Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
great thought subramani sir. On 2/1/14, jignesh thakur jigneshthaku...@gmail.com wrote: yes romance has nothing to do with disability. but points of sucharu sir and ishita madam are also logical. On 1/31/14, Subramani L lsubramani.v...@gmail.com wrote: Dear Ms. Preeti and others: While it is nice and fine to have a successful married life, factors such as what is the extent of an individual's contribution to the relationship, how far one could make the partnership work etc are important. Relationships do not take off or completely break down when we as partners fail to interest the other person any longer or, possibly don't try to show how interesting we can be. Today's boys and girls are intellectually so well advanced that compatibility at the mind level is equally important than physical attraction or disability or lack of same. Having seen the able-disabled combination a bit myself and had a few burns, I can tell you that it makes two to tango in a relationship. If someone calls you blind, then turn off the light and challenge the other person to deal with darkness. Demand respect if it is not given, at the same time work hard to deserve respect. This works with all kinds of relationship, especially in able-disabled romantic entanglement. The problem is we always feel grateful to an able bodied partner and will compromise our self respect to the extent that they consider us as push overs. This is not to question any well functioning relationships, but this is quite a factor in malfunctioning romantic entanglements. In short, if you are aiming to romantically involved with someone, ensure there are clear lines drawn so that there is space for both. Ok. I hand over the comb which I acquired probably too late having lost my hair (smily). Subramani On 1/30/14, Preeti Monga preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in wrote: You have to work towards making your own life a success storyl. It is hard work and still is hard work! But it always pays! Life is a compromise if you make it, and there are people who are living life on their own terms! And all this is our own choice and how we think. Remember thoughts always become things! Whatever you want to believe, will be your truth and you will find various examples to prove the same. So why not think of finding good life partners? Instead of looking for disabled and not disabled spouces Life will always become what you make of it. Preeti Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training -Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting - Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of ishita kapoor Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 3:42 PM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? madam you are right. But at the same time I can present many examples from different mailing lists supporting my point of view. My simple belief is generally a non disable person marries a disable person just because he or she doesn't get able bodied life partner. Or to get extra family income. I admit that there are few success stories like yours. But most marriages between disable and non disable are simply marriage of compromise from both the side. On 1/30/14, Preeti Monga preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in wrote: Dear Ishita, and also Sucharu Interestingly how do we know equal and not equal? No one person in the world is equal to anyone! So what do we do? And no one must force non disabled people to marry disabled persons. And how do you know that all non disabled people are good and will end up being good husbands? Or wives for that matter! The idea is to find a life partner who is suitable to you and with whom you wish to be friends forever! I married twice, and both times to non disabled men. My first husband was perfectly useless and horrible! I just simply left him and came back to my parents and and the second time, my husband is fantastic! So it is who you marry, Disability is by the way! Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training -Motivation; Stress Management;
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Nice read thank you for sharing Two of you. What I find noteworthy in this piece 1 Written by someone who has lived two lives, sighted and blind both Which is reflected in the piece. 2. What caught my attention the most block quote I have a smacking profile as far as the tick marks go: I have three degrees, a 'good' family background, and a ton of interesting hobbies and talents. But what all the interested callers had failed to notice was my disability. block quote end This is the reality which is expressed by someone who hails from fairly middle-class background. So one can imagine majority of persons with disabilities who relatively belong to modest background striving for subsistence are very sceptical when it comes to dating with someone who is unlike them. Romance has nothing to do with disability In fact it is innate desire which is inherent in all species; Only ways vary. On 1/29/14, Shiv shivrah...