The Presence…


His Presence is The Presence…The Presence that the entire creation is indebted 
to…The Presence that is the source of our life and sustenance…The Presence that 
is the Final Destination of everything…Students are the special lot, special 
pick, who were given the boon to draw the best out of His physical presence…and 
when they let out the whiff of ‘His Presence’ to the world, it spreads around 
engulfing everyone with the Fragrance Of His Love…His Light…Read on ‘The 
Presence’ by Dr. Sunam Gyamtso Tenzin, who was conferred with a PhD in esoteric 
Buddhism from SSSIHL after completing his pre-university, undergraduation and 
Master’s in Bhagawan’s Institutions. 

“How did you know about Swami?” is perhaps one of the oft repeated questions 
that a devotee is asked. This has a few other variants such as “How did Swami 
come into your life?” (Of course a wrong question because He never came from 
elsewhere, He was always there); or “How or why did you become His devotee?” 
(Of which most of us are ignorant since the answer would be as abstract as “Why 
did He pick me?”) One can be certain that of the teeming millions that throng 
the hallowed grounds of Prasanthi Nilayam, each individual has diverse and 
unique experiences to narrate about the way in which he or she was brought into 
His Divine Fold. It is astounding to note this variety and diversity of 
experiences created by Bhagawan, emblematic of the adage – Ekoham Bahusyam.

Despite these varied entry points, what inevitably follows the first initiation 
is the phenomenon of transformation. Whoever is thus brought in His Presence 
and proximity, begins to drift away from his age-old egocentric moorings to the 
yonder regions of selflessness and love. A Sai Sadhak recently made this 
admission in a radio interview – “The first change was in the tone and tenor of 
my speech. My once caustic tongue suddenly took a mellow turn. I could no 
longer be mordant and abusive in my newly acquired tone.” What happens 
thereafter in this joyride of individual transformation is something that 
cannot be described in words. It has to be experienced first and then 
understood.

In many cases such understanding dawns much later in life when one reviews the 
past sequence of experiences in retrospect and then realizes that the difficult 
times that had been then ascribed to Bhagawan’s ‘wrath’ or ‘wanton negligence’ 
were but shadows cast by His Hands lifted to save and liberate. Another savant 
put it in a cruder but matter-of-fact way – “All of us devotees in varying 
measures are but transformed rogues.” It is only to guide ignorant humankind 
along the pathway of righteousness that God has taken a tangible form and name 
SAI – the confluence of Service or Karma, Adoration or Bhakti and Illumination 
or Jnana. Transcending His Name and Form, SAI is the universal abstraction that 
embodies the way and the goal, Transformation and the Transcendental Awareness 
of His Presence.

I am presenting here a select repertoire of real-life experiences that veer 
round the phenomenon of Transformation. The objective of these narratives is 
definitely not to present another thesis on His miracles, which He often 
describes as His ‘visiting cards’. Miracles happen every moment in and around 
us. We only need ‘the eyes to see and ears to hear them’. The purpose is to 
juxtapose these with the phenomenon of transformation – the evolution of a 
devotee’s life through these miracles. We are all living testimonies of His 
‘Miracle of Transformation’. But how do we know that we are transformed or 
undergoing the process? Well, the external symptoms are a change in one’s 
attitude towards others, feeling the inner pricks of one’s conscience and being 
able to heed those pricks, being aware of the need to be free from vices and 
addictions, discovering a new fillip to sing His Glory and help other fellow 
beings in a spirit of selfless love and compassion. The inner experience is a 
sublime and profound state of ‘being in charge’ again, of being pure and 
immaculate, of being closer to one’s own identity, of feeling His omnipresence 
or living all the time in His Presence.

I had a rare experience as a student in Brindavan. A number of students perhaps 
inspired by the array of Swami’s cars, had got the impression that Bhagawan was 
fond of new cars. At one time Swami sent off a small team of four senior 
students-turned lecturers to Singapore to receive and bring a new Mercedes Car 
that a devotee had offered to Swami. All four of them were given identical 
suits and hats and even a set of travel gear with strict instructions to 
receive the car and return home. From the moment they set sail for Singapore, 
Swami would spend a good part of the evening Bungalow (now Trayee) Session 
giving running commentaries on the movements of His four stalwarts.

