How true, Mr Worf... how true. [?][?][?][?]

On Fri, Jun 25, 2010 at 4:11 AM, Mr. Worf <hellomahog...@gmail.com> wrote:

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>
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>
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> *Life Lesson Laws for Engineers*
>
> Law #1: In any calculation, any error which can creep in will do so.
>
> Law #2: Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of most harm.
>
>
> Law #3: In any formula, constants (especially those obtained from
> engineering handbooks) are to be treated as variables.
>
> Law #4: The best approximation of service conditions in the laboratory will
> not begin to meet those conditions encountered in actual service.
>
> Law #5: The most vital dimension on any plan drawing stands the most chance
> of being omitted.
>
> Law #6: If only one bid can be secured on any project, the price will be
> unreasonable.
>
> Law #7: If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent
> production units will malfunction.
>
> Law #8: All delivery promises must be multiplied by a factor of 2.0.
>
> Law #9: Major changes in construction will always be requested after
> fabrication is nearly complete.
>
> Law #10: Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will
> be.
>
> Law #11: Interchangeable parts won't.
>
> Law #12: Manufacturer's specifications of performance should be multiplied
> by a factor of 0.5.
>
> Law #13: Salespeople's claims for performance should be multiplied by a
> factor of 0.25.
>
> Law #14: Installation and Operating Instructions shipped with the device
> will be promptly discarded by the Receiving Department.
>
> Law #15: Any device requiring service or adjustment will be the least
> accessible.
>
> Law #16: Service conditions as given on specifications will be exceeded.
>
> Law #17: If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation, no
> one will be at fault.
>
> Law #18: Identical units which test in an identical fashion will not behave
> in an identical fashion in the field.
>
> Law #19: If, in engineering practice, a safety factor is sent through the
> service experience at an ultimate value, an ingenious idiot will promptly
> calculate a method to exceed said safety factor.
>
> Law #20: Warranty and guarantee clauses are voided by payment of the
> invoice.
>
> Law #21: The rule for engineers: "Change the data to fit the curve."
>
>
>
>
> --
> Celebrating 10 years of bringing diversity to perversity!
> Mahogany at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mahogany_pleasures_of_darkness/
>  
>



-- 
"If all the world's a stage and we are merely players, who the bloody hell
wrote the script?" -- Charles E Grant

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQUxw9aUVik

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