Posted at 12:10:05 Hrs. IST on Feb 07, 2010
Dr. Desiraj Dhairyam, the famous Psychotherapist, whose Mental
Institute and Clinic near Madras has achieved International reputation was the
head of the Sri Sathya Sai Seva Organisation, in Madras City. He attained His
Feet at Madras on the 24th day of February, 1976. The day previous to his
death, he wrote this article on his experience of Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba
and His supreme Compassion, which insists on liberating the entangled
individual, however recalcitrant or rejective the person might be. He refers to
the working of this Compassion, as 'pursuit' by the 'Hound of Heaven',
immortalised in the poem of that name by the great mystic, Francis Thompson.
The poet describes in that symbolic song, how he fled Him down the arches of
his years, how he hid from Him under running laughter and sped from Him up
vistaed hopes, but, how with unhurrying chase and majestic instancy, He pursued
him and clasped him close, assured him, "Ah, fondest, blindest, weakest, I am
He whom thou seekest.” Dr. Dhairyam must have had a vision of the truth of this
experience that Thompson has immortalised, for, he was drawn by the prolific
Grace of Bhagawan into the Sai Circle of Love and Light.
The article is a Testament of Faith, a Litany, a Document of
Devotion that Dr. Dhairyam has left for each of us fleeing from the Feet of the
Lord, little knowing that we are the ones He is seeking to save, sustain and
gather into His Loving Fold.
Readers are invited to partake of the inspiration, he imparts and
the hope of fulfillment he implants, in the heart, by the transparent
authenticity of his story.
The poem, 'The Hound of Heaven' by Francis Thompson, has fascinated
me from my youthful days. Now that I look back through the fifty odd years of
my life I feel all the more strongly how the Hound of Heaven has pursued me, in
spite of my best efforts to elude being hunted down.
I have never wanted to be a 'religious' man, nor do I really feel
the need even now. During my seven years in the United States of America, I was
an adherent of the philosophy of 'humanism' which is my belief even now, with
an important and vital difference. In earlier days, I embraced the easy and
rosy path of Epicureanism: 'Eat, drink, and be merry, for, tomorrow you die.'
'You came into the world will‑nilly; you are at the mercy of events and death
is not in your hands. Take the cash in hand and live life to the lees'.
Providence had been extremely good to me. Born in moderate luxury,
whatever was desired came in easy. In the States, the climax of
self‑satisfaction was reached with affluence and a good reputation in my
profession and life was a round of parties and gaiety. To give an example: It
was a Saturday night, frolic till 4 a.m. After consuming a full bottle of
whisky, I drove back thirty miles, in the pre‑dawn. I had run into an island in
the traffic and passed out. At seven in the morning, I was woken up by a
policeman. "I had driven back from an all‑night party, Officer.” "Lucky Guy,”
replied the Constable, enviously. Stretching myself indolently in the car the
world seemed a wonderful place. I recalled Robert Browning's words, "The snail
is on the thorn, the bird is on its wings, and all is right in God's Heaven.”
Thus, the road of drunken‑ness, licentious‑ness etc., seems paved with sweet
smelling roses, fun and song, until self-destruction sets in, insidiously.
The Hound of Heaven was, ever, pressing me. Life could have been,
so easily a total wreck, addicted to evil habits. God saw to it that bad
friendships wrong ways of thought and action were out of my path at right
moment, in spite of my desperate efforts at continuance. Productive and
constructive work was subtly substituted, leading to the constructive
fulfillment of my inner need. God was showing me the way to Him through a
simplified humanistic philosophy of life. This way of life asserts: "There may
be a God; there may not be a God. The question is not important. Do good and be
good. Actualise your inner potential as a full human being and thus improve the
quality of life for yourself and others.” I belonged to a number of
Organisations of humanism. They helped. Yet, the important ingredient was
missing; "where is the stimulus, the motivation, to be good, unless it wells up
from the Brotherhood of man and the Fatherhood of God?" In another way too,
the Hound of Heaven has been protecting my very physical existence. From early
infancy, I was subject to constant ill‑health. Only light intellectual work was
planned for me. At 12 years, my heart stopped and I was given up as lost. My
doctor‑father was beside me and suddenly, I revived. I have been through a
dozen deaths. At 18, learning to pilot a plane I had two narrow escapes. Once,
I was lost in the clouds and was given up as lost when other planes could not
find me; miraculously, I rediscovered the airport and landed safe. On another
occasion, I made such a bad landing that the Chief Instructor said by any
reason, I should have crashed.