One evening, a flushed and excited looking Swami suddenly declared – “My boys 
will come today”. For the votaries of the Swami’s-fondness-for-cars theory, 
this appeared to be the absolute confirmation of their belief. Despite a 
prolonged evening session, the expected harbingers didn’t arrive and Swami 
after remarking – “Kya Kar Sakta Hai” (What can be done?) took Aarthi and 
retired upstairs. This happened the next evening too. On the ensuing day, Swami 
‘predicted’ that the foursome would not come and took an early Aarthi. Soon 
after that, around 8 pm, our dear lecturers arrived with their priceless 
consignment, a deep green colored sparkling car. Bhagawan virtually rushed 
downstairs and blessed the car describing its various contours and even went on 
a nocturnal test-drive till Segehalli.

The critiques cast by the boys that evening on this phenomenon could have made 
a fat book. The next day, Swami didn’t ride the new car as expected and in the 
next few days, He left for Prasanthi Nilayam in His old car. Ultimately a 
senior devotee prayed to Swami to reveal the mystery of this car-phenomenon. 
Swami said –Many people mistakenly think that I have a weakness for cars. Yad 
Bhavam Tad Bhavati is My answer to that. My fondest cars are – Chamat-kaar 
(miracles), that I perform to bring about Sams-kaar (transformation of 
individuals), which results in the transformed devotees taking to the path of 
selfless and loving service Paropa-kaar, which ultimately leads to 
Ishwar-Sakshat-kaar or God realization. The world had to learn two things from 
this phenomenon – firstly that He is the reflection, resound and reaction of 
our own thoughts and beliefs, uninhibited by the conventional definitions of 
God that we are all used to; and secondly that Bhagawan only cares about our 
transformation and nothing else.


Another occasion, on the brink of despondency, I fervently prayed to Him and He 
promptly responded. I was then a pre-university student. “Kaheko castor oil 
face?” (Meaning why do you look downcast) He asked in His inimitable way. I was 
alone with Him in the interview room at Brindavan. With a sudden lump in my 
throat, I told Him that I felt a void within me since the time I had seen 
revered monks in the Rumtek Monastery in Eastern Sikkim partaking of animal 
meat and liquor. Their hypocrisy had turned me into a non-believer and that I 
was disillusioned and confused. The next moment, as I was gazing at His Lotus 
Feet and the hem of His Robe, He spoke two sentences to me in chaste Tibetan 
that had me spell-bound. For the next 20 minutes or more, He spoke to me about 
Chagya-Chenpo or Mahamudra, most of which I didn’t understand. But the sum and 
substance of the teaching that I gathered was that, accomplished seers are 
never affected by the mundane attributes for they are beyond the bounds of 
dualities. For them, any matter is only a conglomerate of the five elements, be 
it meat or vegetable, stone or sand, water or liquor. It was wrong on my part 
to doubt and criticize the acts of such eminent potentates, instead of 
observing my own spiritual progress. It was as though a veil had been lifted 
from my clouded psyche.

The sequel to this experience continued 13 years later when He created the most 
conducive circumstances for me to undertake doctoral research in Esoteric 
Buddhism in His University. As I delved through the Tantra doctrines, 
realization struck me that way back on that memorable morning, He had indeed 
initiated in me the Mahamudra Tantra, the basic Tantra practised by the Karmapa 
School of the Kagyudpa Buddhist lineage of which Rumtek is the second highest 
seat. A misanthropist had been transformed into a persevering seeker that 
morning, although the fact remains that even such close revelations have made 
little dent into my stubborn ego. The ‘process’ is still on, and He has never 
given up on me.

The year was 2002 and the occasion – His Divine Birthday. We had acquired a 
patch of land measuring approximately 20 acres in the mountain fastnesses of 
south Sikkim in the vicinity of a tiny hamlet called Majitar. On the sacrosanct 
day, a dear brother of mine and I spent the entire day amidst the sylvan 
surroundings of this land along with a select group of fellow devotees, doing 
the Bhumi Puja for the construction of Bhagawan’s School and Divine residence 
in Sikkim. Late in the evening, the two of us had the opportunity to 
participate in the Birthday Celebrations at Namchi, the district headquarters 
of south Sikkim. It was almost 9 pm when we left Namchi for Gangtok. As we 
reached an uphill tea estate called Temi-Tarku, we came across a large 
gathering of devotees braving the prevailing darkness and cold.

