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The difference between "guts" and "balls"! Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?" Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What's the difference between your paycheck & your dick? A: You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An American soldier on leave from the Middle East was arrested in Europe and charged with having sex with a dead woman. "How do you plead?" asked the judge. "Guilty or not guilty." "I plead not guilty," replied the man. "On what grounds?" queried the judge. "I did not think she that she was dead... I thought she was French." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- HuGe goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I've got this problem you see, only you've got to promise not to laugh." The doctor replies, "Of course I won't laugh, that would be thoroughly unprofessional. In over twenty years of being a doctor I've never laughed at a patient." "OK then," says HuGe, and he drops his trousers. The doctor is greeted by the sight of the tiniest penis he has ever seen in his life. Unable to control himself, he falls about laughing on the floor. Ten minutes later he is able to struggle up to his feet and wipe the tears from his eyes, "I'm so sorry," he says to HuGe, "I don't know what came over me, I won't let it happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?" HuGe looks up at the doctor sadly and says, "It's swollen." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q: What did the newspaper headline read when the psychic midget escaped from prison? A: Small medium at large!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- During a good manners and etiquette class, the teacher says to her students: "If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her? " Mike replies : Wait a minute, I'm going for a piss. The teacher says : That would be very rude and improper on your part. Charlie replied : I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute. The teacher says : That's much better but to mention the word "toilet" during a meal, is unpleasant. And Little Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope, to be able to introduce to you after dinner. " The teacher passed out. _______________________________________________ RTF mailing list [email protected] http://rolltidefan.net/mailman/listinfo/rtf_rolltidefan.net
