Title of Article - *You Can't Sing If You're Dead*
Author - Jan Tincher mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]
Word count - 1010 words word-wrapped at 60 char. per line
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You Can't Sing If You're Dead
~ By Jan Tincher
Copyright © Jan Tincher - All Rights reserved
I am dedicated to showing people how to live their lives
successfully. However, I feel that death should be dealt with,
too. We have an opportunity to make one last contribution.
Let's make sure we make it our best.
Are you going to die . . . Soon?
Hm. That's a difficult question. Well, let's get prepared,
regardless of when that time comes. And, as always, let's think
about others while we're at it.
*** Sidebar *** There may be some that actually think people
SHOULD grieve or HAVE TO grieve at their funeral. People
grieve in the way that is best for them. That doesn't mean it
has to be at a time and place they will remember for the rest of
their lives. If you feel they must, this article isn't for you. Sorry.
*** End of Sidebar ***
Let's think about the people coming to your funeral. They are
going to be pretty upset, aren't they?
What do you think? Should you do what you can to help them
get through this, or should you let them grieve?
Let's remember that grieving is an individual process. Everyone
does it differently. You will, too, when someone dies and leaves
you to go to his or her funeral, then to face your life the next day
without them. Wouldn't you say that's a bad enough trek for you?
Why should people suffer more at a funeral than they have to?
Now, this isn't a recommendation of any sort. I am fully aware of
the different aspects of dying, of mourning, and of the seriousness
of it. You have to make a choice every time you think about that
person. Are you going to think sad thoughts or are you going to
think good thoughts? You know what I prefer. You make your own
decision, BUT make it wisely.
Do you realize that good thoughts will help that person's soul
continue on its journey. Do you realize bad thoughts do not help
that person's soul continue on its journey?
I'm sure, somewhere, it says we should have long funerals. However,
I disagree. If fellowship is needed, and I feel it is, then have a long
reception with planned socializing. Why not have something that
encourages togetherness, so people know they aren't alone?
The point is, we are all going to die. The point is, we can be in
charge of our own funeral. The point is, WE can make OUR funeral
set the pace for our loved ones while still being sensitive to their
The reason the experience at the funeral is so important, in case
some of you didn't know, is because we don't cry our hearts out
at the funeral and then go out and live our lives as usual the next
day. It's too hard. We have a memory now of the funeral that we
will carry with us. It is up to the person who has passed over to do
what they can ahead of time to make sure their funeral sets the
right pace, that the memory doesn't hurt any more than it has to.
There is a little ditty after this article. If you don't like it, per se,
take responsibility to find something to take its place. But only IF
you agree that a funeral sets the pace for your loved ones and their
memories of you. IF you agree that the sooner a person can start
living productively again, they WILL start living productively. IF
you agree that we need to change the course funerals have been
It may seem purely irrelevant to our lives, but since it is death, it
isn't irrelevant. We don't need to march to the old drummer. We
need to start living our lives as successfully as we know how. We
need to direct our deaths as successfully as we know how, so the
living can get on with their lives. This is only the beginning of what
we can do to help them.
Again, You Can't Sing If You're Dead . . . But the congregation
This is one song that comes to mind as the casket goes out, but
only if you have a sense of humor. I mean no offense, which you
To the tune of: *If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!*
*There's a fly in my casket, close the lid.
There's a fly in my casket, close the lid.
There's a fly in my casket, it will stay if I ask it.
There's a fly in my casket, close the lid.*
*If you would like the second verse, feel free to e-mail.* <g>
Thanks for reading,
P.S. Here's what I've found to be the best methods for growing
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