Family Time with Beloved Sai
- An engaging and insightful conversation with Sharon and Judy Sandweiss
In November 2009, Radio Sai interviewed Sharon and Judy Sandweiss of
California, USA in which the mother-daughter duo shared reflections of their
life with Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba.
Sharon Sandweiss learnt of Bhagavan Baba when her husband Dr. Samuel
Sandweiss, an American psychiatrist, first traveled to India to explore the Sai
phenomena in the early 70s. He later wrote three highly acclaimed books about
Sri Sathya Sai Baba.
Sharon, and her husband Sam, have hosted a Sai Baba Center in their home for
over 37 years and have raised a family of four accomplished daughters. By
profession, Sharon was a public high school teacher and an advisor/coordinator
for the Sathya Sai Young Adult Program in her region. For a number of years,
she served as editor of Sai World Newsletter, a newsletter for Sai children in
the age group of 6-13. During the Sandweiss family’s long and close association
with Bhagavan Baba, Sharon has had wonderful experiences with Him.
Judy Sandweiss is the youngest of Sharon and Samuel Sandweiss’ four
daughters. She was less than a year old when her father, Dr. Sandweiss, first
went to see Sri Sathya Sai Baba. Judy and her three older sisters have been
fortunate to have grown up with Baba in their lives. After Baba directed her to
study "management administration," she got her Master’ s degree in Health
Administration and another in Industrial and Labor Relations from Cornell
University. She currently works in the human resources department of a
high-tech company based in San Diego.
Reproduced below are excerpts from their interview with Radio Sai Global
Harmony.
Listen to the Radio interview with Sharon and Judy Sandweiss
Part-1
Radio Sai: Sharon and Judy Sandweiss, welcome to Radio Sai. We will start with
Sharon. A lot of people have read your husband Dr. Samuel Sandweiss's book, Sai
Baba - The Holy Man and the Psychiatrist. But for the benefit of those who have
not read it, can you tell us about Swami's entry into your life and why you
were drawn to Him?
Dr. Samuel Sandweiss' highly acclaimed book that brought Sai to millions
Sharon: It is a long story... It began when I first met my husband. He was
always curious to know the meaning of life, the mystery of life. I did not
enquire into these questions because I was afraid the answer would be too sad,
that there would be no meaning. After we were married, Sam continued questing
for the meaning of life.
In 1972, Sam heard about Sai Baba from the famous yoga teacher, Ms. Indra Devi.
He asked her about consciousness and other things, and all she said in reply
was, "Sai Baba, Sai Baba." Within a short while he was on a plane to India. I
was a mother of four young daughters and wondered what had happened to my
husband. I did have the book Man of Miracles, but we didn’t have the internet
then to know more about Sai Baba. I was in the dark.
My husband returned one month later, transformed. He told us, "God is on Earth
in the form of Sai Baba. You are God I am God, we are all God.” He said our
life would change forever... I wondered what he was talking about. I didn’t
know what to expect. I watched my husband rapidly becoming transformed.
RS: What were the changes you noticed in him?
Sharon: He became very calm… The motorcycle disappeared; the fast car was not
to be seen. He became calmer, more peaceful, more patient and more loving. He
was always loving, but now he became more loving. I wanted to have the same
deep faith, that same experience. Within a few months, we left our four
daughters in good care for 10 days, which was very hard, to see Sai Baba. Since
then, Baba has brought much joy and sanctity to our family life.
Sharon: Yes, it took 14 years of struggling, but never letting go. I will
tell the same to anyone who is struggling, as I was: do not let go of Him. Hold
on, talk to Him, look for Him, pray to Him, and then you will see how wonderful
it becomes. He comes as a Living Presence. It is such a precious gift.
My story is very long and it was not an instantaneous love or appreciation for
Baba. I struggled a lot because I did not understand His teachings about Unity.
I am Jewish, and the Jewish faith doesn’t accept God in human form. I couldn’t
quite understand the concept of Avatar.
Mother daughter team of Judy and Sharon
Sandweiss at Radio Sai
But I saw that there was a promise, because Baba's teachings held answers to my
questions and worries. I had a fear of death, and during our first trip I asked
Baba about it. He soothingly said, "How can you fear death? You merely shed
your body like you shed an article of clothing. You are infinite." It was very
comforting.
Our lives changed. We immediately set up a Sai Baba center in our home, which
was unusual in the U.S. in 1973 or '74 (The Sai Center is still in our home, 37
years later!)
But I was still questioning and entreating Baba to give me the faith that I saw
in my husband. Finally, I did have an experience after 14 years… He opened my
heart and I saw His magnificence, His glory and I just fell in love with Him.
I realized He was Divinity. I saw that love is at the core of all religions.
RS: So it was a 14-year-long period?
Sharon: Yes, it took 14 years of struggling, but never letting go. I will tell
the same to anyone who is struggling, as I was: do not let go of Him. Hold on,
talk to Him, look for Him, pray to Him, and then you will see how wonderful it
becomes. He comes as a Living Presence. It is such a precious gift.
