The myth about sacrificing for God
- How Ashwin received more when he gave more to his Lord, Sri Sathya Sai
Ashwin Venkatesvaran was in no mood to celebrate his birthday this year. It was
not as if he was enthusiastic and excited about any of his birthdays before but
this year, it had almost slipped his mind that it was his ‘special day’. Of
course, his parents had called and wished him as had his brother. Even they
could make out that Ashwin’s brilliant mind was severely pre-occupied with
something else. And that ‘something else’ was the 18th National Annual
Conference of the Indian Academy of Echocardiography, the Echo India 2013.
There will definitely be a few readers who, like the author, will scratch their
heads trying to understand what echocardiography is. Basically, it is a
non-invasive method of studying the heart wherein an ultrasound scan is used to
create images of this special organ. In other words, a doctor is able to ‘see’
a patient’s heart using sound (and sophisticated technology of course), without
actually having to cut him/her open. Today, this non-invasive cardiology
technique had invaded every corner of Ashwin’s heart; in fact, it seemed to
pervade and preside over every cell in his body!
On the second day of the conference that fell on the 7 September 2013, he had
to present an academic paper in front of a distinguished audience of more than
700 registered participants. These participants were all either top-notch
cardiologists from the country or the cream of the upcoming cardiologists of
India. Ashwin was confident about the originality and impact of his work but
his challenge lay in conveying the same within the allotted time of ten
minutes. He closed his eyes and said a silent prayer to his Master, dear
Friend, Parent and Guide - all rolled into one - Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba.
And in those few moments of prayer, scenes from his life flashed before his
mind’s eye. The mind is considered by many as the fastest thing in the universe
and Ashwin’s mind sure did an amazing job of flooding him with memories.
To be or not to be - a doctor?
Ashwin receiving a Gold Medal from Bhagawan for distinction in B.Sc.
Biosciences, which he took up at Swami's command
It was way back in the early 1990s, as he studied in the Sri Sathya Sai Higher
Secondary School, that the thought of becoming a doctor was planted in Ashwin’s
head. He did exceptionally well in his studies and was considered as a natural
academic. That is why, everyone felt, that on many occasions Swami had prodded
him to become a doctor. However, the only problem with becoming a doctor was
that he would have to leave the physical presence of his Swami, and almost
every devotee will know how hard that is. In a dilemma on whether to follow his
heart or what everyone considered as ‘logical next step’, Ashwin sought Swami’s
advice on the matter after completing his high-schooling. Swami told him to
pursue a Bachelor's degree in Bio-Sciences. Relieved and happy that he would be
with his Swami, Ashwin suitably modified his career plans and prepared for the
B.Sc. entrance exam at the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning.
As soon as he completed his B.Sc. Swami advised him to complete his Master's
degree too in Bio-Sciences. Since Ashwin had always felt that his calling was
to be an academic, he pursued academics throughout his Master's degree with
all enthusiasm and energy. That would help him become a doctor of the doctorate
kind at least. He felt that was probably what Swami had meant when umpteen
number of times He had hinted at him becoming a doctor. With this new sense of
purpose, Ashwin set forth in the doctorate direction.
Then came another unexpected twist in his career story. As he completed his
Master's degree, he once again sought Swami’s advice on the future plan of
action. He was in a flux because while he definitely wanted to respond to the
inner calling, he also wanted to be near his Swami. His father, in the
meanwhile, had filled out applications in his name to some of the best
Universities in the world. Ashwin thought then that Swami would probably advise
him to pursue a Ph.D at the Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning. But
Swami had other plans. A new super specialty hospital was coming up at
Bengaluru (now Bengaluru) and the Prime Minister of India, Mr. Atal Behari
Vajpayee was to inaugurate it soon. Swami wanted Ashwin to be part of that
hospital.
Ashwin did not want that. This was so different from what he had envisioned for
himself based on what he felt was his calling.
“Swami, I do not want to work in the hospital. Please...”, he was candid and
straight in his prayer to Swami.
“No! I want you to be part of the hospital. You will be serving the poor and
helpless. You must join the hospital.”
Swami did not stop at that. He made plans to send Ashwin to the USA because
echocardiography, in India, was taught only to those that held a medical
degree. That was not the case in the US and so, for the next couple of years,
Ashwin found himself in the US, picking up the art and techniques of
echocardiography. Completing his course and training, he was soon at the Sri
Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Medical Sciences (SSSIHMS), Bengaluru, in its
department of Cardiology.
Sacrifices Galore?
Swami was very proud of him and He often called him to address gatherings in
public sessions as well as in the more private Trayee sessions, where only the
staff and students would gather. Ashwin was happy that Swami was happy but one
thought always rankled him - that he was not in tune with his inner calling.
It seemed as if his life had been one continuous sacrifice after another albeit
for a very noble and divine cause. He had given up his academic plans and his
father’s ambitions in order to make Swami happy and be with Him. And now, it
seemed that he was ‘stuck’ with echocardiography though it made Swami immensely
proud and happy. His question was - wasn’t it the same Swami who was prodding
him from within too? Then why the divide in the instructions he was receiving
from within and from without? He had no idea. Comforting himself that at least
he was with Swami, he continued his work with dedication at the hospital.
The joy of being an instrument of His Love is unsurpassable - Ashwin
performing an echocardiogram
And then, in 2011, his beloved Master, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, left the
physical and took Mahasamadhi. That was when Ashwin got plagued with thoughts
and questions. Not questions of whether to stay or leave but the question, who
will now encourage him to pursue the calling to be an academic? His job at the
SSSIHMS was Swami’s gift to him, and his duty and expression of love would be
to do it to the best of his abilities. But if that meant his academic goals had
to wait, ‘so be it’, he decided! He was ready to do it for Swami.
