Dear Prime Minister,
Thank you for your invitation to take part in wording up a new Preamble for
the Constitution. After deliberations which went late into the night and
consumed a fair share of party resources, we present you with our first
draft.
We're sorry if it's a little late but, geez, it was a great night.
On behalf of the
NT and FAQU Cattle-persons Assn.
Preambulation of the Constitution of the Commonwealth of Australia
English Only.
We, born to rule, acknowledge and affirm the primacy of private property.
Farqing oath!
Our exclusive relationship with the Big Fella stems from our superior
breeding. You better believe it! And we've got a fair idea of what HE looks
like, eh Donk?
This great property of ours, ours, Australia, was an unfinished part of
the Big Fella's estate until we came along. We completed what HE alone
could not. By investing our hard won capital (and the labour of others)
into the resources of the countryside, all other relationships with this,
our land (and women) were brought under our sole and everlasting dominion.
This, the Big Fella, decrees.
Blackfella's never worked the land, and therefore can lay no claim to it
now that it has the value of improved pasture. If they had wanted it, they
would have made proper use of it in the first place to return a profit or,
at least, used it to underwrite a superior lifestyle whilst being heavily
in debt to the banks. Of course they were here first, but so too were
kangaroos.
We affirm and acknowledge the rights of stock on agistment, including those
on ungazetted stock routes and temporary grazing licences (valid or
otherwise) to chew their cud in quiet and peaceful enjoyment at all times
without Blackfella's wandering around and upsetting them in new Toyotas
purchased by taxpayer funds and leaving the gates open. (deleted �
reference to southern stirrers and to shoot the bloody mongrels)
The ancient rights of cattle, which lie at the heart of this our great
civilisation, take precedence in ALL situations over any bullshit stories
about the great Mambo or Marbo or whatever mumbo bloody jumbo.
Brands. Like beer, a good brand is both a right and a �.
(here the document mysteriously breaks off)
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