Seated underneath a makeshift shed, they were ‘celebrating His Birthday’. The 
time was a little past 10 and the winding stretch of road looked desolate. This 
was the only time that these people most of whom were garden labourers living 
on the edge of poverty, could afford the time for the celebration since all the 
day hours are spent in bone-breaking labour to earn two morsels. We sat there 
enraptured and transfixed seeing them sing Bhajans around a beautifully 
decorated altar. Every pair of eyes sparkled with the joy of inner contentment 
and spiritual awakening. No one could have been richer and happier and wiser 
than those devotees of Swami who epitomized the biblical maxim – ‘Blessed are 
those who haven’t seen and yet have believed’, for almost all of them had never 
been to Prasanthi Nilayam and seen Swami in person.

A German devotee while trekking in Dzongu, an exclusive reserve for the Lepcha 
tribe in northern Sikkim, found a group of these people seated around a 
campfire singing folksongs and sipping swigs of chang – a country brew. What 
flabbergasted him was a mural painting known as Thangka that depicted Bhagawan 
wearing a Tibetan robe, bearing mongoloid features and seated on a throne. He 
learnt from the group that they regarded the persona on the Thangka, gifted to 
them by a fakir, as their native God of hunting.

A handsome looking kid with a gaping hole where his right eye once belonged sat 
with his father in the second class coach of the Madras-bound Coromandel 
Express. They were labourers from the Takdah Tea Estate in Darjeeling. The 
father told me that he was going to Prasanthi Nilayam to offer his only son to 
Bhagawan in gratitude. With a bit of prodding, he told me that his son had once 
fallen from a precipice while trying to save his sister and had his right eye 
impaled on a fence. Somehow he reconciled with his son’s fate. Sometime later, 
his son contracted some disease in his left eye which had turned red and 
swollen. The village witch-doctor ascribed the malady to the play of malignant 
spirits. He inserted tiny particles of crushed glass beads in the boy’s eyes 
and beat him with a stick to exorcise the spirits. As a result, the boy bled 
profusely and lost complete vision of the left eye too. The aggrieved father 
blamed God for being merciless and scooping up a handful of ash from the 
hearth, smeared it on his son, consigning him to the mercy of Kirateswara, 
their family deity. That night, the boy dreamt that Bhagawan (whom he 
recognized instantly since he had been attending Bhajans in the neighborhood), 
wearing a white gown took him in a car. At a wayside cottage, Swami ushered the 
boy inside a room and made him lie down on a table. Producing a sharp 
instrument, Swami thrust it into the boy’s eye. Pus and broken glass particles 
began to ooze out of the damaged eye. The boy woke up to find that the intense 
pain was completely gone. His shirt was sodden with the flowing matter. The 
next morning, he narrated this to his father who gingerly removed the bandage 
to find his boy’s eye intact and healed. Now dear reader, please don’t start 
wondering why Swami did not heal the other eye too. He alone is conversant with 
the karmic logbook of every individual. A miracle is but a matter of 100 
percent faith in God’s Power and Mercy, verily as Jesus told the blind boy – 
‘Thy faith has healed thee’.

A lieutenant colonel of the Indian army on peace keeping mission in war-torn 
Jaffna in Sri Lanka had a last minute ‘intuition’, a tiny call from within to 
stop the bomb-raiding of a house that was suspected to be a hideout of the 
Tigers. Instead, he asked his men to cover his flanks and went alone to the 
house. As he kicked open the front door, he was taken aback by the sight of a 
neatly framed life size photo of Bhagawan adorning the opposite wall. Hearing 
some shuffling noise coming from the adjoining room, he threw caution to the 
winds and ran inside the room to find fourteen little petrified children 
huddled up together. Those children were rescued and sent for rehabilitation.

