Breaking News: AVIAN FLU NOW MORE POPULAR THAN BUSH; Bird Pandemic Surges Ahead of President in Latest Poll
http://www.borowitzreport.com In a seemingly ominous development for the White House, a new survey released today indicates that the avian flu is now more popular than President George W. Bush. The poll, which was taken by the University of Minnesota's Opinion Research Institute, puts the President's approval rating at 34 percent, well behind the avian flu at 46 percent. While the President's numbers have been trending downward for the last several weeks, the White House was reportedly stunned to learn that the President is now significantly less popular than a deadly bird-borne pandemic. "There's no way for the White House to spin these numbers," said the University of Minnesota's Davis Logsdon, who supervised the survey. "When a pandemic that threatens the world's bird population is more popular than you are, you're in serious political trouble." According to Mr. Logsdon, the avian flu gets higher marks for honesty than President Bush does: "The bird pandemic at least comes out and says it is a bird pandemic, and voters find that refreshing." Mr. Logsdon said that the one way for the President to increase his popularity vis-à-vis the avian flu would be to eradicate the avian flu, possibly by having Vice President Dick Cheney take out his shotgun and shoot at the world's birds. But even this strategy carries with it certain risks: "Thousands of people could wind up getting shot in the face." Elsewhere, the Penguin Group paid a reported $8.5 million for former Fed chairman Alan Greenspan's memoirs, hoping to appeal to the millions of Americans who currently use Ambien. = = = = = = = = = This funny has been shared with you from ~~Suz~~ * Only 1,041 days remaining until Inaugural Day 1/20/09 * Mark Twain: "The only time the children are safe is when Congress is not in session." *Jesus was a Liberal. Liberalism as defined by Webster's Dictionary: "a political philosophy based on belief in progress, the essential goodness of man, and the autonomy of the individual and standing for tolerance and freedom for the individual from arbitrary authority in all spheres of life. I'm not sure why anyone would feel threatened by Liberalism as defined by the dictionary. They are apparently unaware or simply refuse to acknowledge the long history of liberals who have labored for the betterment of society & the furthering of God's Kingdom. * Jeff Foxworthy: http://informationclearinghouse.info/article12188.htm * "If this were a dictatorship, it would be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator." GWBush, 43rdPresident,CNN.com, December 18, 2000 * IMPORTANT!! Click here: http://tinyurl.com/cfsrc --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ [RobsList] A progressive group that is part of http://robwire.com You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "RobsList" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/Robslist -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