@gmail.com wrote: Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romance-055837779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak. Clumsy first dates. Matrimonial sites. Studying for three degrees. Salsa classes. The coming-of-age story of a young woman who began losing her eyesight at 15. By Nidhi Goyal | Grist Media - 6 hours ago The wheelchair Kamasutra: Image courtesy Streetsie.com as seen on sexualityanddisability.orgLike most Indian urban teenage girls, my love life revolved around the stars of Bollywood. I had countless celebrity crushes growing up. The one I remember the most was Abhishek Bachchan, who I was 100 percent sure I was going to marry. When I was an undergraduate student working towards my B.Com Degree at Narsee Monjee College of Commerce and Economics in my hometown of Mumbai, it turned out that college was only five minutes away from Abhishek's house. Which meant, of course, that passing by his house became a morning ritual for me and another Bachchan-crazy friend of mine. In the way that some people go to temples, we went to Jalsa - abode of the Bachchans - and pestered the security personnel to tell us the timing of his coming and goings. To the dismay of the guards, we once even followed his car. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative eye disorder. By the time I was in college and my love for Abhishek was in full swing, so was the loss of my eyesight. As I dropped off cards on his birthday and wrote him love poems, my ability to see was steadily declining. Of course, this made little difference to my love for Abhishek, who I had only managed to speak to about twice: instances where all I could splutter out was a request for an autograph. But when it came to the less tongue-tied, non-celebrity crushes on classmates and friends, my eyesight began to make all the difference. The writer Nidhi Goyal. Photo credit: Nidhi Goyal Teenage crushes are, by and large, a cause of anxiety. You spend days pondering over what to wear so he notices you, how you can stop him from spotting that new splotch of acne on your face, and why oh why is he always talking to the girl with that L'Oreal-ad-type hair? For me, it was a wholly different ball game. When you can't see, all social interactions become more difficult. Imagine trying to distinguish between the one hundred different voices of your classmates. Of never fully knowing whether someone is smiling at you or not. Of not realising you are standing next to the boy of your dreams. Until I lost my eyesight, I never realised just how many aspects of romance begin with vision. You look at someone, you make eye contact, and - as the story goes - sparks begin to fly. I, however, needed to discover new ways to make sparks. As a teenager, it was so frustrating for me to listen to a guy with a nice voice and not know what his face looked like. Was he looking at me? How was he looking at me? I constantly had an added layer of anxiety when I was trying to navigate my attractions and crushes. As a sighted person (what people who are visually impaired call people who have their sight), for example, if you notice the object of your affection standing at one end of the hallway, you can always find an excuse to stroll past them. But I was missing out on all these small opportunities; small opportunities that eventually made a big difference. Thankfully, I had a group of fantastic girl friends who were determined to get my sparks up and sparking! They would make an effort to guide me in the direction of my latest crush (both with and without telling me beforehand), and then when we approached him they would tap me and say, 'Hey Nidhi, isn't that your friend?' By this time, most people knew I had almost completely lost my sight, and the guy would be compelled to acknowledge my presence. I always wondered how much of that recognition was desire and how much was
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Hi all , I agree that romance has nothing to do with disability.but in our society where children are more taken as security for old age ,even to bring a children up is taken more a responsibility rather than an experience to enjoy.this is but natural in our still developing society.in reality ,even the complexion of a girl can topple the potentiality of her to find a good match.the whole of the cosmetic industry is based on this fact.here well being confines to only physical and materialistic ones,the emotional and spiritual facetsare still the concepts unknown to the mass... -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of avinash shahi Sent: Friday, January 31, 2014 1:05 AM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Nice read thank you for sharing Two of you. What I find noteworthy in this piece 1 Written by someone who has lived two lives, sighted and blind both Which is reflected in the piece. 2. What caught my attention the most block quote I have a smacking profile as far as the tick marks go: I have three degrees, a 'good' family background, and a ton of interesting hobbies and talents. But what all the interested callers had failed to notice was my disability. block quote end This is the reality which is expressed by someone who hails from fairly middle-class background. So one can imagine majority of persons with disabilities who relatively belong to modest background striving for subsistence are very sceptical when it comes to dating with someone who is unlike them. Romance has nothing to do with disability In fact it is innate desire which is inherent in all species; Only ways vary. On 1/29/14, Shiv shivrah...