MessageFrom an Amtrak engineer friend-Chuck Porter
----- Original Message ----- 
Sent: Thursday, December 09, 2004 6:31 AM
Subject: FW: Twelve Days of a Railroad Christmas



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12 Days of a Railroad Christmas:

On the first day of Christmas my railroad gave to me; one junk freight with 
zero point two
horsepower per ton.

On the second day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; two grouchy 
dispatchers with trains in every
hole; and one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the third day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; three lousy 
Yardmasters ducking behind a
window sill; two grouchy dispatchers with trains in every hole; and one 
junk freight with zero point
two horsepower per ton.

On the fourth day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; four railroad 
managers hiding in the weeds;
three lousy Yardmasters ducking behind a window sill; two grouchy 
dispatchers with trains in every
hole; and one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the fifth day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; five Form Bs joint 
with other trains; four
railroad managers hiding in the weeds; three lousy Yardmasters ducking 
behind a window sill; two
grouchy dispatchers with trains in every hole; and one junk freight with 
zero point two horsepower
per ton.

On the sixth day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; six slow orders, all 
ten miles an hour; five
Form Bs joint with other trains; four railroad managers hiding in the 
weeds; three lousy
Yardmasters ducking behind a window sill; two grouchy dispatchers with 
trains in every hole; and one
junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the seventh day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; seven broken rails 
to keep it entertaining;
six slow orders, all ten miles an hour; five Form Bs joint with other 
trains; four railroad
managers hiding in the weeds; three lousy Yardmasters ducking behind a 
window sill; two grouchy
dispatchers with trains in every hole; and one junk freight with zero point 
two horsepower per ton.

On the eighth day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; eight broken 
crossings that need to be
flagged; seven broken rails to keep it entertaining; six slow orders, all 
ten miles an hour; five
Form Bs joint with other trains; four railroad managers hiding in the 
weeds; three lousy
Yardmasters ducking behind a window sill; two grouchy dispatchers with 
trains in every hole; and one
junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the ninth day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; nine cars on the 
ground, dragged through the
ties and two switches; eight broken crossings that need to be flagged; 
seven broken rails to keep it
entertaining; six slow orders, all ten miles an hour; five Form Bs joint 
with other trains; four
railroad managers hiding in the weeds; three lousy Yardmasters ducking 
behind a window sill; two
grouchy dispatchers with trains in every hole; and one junk freight with 
zero point two horsepower
per ton.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; ten misroutes, that 
have to be setout at the
nearest side track; nine cars on the ground, dragged through the ties and 
two switches; eight broken
crossings that need to be flagged; seven broken rails to keep it 
entertaining; six slow orders, all
ten miles an hour; five Form Bs joint with other trains; four railroad 
managers hiding in the
weeds; three lousy Yardmasters ducking behind a window sill; two grouchy 
dispatchers with trains in
every hole; and one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the eleventh day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; eleven lazy pool 
engineers, all laid off
sick; ten misroutes, that have to be setout at the nearest side track; nine 
cars on the ground,
dragged through the ties and two switches; eight broken crossings that need 
to be flagged; seven
broken rails to keep it entertaining; six slow orders, all ten miles an 
hour; five Form Bs joint
with other trains; four railroad managers hiding in the weeds; three lousy 
Yardmasters ducking
behind a window sill; two grouchy dispatchers with trains in every hole; 
and one junk freight with
zero point two horsepower per ton.

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my railroad gave to me; twelve P.O.'ed 
crews, all stuck away from
home; eleven lazy pool engineers, all laid off sick; ten misroutes, that 
have to be setout at the
nearest side track; nine cars on the ground, dragged through the ties and 
two switches; eight broken
crossings that need to be flagged; seven broken rails to keep it 
entertaining; six slow orders, all
ten miles an hour; five Form Bs joint with other trains; four railroad 
managers hiding in the
weeds; three lousy Yardmasters ducking behind a window sill; two grouchy 
dispatchers with trains in
every hole; and one junk freight with zero point two horsepower per ton.

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