Yes folks, you read it here first. As Ansigod put on his web page,
"stuff's a-brewing here in Seattle". A clear indicator that the new label
that SDRE has signed on with is none other than coffee powerhouse
Starbucks - yes that's right, Starbucks.
Starbucks Inc. has long been looking to expand from the niche market of
coffee products. The company, which originated in Seattle, was looking
for something that would keep thier roots close to home. The seattle
grunge explosion first piqued thier interest in marketing a band.
"Nirvana was, of course, our first choice", said Kathy Bean, new director
of Starbucks record label. "Unfortunately, soon after we had some of our
product delivered to Mr. Cobain, he died. Some say it was the coffee.
Some say it was a gun. Courtney Love's father says she drinks decaf. Who
really knows?" All that is known is that the Cobain incident put the
plans on the back burner for a while. "With Sunny Day," explains Bean,
"we feel we have another band, and another 'in thing', emo, to ride to
prosperity. I hear all the teenagers like that. My focus group said so.
We're even experimenting with having our employees wearing toques instead
of hats, you know, like they did back in grunge days!"
Promotional crossovers are already on the drawing board.
"Of course, Starbucks will be *THE* exclusive drink of SDRE while they are
on the road. We will be setting up booths in the concert halls when they
are on the road", says Bean. But that's not all that's planned. "We're
in the process of renaming many of our hot products after the members of
Sunny Day," continues Bean. "Dan's Decaffinated, Enigk's Expresso, Joe's
cuppa Joe, and for those who want to brew Starbucks in thier own home, we
have Goldsmith's Grinder for use with Starbucks coffee bean flavours!
"Musically, our stores will be undergoing a transformation. From now on
we will only play Sunny Day and other hip emo acts like Promise Ring and
Get Up Kids. But only later Sunny Day, not thier earlier harder stuff.
Or other hard emo acts like Cursive. We don't want to alienate our
customers. But maybe", says Bean with a wink, "we will play Korn if we
get enough requests. You know, for the youngsters!"
You heard it here first!
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* "The coast is clear!
Lance Ferris *
[EMAIL PROTECTED] * (Tides rush in,
Psychology * pull us farther undertow)
McMaster University * - Cursive
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