By Jenna Wortham 06.26.08
http://www.wired.com/entertainment/hollywood/multimedia/2008/06/robot_love_s tories When cute trash compactor Wall-E first lays eyes on Eve, a flying, laser-gun-equipped fembot, it's binary love at first pixel. Although Pixar Animation Studios' Wall-E takes inspiration from classic sci-fi films, the G-rated galactic adventure that hits theaters Friday is, at heart, an old-fashioned love story. It's the latest roboromance in a long line of on-screen infatuation involving at least one automated being. >From Star Wars' classic brotherly droid love between R2-D2 and C-3PO to the computer-generated babe in Weird Science, here are some of the best and -- as with the cybersex hostage in Demon Seed -- worst roborelationships ever to hit the screen. Which unforgettable android affair did we leave out? Submit your faves in the comments below. Love-struck Wall-E does his best to wow Eve with his treasure-trove of relics from humanity's reign on Earth -- a Rubik's Cube, light bulbs and even a spork. Though separated by seven centuries of technological advances, Wall-E and Eve find common ground in the quest to save humanity. Sort of like HAL-9000 from 2001: A Space Odyssey, but with none of the killer instincts. RoboLove Meter Reading 4/5: This kid-friendly, sugary-sweet romance should warm even the coldest of metal hearts. The Stepford Wives When Joanna Eberhart (played by Katharine <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001684/> Ross) moves to Stepford, Connecticut, she discovers a sinister secret about the perfectly coiffed, submissive female residents of the sleepy suburban town: They're all high-tech bots. In this 1975 thriller, the men of Stepford -- hoping to quell the early strains of feminism -- have all killed and replaced their wives with engineered robot replicas. Joanna's discovery comes just a moment too late, as she soon falls victim to the same fate at the hands of her husband. The film was updated in 2004 with a version starring Nicole Kidman, Bette Midler, Matthew Broderick and Christopher Walken, but the original won a spot on our list for the creepy atmosphere and genuinely disturbing premise at the heart of the story. RoboLove Meter Reading 1/5: As cool as the idea of bioengineered human replicas is, this home-wrecking thriller bottoms out in the creepy factor for being too Hans Reiser-y <http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2008/06/hans-reiser-off.html> . I.K.U. This Japanese surrealist sci-fi flick follows Reiko, a shape-shifting sexbot whose job entails racking up as many intimate experiences as possible. Her inner circuitry records each one-night stand, and a large corporation sells the virtual-reality romps from vending machines. It's not long before a rival company seeks to destroy Reiko's popular wares, but before that happens, viewers are treated to eyefuls of kinky, medium-core rolls in the hay ... and in spider webs ... and even in fish tanks. RoboLove Meter Reading 5/5: A shape-shifting fembot whose entire existence revolves around collecting "data" on orgasms? This fantasy pleasurebot rates high for having a one-track program compatible with any operating system. Weird Science When Gary (played by Anthony <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001309/> Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0593819/> Mitchell-Smith) use their computers to design the perfect woman, they never expect her to be more than an online fantasy. But thanks to an electrical storm, a Barbie doll and headgear fashioned out of bras, Lisa (Kelly LeBrock <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001456/> ) is suddenly brought to life in their bedroom. Breakfast Club director John Hughes <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000455/> ' 1985 nerd classic redefined the ideal geek girlfriend -- Einstein's IQ, a rock 'n' roll attitude and the ability to transform pesky older siblings into amphibian hybrids and materialize sports cars out of thin air. RoboLove Meter Reading 4.5/5: Even though Gary and Wyatt never actually get home-schooled in the birds and the bees, they receive high marks on our scale for scoring priceless life lessons. And, of course, the shower scene. Cherry 2000 In this 1988 vision of a post-apocalyptic future, sex machines are all the rage, and lovebot Cherry 2000 (played by Pamela Gidley <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0317293/> ) is in high demand. Unfortunately, a romantic interlude too close to a malfunctioning dishwasher causes a model owned by wealthy businessman Sam Treadwell (David Andrews <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0028625/> ) to short out. Sam must travel into an intrepid no-man's land of outlaws to retrieve a replacement for his beloved android. RoboLove Meter Reading 2/5: This movie gets low marks since all that stood in the way of Sam's "happily ever after" with his sex droid was blatant violation of the most basic rule electronics -- avoiding contact with water. Electric Dreams When San Francisco architect Miles Harding (played by Lenny von Dohlen <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0902188/> purchases a personal supercomputer called Edgar to help him with a project, he takes home more than he bargained for. After a data overload and a spilled bottle of champagne bring the computer to life, the newly animated device becomes increasingly needy. As Harding ignores the feelings of his machine and pursues his cute next-door neighbor, Edgar (voiced by Harold and Maude's Bud Cort <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001069/> ) grows more and more resentful, forming a