@gmail.com wrote: Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romanc e-055837779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak. Clumsy first dates. Matrimonial sites. Studying for three degrees. Salsa classes. The coming-of-age story of a young woman who began losing her eyesight at 15. By Nidhi Goyal | Grist Media - 6 hours ago The wheelchair Kamasutra: Image courtesy Streetsie.com as seen on sexualityanddisability.orgLike most Indian urban teenage girls, my love life revolved around the stars of Bollywood. I had countless celebrity crushes growing up. The one I remember the most was Abhishek Bachchan, who I was 100 percent sure I was going to marry. When I was an undergraduate student working towards my B.Com Degree at Narsee Monjee College of Commerce and Economics in my hometown of Mumbai, it turned out that college was only five minutes away from Abhishek's house. Which meant, of course, that passing by his house became a morning ritual for me and another Bachchan-crazy friend of mine. In the way that some people go to temples, we went to Jalsa - abode of the Bachchans - and pestered the security personnel to tell us the timing of his coming and goings. To the dismay of the guards, we once even followed his car. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative eye disorder. By the time I was in college and my love for Abhishek was in full swing, so was the loss of my eyesight. As I dropped off cards on his birthday and wrote him love poems, my ability to see was steadily declining. Of course, this made little difference to my love for Abhishek, who I had only managed to speak to about twice: instances where all I could splutter out was a request for an autograph. But when it came to the less tongue-tied, non-celebrity crushes on classmates and friends, my eyesight began to make all the difference. The writer Nidhi Goyal. Photo credit: Nidhi Goyal Teenage crushes are, by and large, a cause of anxiety. You spend days pondering over what to wear so he notices you, how you can stop him from spotting that new splotch of acne on your face, and why oh why is he always talking to the girl with that L'Oreal-ad-type hair? For me, it was a wholly different ball game. When you can't see, all social interactions become more difficult. Imagine trying to distinguish between the one hundred different voices of your classmates. Of never fully knowing whether someone is smiling at you or not. Of not realising you are standing next to the boy of your dreams. Until I lost my eyesight, I never realised just how many aspects of romance begin with vision. You look at someone, you make eye contact, and - as the story goes - sparks begin to fly. I, however, needed to discover new ways to make sparks. As a teenager, it was so frustrating for me to listen to a guy with a nice voice and not know what his face looked like. Was he looking at me? How was he looking at me? I constantly had an added layer of anxiety
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
You are right Sucharu. We as a society are racial, obsessed with outer beauty and social-economic status. We all are commodities in the Indian conventional marriage market where visible physical denomenators are determinant factors. On 1/31/14, Sucharu Gupta sucharugupta1...@gmail.com wrote: Hi all , I agree that romance has nothing to do with disability.but in our society where children are more taken as security for old age ,even to bring a children up is taken more a responsibility rather than an experience to enjoy.this is but natural in our still developing society.in reality ,even the complexion of a girl can topple the potentiality of her to find a good match.the whole of the cosmetic industry is based on this fact.here well being confines to only physical and materialistic ones,the emotional and spiritual facetsare still the concepts unknown to the mass... -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of avinash shahi Sent: Friday, January 31, 2014 1:05 AM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Nice read thank you for sharing Two of you. What I find noteworthy in this piece 1 Written by someone who has lived two lives, sighted and blind both Which is reflected in the piece. 2. What caught my attention the most block quote I have a smacking profile as far as the tick marks go: I have three degrees, a 'good' family background, and a ton of interesting hobbies and talents. But what all the interested callers had failed to notice was my disability. block quote end This is the reality which is expressed by someone who hails from fairly middle-class background. So one can imagine majority of persons with disabilities who relatively belong to modest background striving for subsistence are very sceptical when it comes to dating with someone who is unlike them. Romance has nothing to do with disability In fact it is innate desire which is inherent in all species; Only ways vary. On 1/29/14, Shiv shivrah...