Life Is To Teach Patience, Tolerance, Steadfastness And Forbearance These qualities appear, at first glance, to be out of reach for the majority of us as we try to live in this bewildering world. Baba's request that we develop them as we allow life to teach them to us appears to be merely a pipe-dream. That is certainly the case if we try to work on all four of them at once. If we do, we will undoubtedly feel swamped and incapable of taking even one small step. So, we need to consider only one at a time. They do have a definite sequence. For instance, we must develop patience before we can begin to practice the other three. For most of us, patience appears to be out of our reach. It involves being willing to wait and resist the temptation to leap into any activity too quickly, without first taking stock of the situation with which we are faced and asking ourselves what it requires us to do. Are we really willing to give our entire attention to the situation at hand, whatever it may be? Or are we already looking ahead to a future activity in which we are anxious to engage as soon as possible? Are we impatient with ourselves and do we become impatient and irritated at what we consider too slow a pace? Do we get upset if we are interrupted by someone wanting our attention either in person or on the telephone? Are we too disorganized and prolong activities and fail to take care of other urgent matters? If we are the mother of small children, do we become impatient when they interrupt what we are doing with questions or calls for help? There are limitless other possibilities that require us to develop patience. They are different for each of us, so we need to discover what in our everyday life causes us to express impatience. The only way I have been able to learn this very difficult lesson is to make it a daily practice to repeatedly call on Baba and ask Him what He wants me to do right now. Then I ask Him to help me to succeed in doing whatever He indicates in a fully conscious way, by keeping my monkey mind riveted on what I am doing, to avoid any distraction. It is a matter of "Thy will, not mine", with Thy referring to the inner God - or Baba - self. The next quality to consider is tolerance, another seemingly impossible quality to achieve. First, we must learn to be tolerant of ourselves, for unless we are, we will not be able to be tolerant of anyone else. Many of us continue to copy our parents and repeat the intolerant attitude they showed toward us. But we do not need to continue to copy them if their behavior was not correct. We are free to develop more understanding and refrain from being too harsh either to ourselves or others. We all need to love ourselves, for only with love is it possible to bring about the necessary changes in our behavior, not by harshness. As soon as we can become more tolerant and forgiving of ourselves, we can be more tolerant of others. However, this does not mean that we should allow others to cause us problems. We have to learn when it is imperative to say "No" whenever that is appropriate. But we must do so firmly but lovingly. This brings us to forbearance, which means resisting the temptation to hit back and retaliate, or criticize and dislike whoever is annoying us. It is such a human tendency to deliver to another person a similar reaction to the one we have received. But this merely prolongs the problem instead of resolving it. I never understood Jesus's direction to turn the other cheek, but I have observed that when we retaliate, the problem continues, whereas when we turn the other cheek, it removes any resistance on our part, which leaves the other person powerless. Lastly, there is steadfastness, which means to stay calm and centered and in control of our emotions and reactions so that we can deal with any situation that occurs. It also means being so secure in our own position that we are capable of remaining calm as we explain why we feel we cannot and should not acquiesce to the other's demands. As long as we can remain calm and present, our decision clearly in an even tone of voice, the other person will almost invariably retreat. If, on the other hand, we are upset, nervous, or belligerent, the other one will continue with the demands, sensing our weak approach and will move in to take advantage of us. To learn to practice all four of the above appears to be a formidable task, which it is if we try to learn these lessons with our limited knowledge and power. Only with Baba's help can we hope to achieve it, which entails calling for His help whenever we are faced with situations that require any of these qualities. (From : LET'S THANK GOD by Phyllis Krystal) Copyrights reserved by author We are the children of Sai... let us BE His Light to the world.
