Article Title: Unfreeze Fear
Author Name: Julie Jordan Scott
Contact Email Address: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Article Title: Increased Abundance: It's Only a Thank You Away
Word Count: 670
Category: Personal Development
Copyright Date: 2006
 
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Unfreeze Fear
© 2006
Julie Jordan Scott

I remember when I was frozen in fear. 

I was eleven years old. I couldn't dive off the pier.
I could not dive, headfirst, into the darkness.
It felt like such a huge risk, plunging headlong
into the unknown darkness.

The very thought petrified me, turned me
into unmoving stone, standing with my toes
curled over the side of the pier, my
arms up around my ears, my hands poised
in the shape my counselor suggested.

I had to dive in order to advance to the next level
swimming group.  I had to dive in order to receive a
special certificate from Camp Madeleine Mulford.
I had to do it to hear the applause and recognition
at one of our last meals at camp that summer.

I never did it.

And they gave me the special certificate and I
received the applause and the recognition that
was unearned anyway.

I didn't learn to dive until 19 years later. I
was a new mother at the time and it wasn't a lake, it
was my brother's crystaline built in swimming pool.

It wasn't a camp in Pennsylvania, it was a new
tract home in Suburban Sacramento.

I remember I had a very clogged ear, an oddity of
post-partum recovery.  Something astonishing happened
when I dived into the depths of the deep end over
and over and over again, thrilled at finally overcoming
that block from long ago.

My ears unclogged.

I could hear again.

I wish those well meaning counselors didn't slide me
through, advancing me without me truly earning the
reward.  I didn't learn anything about being bold,
being courageous.

I didn't learn that when my knees are knocking and
my teeth are chattering and my heart is pounding it is
just a sign that I was doing something new, that I was
about to breakthrough, that I was going to become a
stronger, more knowing young woman
because of the experience.

The unknown - like the murky, dark, deep waters of
that lake, are where many rewards of life live. They are
there, waiting for us to dive in.

I wrote this memory and my heart caught in my throat.
I realized this was summer immediately after
my retreat from the stage.  It was the summer after
my beloved chorus teacher was summarily dismissed
from her position at Glen Ridge Middle School.  It
was the summer after my father started his own business
and my mother went back to work.

My little heart needed to dive headlong into the
darkness to know, in my veins, that everything
was really safer than it looked, that I could trust
all this weirdness that surrounded me.

In my mind and heart the pier, the one my toes gripped
so tightly, wasn't even firm.  All of my felt like
it was teetering on the edge of a darkened abyss.

What if she had taken the time to coach me through
my fear? 

What if my counselor had taken me aside
and worked with me, one-on-one, and seen
me through my fear. Conquering the simple dive
may have helped me with all the other areas
of murky water that made up the entirety of
my life at that time.

I can't change the outcome or the counselor's
choice - and these brief moments with my pencil
scratching the page opened a brand new awareness
not only for me, but also for everyone I come
into contact from now on - for 
the rest of my life.

1.  Take the time to coach other's through 
challenges, or conversely if I am the one being
challenged, to request coaching when I feel
frozen by fear. Work through it right in the
here and now so that it doesn't turn into
a block... of months, years, even decades.

2. In those moments of fear, discern what
the true fear is - not just the "fear that shows."

3. Trust that all is well, that everything
is much safer than my pummeling heart
and knocking knees tell me.


******************************************** 
Julie Jordan Scott is the Creator of the Passion Crafting Method.
Bring Art into Your Business and Business into Your Art
http://www.5passions.com to receive our ezine or look into
Coaching and Training forEveryone.  Call 661.444.2735
or email [EMAIL PROTECTED] now

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