Judy: There is also a special connection. When Mom first went to Indra Devi's
place, she had an impulse to ask the date of Sai Baba's birthday and the
response was November 23rd - and that's Mom's birthday! So from the very
beginning there was a little special connection.
RS: Judy, you have seen your parents take to the Sai path right from the time
when you were a little girl. What was it like to have them bring in a teacher
from India, into the family?
Judy: I was not even a year old when my Dad first went to see Baba. I can’t
remember anything but having bhajans at our home, talking about Baba, His
grace, and seeing His pictures and videos.
My three older sisters and I have been blessed to have parents who are very
loving and who practice values that Baba teaches. They love us and have always
been very patient and open and have never pushed anything on us.
I am fortunate to have a loving family and I think people sense that love
and it radiates to them. We have also been blessed and so very fortunate, as
Baba personally sat with us and asked us what we were studying and gave us
support and encouragement during our difficult years.He showed us that He sits
in the center of all families, if we just invite Him in. He showed us how to
have a family meeting.
We practice the Jewish faith. Though I am not very active, we do practice
Judaism and especially during the High Holy Days. The Jewsh teachings have more
meaning for me and my family because we know Baba, as He teaches the
universality of all religions.
But for me, there was a period in high school when it was difficult. My sisters
and I felt we were different from a lot of our friends because we are Jewish
vegetarians who love Swami. But after coming here over several years and
experiencing Swami's love, we saw how unusual Swami is and how His teachings
are universal. We saw many people of our age in Puttaparthi who also love Swami
like we do. We didn’t feel different after that.
RS: At any point did you feel a lot of pressure because you were different from
everybody else in school? Did you feel the need to justify why you were a
vegetarian and why you worshipped this person from India, which is something
quite contradictory to your traditional faith?
Judy Sandweiss in conversation with Radio Sai
Judy: We are four sisters and we have always been each other's friend and
confidante. We have always been able to talk with each other and our parents
about our concerns or fears. I think people watched our actions, they saw that
we were nice to each other, to our friends and that we are kind, giving, and
loving.
One of our Spanish teachers became a Baba devotee after she had all of us in
her class at different times. When she found out that we were going to India
she said, "Hmm ... Who is this Sai Baba?" She explored for herself and then
became a devotee.
Sharon: Some of their friends are now vegetarians and have expressed spiritual
interests. So in a way, the girls were ahead of their times, as their
contemporaries are now on the path to finding deeper meaning in their lives.
RS: It is very interesting that people are trying to know more about Swami
through your example…
Judy: Maybe a little bit. I am not putting myself up as an example at all, but
I am fortunate to have a loving family and I think people sense that love and
it radiates to them. We have also been blessed and so very fortunate, as Baba
personally sat with us and asked us what we were studying and gave us support
and encouragement during our difficult years. When you are in high school and
college, you don’t know what to do in life and He was so personally involved
with that.
Sharon: He showed us that He sits in the center of all families, if we just
invite Him in. He showed us how to have a family meeting. When we first brought
all the girls to see Baba, they were a little nervous. We were invited into the
inner interview room and we sat on the edge waiting for Him. He came in and
said, "Boo...!" (laughs). That’s His playful sense of humor.
He asked us to sit close and He became one of the girls (Judy: So sweet and
loving). Sometimes, Sam would want to ask some organizational or spiritual
questions. Baba would say, "No, this is family time." Family time came first,
and He always showed us how He cared about all the little details in our lives,
including details about our dog!
RS: Would you like to share some instances where Swami told you something about
your life that took you by surprise?
Judy: I am very fortunate. During one of our earlier trips, He asked each of us
what we were studying and I said I would like to study something like physical
therapy, social work, veterinary medicine. But He said, ‘Management
Administration’. I was very upset, as it was a grey area, and I didn't
understand what it meant. The next summer He asked us the same question. He
came to me and I said maybe education, social work or veterinary medicine. Then
He said, "Don’t you remember what I told you the last time? Management." He
remembered that a year later too! When we came back the next summer, He asked
me again and I said, "Management."
RS: So did you really study management then?
Judy: No. I didn’t know what it (management) meant then and got a Master's in
Health Administration because I liked healthcare and I thought it was a good
combination of business and health. But I couldn’t find a job. I took temporary
jobs answering phones, etc., though I had a Master's degree from an Ivy League
school. It was a good humbling experience for me. I then decided that Health
Administration was not right for me and went back to Cornell to do my second
Master's in Industrial and Labor Relations.
Sharon Sandweiss shares her story of living with Sai
I was then able to get a job with Sun Microsystems. I realized that this is
what Baba meant. In that process, I was able to spend a year in our Bangalore
office in 2001. It was such a blessing, and on weekends I could come and see
Swami. I realized that it’s all integrated... your work life, personal, and
spiritual life. Finally, I began to see what management administration actually
meant.
Sharon: When He said management, He said "First self-management, then
man-management." So the self-management part is what we are all working at…
RS: So it took a while to unfold to find what Swami meant?
Judy: Yes... I am still not sure, as this is not really what I want. I have
been doing this for about 10 years and I feel that I am learning every day,
which is good. But I am still looking for meaningful work. I keep asking Swami
for direction.
Sharon: Also, He said that all work is good work when it is done with love.
