How true, Mr Worf... how true. [?][?][?][?] On Fri, Jun 25, 2010 at 4:11 AM, Mr. Worf <hellomahog...@gmail.com> wrote:
> > > > > > *Life Lesson Laws for Engineers* > > Law #1: In any calculation, any error which can creep in will do so. > > Law #2: Any error in any calculation will be in the direction of most harm. > > > Law #3: In any formula, constants (especially those obtained from > engineering handbooks) are to be treated as variables. > > Law #4: The best approximation of service conditions in the laboratory will > not begin to meet those conditions encountered in actual service. > > Law #5: The most vital dimension on any plan drawing stands the most chance > of being omitted. > > Law #6: If only one bid can be secured on any project, the price will be > unreasonable. > > Law #7: If a test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent > production units will malfunction. > > Law #8: All delivery promises must be multiplied by a factor of 2.0. > > Law #9: Major changes in construction will always be requested after > fabrication is nearly complete. > > Law #10: Parts that positively cannot be assembled in improper order will > be. > > Law #11: Interchangeable parts won't. > > Law #12: Manufacturer's specifications of performance should be multiplied > by a factor of 0.5. > > Law #13: Salespeople's claims for performance should be multiplied by a > factor of 0.25. > > Law #14: Installation and Operating Instructions shipped with the device > will be promptly discarded by the Receiving Department. > > Law #15: Any device requiring service or adjustment will be the least > accessible. > > Law #16: Service conditions as given on specifications will be exceeded. > > Law #17: If more than one person is responsible for a miscalculation, no > one will be at fault. > > Law #18: Identical units which test in an identical fashion will not behave > in an identical fashion in the field. > > Law #19: If, in engineering practice, a safety factor is sent through the > service experience at an ultimate value, an ingenious idiot will promptly > calculate a method to exceed said safety factor. > > Law #20: Warranty and guarantee clauses are voided by payment of the > invoice. > > Law #21: The rule for engineers: "Change the data to fit the curve." > > > > > -- > Celebrating 10 years of bringing diversity to perversity! > Mahogany at: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mahogany_pleasures_of_darkness/ > > -- "If all the world's a stage and we are merely players, who the bloody hell wrote the script?" -- Charles E Grant http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQUxw9aUVik
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