Thomas Z. wrote: > Please, feel free to tell me what do you think about it!
This is a very promising flyer. Thanks for your efforts. There are some typographical and grammar mistakes that need to be fixed in order for the flyer to appear as professional as it needs to be. On the first page, "More Information and Downloads," it should be The Logos of Scribus's Friends instead of The Logo's of Scribus' Friends An error like that would put me off right away.<g> I'm not the only one, I assure you. I suggest putting more space between the units and less space between the first and second lines of a unit in the "More Information and Downloads" section. It should be Scribus's Friends at the top of the left column, not Scribus' Friends I wonder if you could include URLs for the friends. That would be helpful to the readers. There are several things that need fixing on page 2. I'll simply move through the text from the top. * The text directly under "Why Scribus?" does not tell us why we should use Scribus. I suggest you move the two lines at the bottom of column one to the top of column two. You have plenty of room to do this if you reduce the size of the pen in the bottom right somewhat. As it is now, "Why Scribus?" looks as if it's disconnected from the text describing why we should use Scribus. * There is no need to hyphenate Linux in "Open Source Desktop" etc. Just move the whole word to the next line. In any case the hyphenation is incorrect because the word is pronounced LIN-uks in English, not LIE-nuks. Hyphenated, the word is Lin-ux. But I wouldn't hyphenate it here. * It should be Mac OS X, not MacOSX. * Please use curly quotes! * The "Called by" sentence should be like this: Called by Newsforge "..one of the killer applications for Linux", No comma between Newsforge and the quote, no need to italicize the quote, and in American usage, the comma would go inside the closing quotation mark. Much of the rest of the English-speaking world would put the comma outside the quotation mark. The word spacing in that sentence is dreadful because of the difficulty of justifying within a narrow column. If you make the correction I suggested, the word spacing should be better. No matter what, though, big gaps between words is not something we want to see in a flyer promoting Scribus.<g> * "Scribus 1.2" We're beyond that now. Maybe leave the version number out? * "New features like separation previews, cross-platform python scripting, advanced PDF 1.4 support" should be New features like separation previews, cross-platform python scripting, and advanced PDF 1.4 support Note the "and." * I don't like to see hyphens after a two-letter syllable, as in in-terface. "Publishing" is incorrectly hyphenated. It should be publish-ing * "Other features include PDF Import, EPS import/export, Unicode text including right to left scripts such as Arabic and Hebrew." should be Other features include PDF Import, EPS import/export, and Unicode text including right-to-left scripts such as Arabic and Hebrew. Note the "and" and the hyphens. * Leave out the colon after "such as:" in the next sentence. No punctuation is needed there. * "The Scribus file format is XML based; open and completely documented." Don't use a semicolon! Use an em dash. Alternatively, use a colon (I don't like a colon there) or a comma. The em dash would be best, but there's a dash in the next sentence. Perhaps reword to "is based on XML, which is open and completely documented." * "There is an easy to use drag and drop scrapbook" should be There is an easy-to-use drag-and-drop scrapbook. * "Coming" in the first paragraph of the right column should be hyphenated as com-ing, not co-ming. * "userbase" should be user base I realize that some of these errors may be in the text that was copied from the source. Let's not repeat them in the flyer. I hope this isn't coming across as too critical, which is absolutely not my intention. Unfortunately, small errors take away from the credibility of what's being promoted. Using typewriter quotation marks is particularly damaging in a promotion for a desktop publishing program, as are incorrect hyphenation and bad word spacing in justified text. --Judy Miner Registered Linux User #397786