Once during my college days, I was watching in silent admiration the students 
sprinting and jostling to gain a vantage place inside Trayee Brindavan for the 
evening session with the Lord. The elders normally kept a distance from the 
stampede lest they be knocked down by the young enthusiasts. As the youngsters 
settled down within the sacrosanct precincts, I too entered with the other 
lecturers and took a rear corner place. The Lord then took His seat on the 
regal swing and quite unexpectedly called out – “Where is Sikkim?” In all my 
vanity, I replied – “I am here Swami”. He looked at me wistfully and commanded 
– “Why are you there at the back? Come to the front.” The sea of humanity 
parted and made way for my pompous self to approach the throne. “There was no 
place in the front Swami”, I replied. Bhagawan disapprovingly looked at me and 
pointed to one of the boys seated near Him – “How did he find a place here 
then?” I said – “Swami he ran faster than the rest to gain that place”. At this 
Swami rebuked me – “Couldn’t you too have run? Did you think that you were 
granting chance to the juniors since you have already been emancipated?” I was 
speechless. I had already understood the purport.


The message in between the lines was that every sentient or insentient being is 
pining to find that coveted place – proximity or merger with the Creator. The 
quantum of inner yearning is proportional to one’s effort – figuratively 
projected in the present context as the act of running and hurrying to get that 
‘place in the front’. The quest and effort cannot be slowed down or stopped 
until the goal is reached. Chastised and penitent I faced Swami with tears of 
gratitude when He further asked me to move from His left flank where I had 
found some place to stand, to His front directly facing Him and then with a 
chuckle, He remarked – “Yes this is the correct position – as you look into my 
eyes now, you can see your reflection in there as much as I am reflected in 
your eyes. How could that happen when you move away from My Presence?” The Lord 
continued – “I am the Immovable and Unchanging Principle. You are the ones who 
are transient, being caught in the vortex of Karma Bandhan. Thus it is for you 
to either come nearer or draw away from My Presence. Until you give up your ego 
and experience the underlying unity between Me and you, I will just be the 
Eternal Witness, far and distant.”


That night I had no hunger or sleep. Till day break I kept contemplating on 
this ethereal experience. Again and again, I was fascinated with the word ‘My 
Presence’. I had to capture and drum in His Presence in the very core of my 
being so that I would always feel Him close by wherever I would be. It was a 
splendid feeling of qualified nondualism Vishista-Advaita that the Master had 
made me aware of in those few fleeting moments in His immediate presence. What 
a pity it was that having spent more than a decade with Him; I was still the 
most consummate ignoramus, limiting His Presence only within the bounds of His 
Name and Form, forgetting His Omnipresence. To feel such proximity with Him, 
the Lord has given us the immortal mantra of CIA or Constant Integrated 
Awareness.

Years turned into a full decade since I left the portals of our University in 
Prasanthi Nilayam. Living a value-oriented life in a world of aggressive 
professionalism and corruption has been and continues to be a challenge. Yet He 
gives the strength and the courage to face challenges. There are umpteen 
moments when I feel a strange void within me, a feeling of being alone and left 
out. I was overwhelmed with such an experience one evening in the year 2003, as 
I was engaged in my prayers. “Have you forsaken me? Am I on my own now?” I 
cried out. The pages of the book Jazbaad written as a tribute to Bhagawan by 
Prof. B.P.Mishra was on the harmonium in front of me. The page open before me 
contained the beautiful song ‘Mere Sai Mai To Anaath Hoon Mujhe Daas Apna 
Banaiye’ – My Sai I am a destitute, make me Your Servant. In a matter of 
moments, a lilting tune welled up from deep within me to fit this most 
exquisite lyrical tribute. In utter ecstasy I sang the song which I realized 
was set in Raag Jhinjhothi.

What a way to reassure me that I would not be dumped. I could feel His 
resplendent and reassuring smile, His very presence. In the past, every time He 
gave me a song, I would wear out the impact of His Presence in a trice and then 
feel possessive and boastful about the composition thinking it to be mine. This 
time the feel was different. The experience simply taught me that if I want to 
be in His Presence, I had to dwell in His Presence – “I in You and you in Me” 
as He tells us quite often.

II Samasta Lokah Sukhino Bhavantu II

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