1. I want the full words for "I'm the Quine That Does the Strip at
   Inverurie" (it goes to the tune of "I'm the Man That Broke the
   Bank at Monte Carlo".  This is for someone who wants to perform
   it at some point during Mod week this year.  As she has a 38G bra
   size this should be rather impressive.

2. Same lady wants a good version of "The Ball of Kirriemuir" (this does
   not mean one padded out to 200 verses with innumerable repetitive
   in-jokes off the Internet).  Anyone got a favourite that, so to speak,
   shoves the point home in a satisfying way without going on all night?

3. Does anybody know who wrote "The Pirnie-Taed Loonie" and WHY?
   (I've got the words, know what each of them individually means,
   but, um...).  Is it one of Hector Middleton's?  What sort of
   performance did it originally get?


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Jack Campin: 11 Third Street, Newtongrange, Midlothian EH22 4PU; 0131 6604760
<http://www.purr.demon.co.uk/jack>     *     food intolerance data & recipes,
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