Dear
Blaise,
I think I have
met you a couple of times. I certainly have met Clare a few times but we were
all so much younger then.
I have been so upset
by Alfie's death that I have lapsed into my usual introspective silence,
wondering
at what forces of nature lie behind these things;
How so many factors
seem to come into play and how they collectively - never individually -
culminate
in such tragic outcomes.
I knew no body of my
age - not a soul - from saligao before I met kind, gentle music-loving Eric
in Xavier's in 1970.
It was whilst Eric
was very much alive and kicking that Alfie knocked on my door in Parel, Bombay.
I was in Med School at KEM hospital and it must've been 1975. Yes, some 30 years ago Alfie
touched my life. He was only just learning how to strum a guitar then and had a
great love for song.
I remember him
seeking advice on chords, and I have always linked 'Nights in White Satin' to
his memory cos he sang it so well.
[ I similarly
dedicated "You've got a friend' (James Taylor) to his brother
Eric].
Alfie turned up in
Bombay in 1975 with lots of friends. I remember Django and Chris. They were
living in Mahim, I think, and were painting the town red. We formed a close friendship
re-inforced by others of the generation - Maxwell, Henry, Suri and Kenny etc who
were in saligao. After the tragedy of Idi Amin in Uganda, I began to
feel I had a new home.
Like so
many 'expats', I make my way to home to Saligao almost once every year. And
each year the number of friends waiting to greet me drops. The last few years
have seen only Alfie left. He was the last link I had with those heady
times.
A true gentleman, I
cannot forget his slightly high-pitched, infectious laugh and the wicked sense
of humour.
I cannot forget his
love for his wife and kids. How his eyes lit up when his children came to
sit with us in his living room.
I cannot forget
carol-singing with him when May and Mavis were around in the 80s. That was a
choir !
I cannot forget the
times we chatted on-line whilst he was at work and I was in Muscat. That went on
for hours sometimes.
I cannot forget
the lovely letter he wrote me before I returned to the UK. It radiated
love.
Blaise, let me tell
you about my last encounter with Alfie.
I was in Goa in
November/Dec 2005, and I remember feeling completely outclassed by
Alfie's physical fitness when on my morning walks.
And yet one evening,
out of the blue and looking slightly embarrased, he came up to me in
Lawrie's.
He had a Coke in one
hand and his ECG in the other. There was something going on, and I didn't figure.
I guess a couple of drinks had just taken the shine off my intuitive
powers.
He wanted me to look
at his ECG on the one hand, but on the other hand he denied that he had any
significant symptoms. He seemed sheepishly to only want me to look at his
ECG. My brain should've gone: "Whoa! what is going on
here? Why is this happening?"
And I guess it did,
but not to the point where alarm bells sounded.
I did take a
serious look at his ECG, and it was normal. There were absolutely no changes on his
resting ECG.
With
hindsight, I feel that if Alfie had been more forthcoming with the history
of his chest pain and/or I had pushed harder to discover it (difficult when
you know the guy is a super fit athlete who leaves you walking with the stray
dogs whilst he dusts up the horizon each morning), we might have been able to
change things.
I know Suri turned
up in Goa a few weeks later. I suspect he too might have been consulted
indirectly by Alfie.
Many on saligaonet
are deeply religious and will say it was all God's will. I will not.
A
half-competent medical system that instilled faith and trust in the local
population would have been sufficient to save Alfie. In my department in
Birmingham, we get any number of chest pains who have angios and are stented
within one hour of arrival.
Alfie, I shall think
of you each time a young person comes in with Chest Pain. I shall try even
harder to make sure tragedy does not engulf those families, like it did
yours.
Alfie, my next trip
to Saligao will be dedicated to you and yours.
Alfie, I am
immensely proud to have known someone like you.
Dear Joan, I
remember you telling me on the pavement outside the pharmacy in Mapusa in 2004
that you had finally started to get over Eric's death. I shed a tear then at the
saddness you carried for all those years. I cry now. But do take time out to
look at the beauty of life around you. For in that beauty lies all that is dear
to us in life.
With much love to
Lynette, the children and Joan.
Dr Dilip Joe
Dacruz FRCS FFAEM
Chief of Emergency
Medicine
Sandwell
Hospital
Birmingham
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