<…>
> the community
> seems to have charged forward and changed its best practices, so it's
> just added a whole bunch of things I need to learn as well.

Welcome to the web development :) You list a bunch of technologies
which have some alternative tools for the work to be done.
Learn the principles common to those tools and you won't be scared
anymore.

> For instance, the new thing seems to be BDD and RSpec, so I have to
> learn RSpec in addition to Rails and Ruby.

Actually this is the only thing more or less directly related to RoR.

>  Git is used for version
> control, so that's something else.

It is about time to move on from Subversion to some DCVS.
Git is very good choice, but maybe with the steeper learning curve
than others. I have no doubt that in some point of your developer's
live you will meet bazaar, mercurial too.

>  RJS is out and unobtrusive stuff
> is in, so that means jQuery.

jQuery is just one of the available Javascript frameworks for DOM
manipulation and AJAXing. Once you know a bit about that
be it Prototype, jQuery, YUI, mootools, dojokit, etc. won't scare you.

>  Hosting is now typically done with
> Phusion Passenger, so I have to learn Apache and that.

That's another layer, but learning a bit of apache won't hurt for sure.

>  Finally with
> the Rails+Merb merger things are going to get shaken up even more so.
> I really want to learn Rails but the community seems to just keep
> jumping from one bandwagon to another without staying put long enough
> for somebody who didn't come aboard in 2005-2006 to ever get to
> speed.  Like I said I like to follow best practices because I come
> from .NET and I've seen what just slapping together code can do, and
> it's not pretty, so I feel like if I'm going to learn Rails, I need to
> learn it right from the start, not learn the "obsolete" way of writing
> it and then upgrade.

Rails if only part of the whole picture. Learn the parts what make that
picture, learn common principles behind those parts and you may
begin to see the light. Yes, there is a lot to learn—server side, client
side, developer's tools, deployment's tools, etc. but it is fun too!


Regards,
Rimantas
--
http://rimantas.com/

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