Lesbians on the Loose May 2000 All I ever wanted was a family As the Federal Govrnment quibbles over numbers and successfully avoids the 'S' word, Mary Logan and her family live with the impact of the stolen generation every day. Interview by Kath Duncan Mary's a 32 year old woman living on the North Coast of NSW She talks of what she remembers of her early years, with her twin sister Lisa "We were born in the Condong Sugar Mill, on the highway, but my twin sister and I got taken away when we were six weeks old. I remember going from home to home, some foster homes, and some institutions. Fingal is where my people are from." Fingal is a headland at the entrance to the Tweed Valley, a beautiful place that's part of the tourist stretch Mary was not to return there for 27 years. She became an alien in her own county. "I started thinking about it when I was about two. I always knew that something wasn't right. I never fitted in anywhere." She was kept with her sister as they went the rounds of government 'care' "We were told we were naughty twins. We probably lived with five different families, but it seemed a lot, especially when we were little We used to run away a lot, we used to steal a lot - the silliest things- biscuits and things, from the families." She has terrible memories, "I remember one foster home that was really horrible. I used to get locked in the outside toilet. I had just started school, and they used to dunk me all the time because I couldn't swim - I've still got scars". Mary has a bite mark on her right hand, where her foster father bit her to get her to let go of the pool's edge. She says she was also distanced from her sister there, "I was sent to a private school, I did physical culture and drama, I did heaps of stuff, while Lisa got sent to a local public school. I was their plaything. The father worked during the day and when he used to came home, he'd wake me up and Lisa always had to watch, while he had sex with me. l think that's why Lisa ended up a bit, well, she was diagnosed schizophrenic." They left that family when they were eight to go to another family that they stayed with long-term. "I suppose they were nice", reflects Mary, "and I do love them, but I didn't fit in. Lisa was right in there with them, and I wasn't I didn't bond with them, it was always difficult for me I just gave up". Mary did badly at school, and remembers: "When the kids used to sit there reading, I'd be told to go and play or something. I was a good runner, but it was like that was all was expected to do. I was always called a dummy in Maths and that was hard when you know, I tried". Their Department of Community Services'(DOCS) files stated their natural mother was dead. "I can also remember being told earlier that we were this colour because we'd been left out in the sun top long," says Mary. When she did eventually meet her real mother, it was a huge shock. Her sister's two children were taken away by DOCS' officers and Mary stepped in to get custody of them in court. "I found out my mother was alive when I had to go to court for Lisa's kids. That was the first time I ever met her, in court. My sister had found our mother in Mildura, and told her she wanted her to have the kids. But I didn't believe my sister, because our mother was supposed to be dead". Mary thought Lisa's claim of finding their mother was part of her illness. "So it ended up being me fighting my twin sister, our natural mother and the kid's father, for the kids, who'd grown up with me and my daughter" Mary won the case and her natural mother had visiting rights, but she didn't want anything to do with the kids while they were with me, because she saw me as a 'gubba'(white person)," says Mary Her relationship with the rest of her family is very fractured. Mary's mother Barbara lost all her seven kids "We were lied to about everything - about our colour, our family, everything", says Mary. As kids they once met their older sister. "It was scary when we went to visit Annette, who was working in Newcastle at a women's refuge. Heather, my foster mother, didn�t tell us we were going to see our sister. We were shocked because she was a big Islander, and we weren't ever around a lot of dark people. We were always told they're drunks, they're dirty, keep away - so when we saw her we hid behind our foster mother. And she was crying because we were the twins, her sisters, and we were hiding from her. When they told us she was our sister she took us in and showed us one photo she had kept She was always in a home. Always." She's met a few of her brothers "I met Roy and that was just weird. I wrote to Leo. He was adopted out by these doctor friends of our foster Mum. He never wrote back. Then the youngest step-brother Cedric, Mum did get to keep. I met him. That was weird because I thought, you got to stay, you got to stay with Barbara." As for her Dad, "He's supposed to be dead too. I've looked but I've given up with