(Judy: He actually said it three times). I think He is also saying that
wherever you decide to go, whatever you do, it is sacred work...
RS: As long as you do it with love...
Sai has been the source of all joy for Sharon
Judy: And give it to Him, offer it to Him.
RS: Sharon, did Baba give you any advice or tips on parenting during your many
interactions with Him?
Sharon: We went into the interview room in many different situations. There
would be a child crying, for example, and He would sweetly say, "Shh...shh...
Discipline is very important." Once, the parents pushed their child down to
touch and kiss His feet and the child was reluctant. He softly said, "Don’t
force, be gentle..." When the girls would say, "Baba I have a bad thought," He
would respond, "Ohh... bad thoughts, but good girl. I will help."
One daughter said, "I have a temper, Baba." He answered, "Not temper, it is
just action-reaction. I will help." He talked about how to control the mind. He
was always very positive, supportive, and encouraging.
We were worried about schools, as there was so much negativity around, even
drugs and alcohol in the nice neighborhood in which we lived. In reply, He said
that schools were all the same.
He added, "You need to talk to your children because you don’t know what they
are thinking; you don’t know what's on their minds. You have to listen, try to
understand, and then compromise and try to reach unity."
He reminded us that parents and children must have mutual respect for each
other. Children respect us, but we have to respect them too, and listen to them
to know what they are struggling with in life.
Children are more expressive. Baba once said that parents are teachers
for their children and children are teachers for the parents - so it works both
ways. That's very important.
RS: That's an amazing parenting tip - open communication and good listening
skills. And that’s what people don’t make time for these days.
Sharon: Right. They don’t take the time or perhaps it is not in their culture.
Back in the olden days, a child had to be seen and not heard, and people didn't
openly discuss their feelings. But times are different now. Children are more
expressive. Baba once said that parents are teachers for their children and
children are teachers for the parents - so it works both ways. That's very
important.
Judy: Our whole family would either sit around at the dinner table or we used
to take long walks with our two dogs and sit on the grass in a beautiful place.
Dad and Mom would talk with us about what was going on in our lives.
Invariably, one of us would cry and we would work through the problems. At the
end of that family conversation, we would feel better.
The big teaching for us is that when we are growing up, we tend to see things
as black and white. But it is not so. We've come to see that it's not about
being so rigid with yourself on the spiritual path. It’s about being joyful. As
Baba says, "Be happy," and so it is alright to be happy. You can have fun and
laughter, and have friends and do activities that nurture your body, mind and
your soul.
Sharon: Since Judy's twin sisters were 13, Baba has said, "For you, soon,
marriage." They would exclaim "ohh..." (Judy: They are 42 now). He would tell
my husband, "Why aren’t you looking for husbands? You are not being a great
father..." Sam tried to do his duty because we would come back and Swami would
again ask where the husbands are.
One year, Swami finally told him, "OK, no more... You are relieved; I am your
agent," and He relieved my husband (of the search). Three of the girls
eventually found wonderful men, but they are not Baba devotees or vegetarians.
We brought the pictures to Baba and each time He said, "Good boy; they should
get married." When we told Him that they didn’t like Him, He said, "It doesn’t
matter. He is a good boy. He doesn’t know Me."
Then we told Him that they were not vegetarian. He again said, "It doesn’t
matter, He is a good boy," and said that they should get married. He blessed
each one of them and they are all wonderful...
Judy: They are wonderful brothers-in-law…
Sharon: None of the husbands ask the girls to cook any meat... If the men
really want some meat, they eat it at a restaurant or make it themselves.
Sharon: We were worried about one of the boy's parents (about our being Sai
devotees)... They came in just before the wedding, and didn’t say a word about
the many pictures of Baba all over the house… The parents were so polite and
loving… We even did a prayer for Baba at the wedding. It was a Jewish wedding
and Baba was part of it, and… we had no meat at any of the weddings...
Judy: People said that was the best vegetarian wedding meal ever...
Sharon: They are all wonderful families... they all love each other.
Judy: Their families do service, and one son-in-law's father even does medical
service in a village in Africa.
A happy family portrait : Baba surrounded by
His Sandweiss children
Sharon: When we came here a year ago, we showed Baba a picture of the entire
family including our three grandsons. Baba looked at the picture and said,
“Unity… Good family unity," and placed His hand over each individual family. It
was so sweet. We felt His love radiate into the extended families. Our
sons-in-law joke that their wives are sweeter than they are.
When one of our grandsons was about three years old, he chanted the Gayatri
mantra on his own. Samuel and I would take Joshie out in the mornings, and as
he dozed in the backseat, Sam chanted the Gayatri (mantra).
One day, Rachel, Josh's Mom, called us and said that Josh was chanting, "Om
Bhur Bhuvah Suvaha…" Sam and I were surprised, because we had never taught him.
This illustrates why Baba says that we have everything within us…When we were
coming to Puttaparthi for this trip, Rachel gave us a picture to be blessed by
Baba. She said, "We love you Baba," and her two-year-old son kissed the picture
and said, "I love you Baba," like his mother. Children closely follow our
example...
- Heart2Heart Team
