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A man enters a restaurant, takes a seat, and, instead of using the napkin,
takes the table cloth from the table and tucks it around his neck.The head
waiter sees it and tells the waiter to go and tell him, in a diplomatic way,
that what he did was incorrect. The waiter goes to the man and says, "Good
day to you Sir.. Would you like a shave or a haircut?".
A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double
martini on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his
shirt pocket, then he ordered another double martini. After he finished that
one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double
martini. Finally, the bartender said, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis
all night long. But you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket
before you order a refill." The customer replied, "I'm peeking at a photo of
my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home." 
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