You might be a redneck if......
1. Your front porch collapses and more than six dogs
are killed.
2. Your home has more miles on it than your car.
3. Fewer than half of your cars run.
4. Your family tree doesn't fork.
5. Your mother has been involved in a fistfight at a
high school sports event.
6. You've been too drunk to fish.
7. You had to remove a toothpick for wedding
pictures.
8. You have to scratch your sisters name out of the
message: "for a good time call . .", because you
feel guilty about putting it there...
9. If the fifth grade is referred to as "your senior
year,"
10. You gene pool doesn't have a "deep end"
11. Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart cause
there is a law against it.
12. You've been on TV more than 5 times describing
the sound of a tornado.
13. You have spent more on your pickup truck than on
your education.
14. Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze
into sporting events.
15. You come home from the garbage dump with more
than you went with.
16. You look upon a family reunion as a chance to
meet `Ms. Right'
17. Dolly Parton reminds you of the `Grand Tetons'.
(of course this is a very sophisticated redneck
joke... if you laughed...you must be a redneck,
only they will get this one.)
18. You dated your daddy's current wife in high
school.
19. Ya celebrate groundhog day (cause ya believe in
it!!)
20. You just bought an 8-track player to put in your
car.
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