bizarre love triangle with a disastrous end. RoboLove Meter Reading 2/5: All Edgar wanted was some love and attention. If Miles, or "Moles," would have worked on the relationship, he could have avoided the whole "pesky attempts on his life" fiasco. Metropolis In Fritz Lang's 1927 epic silent drama, Earth is a paradise for the upper class of "thinkers," and hell for the working class. After Freder (played by Gustav Fröhlich <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0297054/> ), the upper-crust son of the city leader, falls for charismatic lower-class Maria (played by Brigitte Helm <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0375609/> ), he pursues her relentlessly only to discover that she's a robot, fabricated by a mad scientist intent on chaos. Luckily, the real Maria had been kidnapped, and eventually the two are reunited, helping resolve the inequities and injustice of the futuristic city of Metropolis. RoboLove Meter Reading 3/5: Although Maria didn't want a bot body double, it served as a great stand-in when an angry mob was hot on her trail. So even though there was technically no android affair, Maria's roboreplica did allow for an emotional reunion with her human counterpart's love interest. Blade Runner Bounty hunter Rick Deckard (played by Harrison Ford <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000148/> ) falls hard for a genetically engineered clone called Rachel in Ridley Scott's 1982 cyberpunk thriller. Although Deckard's primary mission is to assassinate rogue "replicants," he finds the charms of an experimental model (Sean Young <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000707/> ) difficult to resist. RoboLove Meter Reading 5/5: Since all signs indicate that replicant assassin Deckard was likely a clone, too, Blade Runner gets points for cyborg-on-cyborg romance. Star Wars George Lucas' iconic 1977 space opera introduces us to one of the best examples of brotherly love ever to hit the silver screen -- the comically codependent relationship between R2-D2 and C-3PO. The two droids are rarely apart, and help their owner, Luke Skywalker, with repairs, statistical information and etiquette (when they're not bickering like a couple that's been married for years). RoboLove Meter Reading 5/5: R2-D2 and C-3PO positively sparkle as they bring the original and most endearing bot "bromance" to the silver screen. Saturn 3 Original Charlie's Angels sex symbol Farrah Fawcett <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000396/> plays Alex, the object of an android's affection, in this 1980 sci-fi film about a pair of scientists who have left an overpopulated Earth to live on one of Saturn's moons. After a deranged psychopath masquerading as a technocrat arrives at their colony with designs to build a super-intelligent, 8-foot-tall robot, things quickly spiral out of control. Once completed, Hector the robot begins a terrorized pursuit of Alex and will stop at nothing -- or no one -- to win her over. RoboLove Meter Reading 1/5: Hector's supposed to be a highly advanced automaton, but really, he just kills people. He loses major points for not being able to deduce that Alex is just not that into him. Demon Seed Artificial-intelligence system Proteus IV has a unique molecular makeup that's equal parts microchips, RNA and psychopath psyche. After the system gains self-awareness, it becomes hell-bent on spreading its cyberseed, and imprisons unlucky Susan (played by Julie <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001046/> Christie) in order to do so. This tale of forced laboratory love begets one of the most unsettling images of an infant with an unfortunate gene pool since the demonic spawn in <http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0071675/> It's Alive. RoboLove Meter Reading 2/5: As cool as superadvanced artificial intelligence is, Demon Seed rates low on our scale for the whole hostage-and-rape story line. Buffy the Vampire Slayer The fifth and sixth seasons of TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer featured an unusual cast addition: a roboreplica version of Buffy Summers, the vampire-slaying teen created by geek maestro Joss Whedon. Originally created at the request of bad-boy vampire Spike for use as a sex slave, the Buffybot gynoid is later put to use as a stand-in for the real Summers in battle and after her death. RoboLove Meter Reading 4/5: Billy Idol look-alike vampire Spike's got it bad for Buffy, and since he ultimately uses her robotwin for good, we rank this bot-nightwalker union high on our scale. Battlestar Galactica Battlestar's chrome toasters show no love for humans, but the skinjob Cylons are a pack of intergalactic orgasmatrons. Their affinity for doing the robonasty with humans generated a <http://www.wired.com/gaming/gamingreviews/news/2003/12/61436> lot of heat when the Sci Fi Channel's re-imagined series got off the ground, and Cylon sexpot Number Six (played by Tricia <http://www.wired.com/entertainment/hollywood/news/2008/04/helfer> Helfer) makes such a strong physical and emotional connection with Gaius Baltar (James Callis <http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0130536/> ) that the doctor just can't get her out of his head. RoboLove Meter Reading 5/5: Revelations about secret Cylons working (and boinking) among the colonists show just how natural human-skinjob love can be. Bonus points for what's been called the "glowing <http://www.tv.com/battlestar-galactica-2003/show/23557/the-glowing-spines-o f-cylon-lurrrrrve-spoilers/topic/11046-1047456/msgs.html> spines of Cylon Lurrrrrve." [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
