What is the story with spam/non-spam?

Everyone seems to think that e-mail is not spam if:

   * there's a pre-existing business relationship
   * an opt-out is provided

Whereas the CAN-SPAM act says its not spam if:
    (text from www.spamlaws.com")

    * False and misleading header information is banned
    * Deceptive subject lines are prohibited -
    * Opt-out methods must be provided -
    * Commercial email must be identified as an advertisement and it
must include the sender's valid physical postal address
    * Receivers must be warned of sexually explicit material


Is it just that there is "illegal spam" and "bad-behavior spam"?

If I start a bed-and-breakfast directory and send an email to every
B&B whose address I can find, am I acting unethically?

How about if I sell widgets and buy a list of potential customers for
an e-mailing?

Comments and opinions welcome
Karl


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