DOCS." Mary has one daughter, Chantelle and is raising her sister's youngest child, Alicia, aged three. Her sister's other two children were kidnapped by their father from Mary's care and now live in Tasmania. "Chantelle knows my story. She thinks it sucks, she really does. She was raised with Lisa's daughter Samantha - the one who was kidnapped" Mary and her family can't contact the children. "When Sam went I personally believe Chantelle had a bit of a nervous breakdown - she stopped going to school, She hasn't done anything. That's been three years and she still won't go in school." Mary wanted to keep the kids together if Lisa, who lives just a kilometre from her and visits every day, couldn't keep them. "Those girls did everything together, they were raised together, they were both in nappies together. Those kids are still in my custody. I wanted to not let them go through the system. I didn't want history to repeat itself without trying to make a difference " Mary came out as a dyke when she was 25. "I always felt attracted to women, but every house we went to we were brought up Christians or Catholics. We used to get a belting for the littlest things .I can't imagine what would have happened if they knew about me!" By 26 Mary had been living in a Housing Commission house of her own for three years and had some space - and some fun. "I found myself a bit more and could do what I wanted to do," she says. She came out to her foster family who "spun out" when they heard, and now only Chantelle still visits them for holidays About the Federal Government's attempts to deny the stolen generations, Mary is unequivocal. "It sucks. It's still with us, it's right here. It's time to snap out of it and stop it Howard needs to give the Koori people back their families and their lives. Until it stops it's going ta cause a lot of havoc - communities, families, everything." She told LOTL what she personally would like to see happen. "I'd like to have a family and somehow get it all fixed. All I ever wanted was a family. In my files, they said Mum was a real slut but when I sat next to her in court, she was nothing like that. She might have changed over the years, but she was nothing like what they'd said about her." Mary is a capable, beautiful woman, but" I feel like I project a real out-of-it lost side", she says, though she's survived and is bringing up the two girls by herself. "I've got to keep strong for the kids. And Lisa my twin". Her main motivation is to keep her family together. "Lisa is beautiful and sweet and stuff, but she's lost. Every time she gets charged up she cries about losing her kids. When Lisa's kids got kidnapped it scarred not only them but Chantelle as well and eventually Alicia will be too, because she's not growing up with her brother and sister. It doesn't stop. There are stories like mine everywhere. It's very real." Mary would like to thank all her "created" family and her daughters and nephew for their great love and support. Contacts Aboriginal Legal Service - free legal advice Tel: (02) 9318 2122 ATSIC - Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Commission Tel: (02) 9256 6100 Black+White+Pink - Volunteer group for reconciliation. Corey: (02) 9515 3239 Council for Reconciliation - Tel: (02) 9280 3177 or 1800 060 266 Department of Aboriginal Affairs - Tel: (02) 9290 8700 Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission - (02) 9284 9600 Link-Up - Reuniting Aboriginal/Torres Strait Islander people separated from their families through government policies. Tel: (02) 4759 1911 or 1800 624 332 NSW Woman's Legal Resource Centre - Indigenous Women's Program. Free legal advice for women. Tel: (02) 9749 7700 or 1800 639 784 PIAC - Public Interest Advocacy Centre - (02) 9299 7833 Sorry Day Committee - Jason Field (02) 9585 6444 Stolen Generations Foundation - Carol Kendall 0408 585 650 Wirringa Baiya Aboriginal Women's Legal Centre - Black organisation managed by black women. Free legal advice and referals (02) 9569 3847 or 1800 686 587 Women's Reconciliation Network - Women working towards reconciliation. Oomera Edwards (02) 4362 3633 or 0414 368 956. ------------------------------------------------------ RecOzNet2 has a page @ http://www.green.net.au/recoznet2 and is archived at http://www.mail-archive.com/ To unsubscribe from this list, mail [EMAIL PROTECTED], and in the body of the message, include the words: unsubscribe announce or click here mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]?Body=unsubscribe%20announce This posting is provided to the individual members of this group without permission from the copyright owner for purposes of criticism, comment, scholarship and research under the "fair use" provisions of the Federal copyright laws and it may not be distributed further without permission of the copyright owner, except for "fair use." RecOzNet2 is archived for members @ http://www.mail-archive.com/recoznet2%40paradigm4.com.au/