In the U. S. A., in that fast‑moving country, the very first month,
as a `green hour', a well paid job as chauffeur to a salesman touring the camps
attracted me. Untrained in driving powerful cars, I drove all night on the
super‑highway, at 120 M.P.H. Various accidents occurred and yet, I was saved
miraculously, from major crash. At one stretch, driving with a friend at 60
M.P.H., we hit a tree and were thrown out and escaped with merely a few
scratches. The Hound of Heaven was constantly behind me.
Even in my career, my path was diverted in spite of my best efforts
to go by different routes. I was accepted in the Air Force during the war days;
but was luckily invalidated due to an eye defect. Similarly, I got out of
being an Officer in the Army. After delving into various studies, and
occupations, by a round‑about route, I got my training as a clinical
psychologist /psychotherapist. I was all set to live permanently in U.S.A.
Success came my way, quickly‑monetarily, professionally and
socially. Looking back, I now know that the virus of rot was settling in me and
my Immortal soul was in jeopardy. Then, a tragedy—the sudden demise of my
beloved and saintly father—jolted me out of that contingency. I had to come
back to Madras, and develop my father's Institution, along my lines.
Running the psychotherapy centre has proved to be very fulfilling
to me. It is immensely satisfying to attend to persons with mental illnesses of
various kinds—drug and alcohol addicts, and persons having emotional problems
in work, marriage or in other inter‑personal relationships. Only an all‑loving
and personal God, interested in the individual, unmindful of demerits,
weakness and sinfulness, can pass them over, protect and chart the course.
The 'Hound of Heaven' had done with its subtle pursuit. He came
out, in the open, in His relentless tracking. In 1960, I married a lady who had
known Swami for 12 years. I had no need for God; but, to oblige her, I
undertook the journey to Puttaparthi, the last part, by bullock cart. As
Bhagawan often says, devotees are 'poles', to contact new 'poles' for the
transmission of His Divine charge. I was the 'new pole', and, His Presence
charged me with the current of His Divinity.
Swami personally directed our life at every turn, ever consoling
and sustaining and guiding, during four years, of vexatious litigations. It is
needless to detail His all‑encompassing Love and guidance to each and every one
of us. It is as if the Universal Brahman abhors the seeming separation of the
individual 'Jivi' and perpetually seeks to clear the `Maya' of duality.
Two recent Personal Interventions are worth mentioning: I had gone
to see Bhagawan at Hyderabad. The Raja of Venkatagiri and myself were
returning by the night plane to Madras. The Caravelle, while taking off, hit a
buffalo. Its head and shoulders were torn from the rest of the body and got
jammed into the landing gear, which got jammed. Emergency was announced. We
circled the airport till the petrol was exhausted and landed without crashing,
in spite of the brakes having failed. The Raja of Venkatagiri and I rushed back
to the Mandir and saw Swami at 5 a.m. Swami passed off this incident with a
smile.
Again, at the recent visit to Puttaparthi, two days ago, I was
wracked with overwhelming chest pain. (Here, I must mention that Swami had
saved me from a heart attack in 1966, at Ooty, of which I have written
elsewhere) This time at Parthi, I could not move a step because of the pain. As
I stood outside the room at West Prasanthi, Swami came out on His usual 'tour
of inspection' of the 'work' in progress. Casually, but, most unusually, He
asked me to accompany Him. We went round for nearly half a mile.
That evening, as I was seated for Baba's Darshan, I told Mr.
Achuthanandam (our State President) about the pain, expecting anything to
happen, any moment. Bhagawan called us both for an interview. We heard a long
discourse from Bhagawan and I was giving rapt attention. At the end of the
interview, I told Swami of the pain, and Bhagawan laughed it away.
Next morning, we drove non‑stop to Madras. That night at 1 A.M.,
intense pain woke me up and I was rushed to the hospital. After the tests, the
doctor said, my heart was normal and that it was only bronchial asthma. Yet, he
said puzzled, "You had isccaemia of the heart, 5 years ago. You don’t have it
now. Take it easy,” I said to myself, "May be, the isccaemia of the heart was
not only 5 years ago, but, also 5 hours ago.”
This has been a personal account. It has not been written to
highlight the 'uniqueness' or the 'special' Providence of God, but, to stress
the theme of the 'Hound of Heaven'. The Hound pursues, tracks down, and
captures every Jiva, in its own unique way, according to the needs, the
peculiarities and potential of the Jiva. Bhagawan draws people by the
millions, because in each and every case, He pursues and brings the person to
His fold.
I am not a philosopher or a religious man well versed in the
religious texts. For them, special paths may be necessary. But, as Bhagawan
said, "To find God is easy and simple.” I find it so. "Surrender to the God
calling you. His Grace will encompass you, ennoble you, and enable you to reach
equilibrium of the mind, Samadhi.”
sourced:
http://www.sssbpt.org/Pages/Prasanthi_Nilayam/sundayspecial07022010.html
