Some Subways will still make you the popular pizza sub from the ‘90s.
Once the chain decided to make their focus healthy eating, the pizza sub
disappeared from the menu in most places (the word is that Canadian and
Mexican Subways still offer them on a regular basis). But if you ask,
lots of places will still make it for you. Be warned, though – Jared
would not approve of the nine slices of pepperoni and copious amounts of
cheese slathered in marinara sauce.
10. This one might be my favorite. At Fatburger, you can order a
Hypocrite – a veggie burger topped with crispy strips of bacon.


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