And that was when Ashwin learnt something really beautiful about sacrificing
for the Lord.
Time for the Presentation
Quickly completing his prayer, Ashwin got ready to leave for the conference
hall of The Sheraton, Brigade Gateway, Bengaluru. He was keen to make a good
impact in the conference which would be featuring lectures, symposia, case
studies, orations and workshops on conventional echo and advanced echo. He
joined the four others who would also be making their presentations, attempting
a shot at the ‘Young Investigator Award’ which Ashwin also hoped to pocket. But
the only problem was that he was pitted against four practicing cardiologists
while he was not even a doctor!
It had indeed been a stunning surprise for him when he got to know that his
research paper was among the top five out of the 350 submissions to the
National conference. But then, with Swami as his sole inspiration and hard work
as his dear companion, Ashwin had already attained several firsts. Within a few
years of working at the SSSIHMS, he had enrolled for a Ph.D in the prestigious
Karolinska Institutet at Sweden. He had put his academic rigour to test and
given his best. Soon, he had been invited to present a couple of papers at the
EUROECHO Imaging Congress 2012, held from 5th to 8th December in Athens. He
felt a surge of gratitude towards Swami in his heart when he discovered that
the SSSIHMS (Bengaluru) was one among the two hospitals from India which had
been invited there!
The EuroEcho at Athens provided a wonderful exposure to Ashwin, and through
him, to the SSSIHMS (Bengaluru) which came to be regarded as a centre of
excellence too, apart from being a charitable hospital. SSSIHMS now gained
respect from outside the ‘Sai-circles’ too and Ashwin felt humbled at how Swami
had achieved it through a person who was not even a doctor.
With Swami in the interview room before leaving for the US to train in
the ECHO
It was with this humility and gratitude that he walked to the lectern to
deliver his 10 minute talk. He was the final candidate to speak and the
previous four, coming from prestigious institutions like the Christian Medical
College (Vellore) and the All India Institute of Medical Sciences, had
completed pretty decent presentations. However, all of them had exceeded their
allotted 10 minutes in their eagerness to express their work. Ashwin made a
mental note to be careful about the time when his turn came.
The Presentation
Before he could realise it, the presentation was complete. He had spoken in a
soft voice at a gentle pace and still, had over a minute of his stipulated time
left. There was a good applause as he completed the presentation and Ashwin now
faced the five judges who would grill him with questions. Two of them stated,
“No questions at all.”
The other three asked questions which Ashwin answered with great ease and
confidence. That was when a hand in the crowd went up. A senior member of the
audience had a question for Ashwin.
Even as the hand went up, there seemed to be gasps of awe in the audience and
on the judges’ faces. Ashwin noted that and was sure that this gentleman was
someone of eminence. A question was asked which Ashwin answered to the great
satisfaction of the gentleman. With an appreciative nod the gentleman sat down
and now, the whole audience burst into a louder applause. It was only later
that Ashwin came to know that the gentleman who had questioned him was the
eminent Dr. Natesa Pandian from the Boston Clinic.
As Ashwin made his way back to his seat, one of the judges got up to make an
announcement. He said that usually the pronouncement of the winner of the Young
Investigator Award was reserved for the final day of the Conference. However,
this time, the decision of the judges had been unanimous and so, they would be
awarding the same right away.
Imagine Ashwin’s pleasant shock when the announcement rang out loud and clear,
“The Young Investigator award goes to Dr. Ashwin Venkatesvaran.”
He immediately walked to the stage and with a gentle smile reminded the judge,
“Sir, I am not a doctor! I am Mr. Ashwin Venkatesvaran...”
Ashwin Venkatesvaran being awarded the 'Young Investigator's Research
Award' at EchoIndia 2013
“Oh my God! I thought it was a typo here... Ladies and Gentlemen, the award
goes to Mr. Ashwin Venkatesvaran.”
The applauding audience were almost spellbound as everyone, without exception,
rose to their feet to give Ashwin a standing ovation. In the 18-year history of
the conference, nobody outside of the medical circles had ever won this
prestigious award! And the audience never imagined that someone brilliant
enough to do the same would also be humble to accept that he was not a doctor.
“I hope to complete my doctorate and be a kind of doctor soon...” completed a
smiling Ashwin as the applause grew louder.
The “Sacrifice” That Never Was
A host of great things followed. Many cardiologists and doctors now approached
Ashwin to study under him! He won the second prize in the international
research award contest held during the 2nd World Summit of Echocardiography in
October 2013. And for his brilliant work, Ashwin also won an invite to the
EUROECHO 2013 and this time, SSSIHMS was the only Indian hospital to have been
invited! All these only humbled him and made him proud at the same time. He was
humbled to see how his Master’s hand was at work and was proud to see the flag
of the SSSIHMS flying high.
“I always felt that my inner calling was towards academics. And somehow, every
step I took in life seemed to be taking me away from that. But I thought it was
alright because I considered it as a sacrifice for Swami. I felt that the
Divine knew what is best for me. But today, I realise that it is the calling
that matters for it is indeed the voice of God. And whenever one feels that one
is sacrificing for God, that is a mistake. God always encourages, enhances and
enriches. It is up to us to put in efforts and not lose faith. Swami has taught
me that I should never feel that I am not good enough. Whatever I felt that I
sacrificed for Him, I have got back in multiple measures.”
Thus it was that Ashwin, whom everyone always thought would be a doctor seemed
to change his ambition when he chose to become an academic. And then, he again
changed that to fulfill Swami’s wishes. Finally, he ended up as a researcher
par excellence, under whom even doctors wanted to train! He realized that
sacrificing for God is indeed a myth. God always gives and that too, in a
measure that is beyond one’s wildest imaginations.
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