Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review result: Has Issues
I reviewed this document as part of the Security Directorate's ongoing
effort to review all IETF documents being processed by the IESG. These
comments were written primarily for the benefit of the Security Area
Directors. Document authors, document editors, and WG chairs should
treat these comments just like any other IETF Last Call comments.
Document: draft-ietf-regext-bundling-registration-09
Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review Date: 2019-03-09
IETF LC End Date: 2019-03-15
IESG Telechat date: unknown
Summary: Has Issues
Major Concerns:
If this document is going to be published on the IETF Stream, then the
IANA registrations should point to the IESG, not the document authors.
Minor Concerns:
Section 2: Please update the first paragraph to reference RFC 8174
in addition to RFC 2119, as follows:
The key words "MUST", "MUST NOT", "REQUIRED", "SHALL", "SHALL NOT",
"SHOULD", "SHOULD NOT", "RECOMMENDED", "NOT RECOMMENDED", "MAY", and
"OPTIONAL" in this document are to be interpreted as described in
BCP 14 [RFC2119] [RFC8174] when, and only when, they appear in all
capitals, as shown here.
Nits:
The document has many grammer errors. For example, the first paragraph
of the Introduction has three things that need to be corrected:
- s/which has identical/which have identical/
- s/labels(LABEL)/labels (LABEL)/
- s/(V-tld);/(V-tld)./
In addition, there are several places in the document with arbitrary
extra white space. For example, in Section 8, it says:
<!--
Child elements of the <b-dn:create> command
All elements must be present at time of creation
-->
Please correct the grammar and eliminate the extra white space.
Ins Section 7.2.2, some of the lines in the examples do not begin
with "S:". Please correct.
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