@gmail.com wrote: Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romanc e-055837779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak. Clumsy first dates. Matrimonial sites. Studying for three degrees. Salsa classes. The coming-of-age story of a young woman who began losing her eyesight at 15. By Nidhi Goyal | Grist Media - 6 hours ago The wheelchair Kamasutra: Image courtesy Streetsie.com as seen on sexualityanddisability.orgLike most Indian urban teenage girls, my love life revolved around the stars of Bollywood. I had countless celebrity crushes growing up. The one I remember the most was Abhishek Bachchan, who I was 100 percent sure I was going to marry. When I was an undergraduate student working towards my B.Com Degree at Narsee Monjee College of Commerce and Economics in my hometown of Mumbai, it turned out that college was only five minutes away from Abhishek's house. Which meant, of course, that passing by his house became a morning ritual for me and another Bachchan-crazy friend of mine. In the way that some people go to temples, we went to Jalsa - abode of the Bachchans - and pestered the security personnel to tell us the timing of his coming and goings. To the dismay of the guards, we once even followed his car. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative eye disorder. By the time I was in college and my love for Abhishek was in full swing, so was the loss of my eyesight. As I dropped off cards on his birthday and wrote him love poems, my ability to see was steadily declining. Of course, this made little difference to my love for Abhishek, who I had only managed to speak to about twice: instances where all I could splutter out was a request for an autograph. But when it came to the less tongue-tied, non-celebrity crushes on classmates and friends, my eyesight began to make all the difference. The writer Nidhi Goyal. Photo credit: Nidhi Goyal Teenage crushes are, by and large, a cause of anxiety. You spend days pondering over what to wear so he notices you, how you can stop him from spotting that new splotch of acne on your face, and why oh why is he always talking to the girl with that L'Oreal-ad-type hair? For me, it was a wholly different ball game. When you can't see, all social interactions become more difficult. Imagine trying to distinguish between the one hundred different voices of your classmates. Of never fully knowing whether someone is smiling at you or not. Of not realising you are standing next to the boy of your dreams. Until I lost my eyesight, I never realised just how many aspects of romance begin with vision. You look at someone, you make eye contact, and - as the story goes
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Dear Ms. Preeti and others: While it is nice and fine to have a successful married life, factors such as what is the extent of an individual's contribution to the relationship, how far one could make the partnership work etc are important. Relationships do not take off or completely break down when we as partners fail to interest the other person any longer or, possibly don't try to show how interesting we can be. Today's boys and girls are intellectually so well advanced that compatibility at the mind level is equally important than physical attraction or disability or lack of same. Having seen the able-disabled combination a bit myself and had a few burns, I can tell you that it makes two to tango in a relationship. If someone calls you blind, then turn off the light and challenge the other person to deal with darkness. Demand respect if it is not given, at the same time work hard to deserve respect. This works with all kinds of relationship, especially in able-disabled romantic entanglement. The problem is we always feel grateful to an able bodied partner and will compromise our self respect to the extent that they consider us as push overs. This is not to question any well functioning relationships, but this is quite a factor in malfunctioning romantic entanglements. In short, if you are aiming to romantically involved with someone, ensure there are clear lines drawn so that there is space for both. Ok. I hand over the comb which I acquired probably too late having lost my hair (smily). Subramani On 1/30/14, Preeti Monga preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in wrote: You have to work towards making your own life a success storyl. It is hard work and still is hard work! But it always pays! Life is a compromise if you make it, and there are people who are living life on their own terms! And all this is our own choice and how we think. Remember thoughts always become things! Whatever you want to believe, will be your truth and you will find various examples to prove the same. So why not think of finding good life partners? Instead of looking for disabled and not disabled spouces Life will always become what you make of it. Preeti Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training -Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting - Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of ishita kapoor Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 3:42 PM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? madam you are right. But at the same time I can present many examples from different mailing lists supporting my point of view. My simple belief is generally a non disable person marries a disable person just because he or she doesn't get able bodied life partner. Or to get extra family income. I admit that there are few success stories like yours. But most marriages between disable and non disable are simply marriage of compromise from both the side. On 1/30/14, Preeti Monga preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in wrote: Dear Ishita, and also Sucharu Interestingly how do we know equal and not equal? No one person in the world is equal to anyone! So what do we do? And no one must force non disabled people to marry disabled persons. And how do you know that all non disabled people are good and will end up being good husbands? Or wives for that matter! The idea is to find a life partner who is suitable to you and with whom you wish to be friends forever! I married twice, and both times to non disabled men. My first husband was perfectly useless and horrible! I just simply left him and came back to my parents and and the second time, my husband is fantastic! So it is who you marry, Disability is by the way! Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training -Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting - Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
yes romance has nothing to do with disability. but points of sucharu sir and ishita madam are also logical. On 1/31/14, Subramani L lsubramani.v...@gmail.com wrote: Dear Ms. Preeti and others: While it is nice and fine to have a successful married life, factors such as what is the extent of an individual's contribution to the relationship, how far one could make the partnership work etc are important. Relationships do not take off or completely break down when we as partners fail to interest the other person any longer or, possibly don't try to show how interesting we can be. Today's boys and girls are intellectually so well advanced that compatibility at the mind level is equally important than physical attraction or disability or lack of same. Having seen the able-disabled combination a bit myself and had a few burns, I can tell you that it makes two to tango in a relationship. If someone calls you blind, then turn off the light and challenge the other person to deal with darkness. Demand respect if it is not given, at the same time work hard to deserve respect. This works with all kinds of relationship, especially in able-disabled romantic entanglement. The problem is we always feel grateful to an able bodied partner and will compromise our self respect to the extent that they consider us as push overs. This is not to question any well functioning relationships, but this is quite a factor in malfunctioning romantic entanglements. In short, if you are aiming to romantically involved with someone, ensure there are clear lines drawn so that there is space for both. Ok. I hand over the comb which I acquired probably too late having lost my hair (smily). Subramani On 1/30/14, Preeti Monga preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in wrote: You have to work towards making your own life a success storyl. It is hard work and still is hard work! But it always pays! Life is a compromise if you make it, and there are people who are living life on their own terms! And all this is our own choice and how we think. Remember thoughts always become things! Whatever you want to believe, will be your truth and you will find various examples to prove the same. So why not think of finding good life partners? Instead of looking for disabled and not disabled spouces Life will always become what you make of it. Preeti Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training -Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting - Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of ishita kapoor Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 3:42 PM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? madam you are right. But at the same time I can present many examples from different mailing lists supporting my point of view. My simple belief is generally a non disable person marries a disable person just because he or she doesn't get able bodied life partner. Or to get extra family income. I admit that there are few success stories like yours. But most marriages between disable and non disable are simply marriage of compromise from both the side. On 1/30/14, Preeti Monga preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in wrote: Dear Ishita, and also Sucharu Interestingly how do we know equal and not equal? No one person in the world is equal to anyone! So what do we do? And no one must force non disabled people to marry disabled persons. And how do you know that all non disabled people are good and will end up being good husbands? Or wives for that matter! The idea is to find a life partner who is suitable to you and with whom you wish to be friends forever! I married twice, and both times to non disabled men. My first husband was perfectly useless and horrible! I just simply left him and came back to my parents and and the second time, my husband is fantastic! So it is who you marry, Disability is by the way! Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training -Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting - Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory;
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Following is surely a good red article by Nidhi. I am just thinking that while loving a person does any 1 looks disability? Isn’t it first instance person would love the individuality? I agree then may be while thinking of settling in life surely 1 thinks towards his/her own comforts towards matching up with disability or constrains. But I think love is beyond all this? Regards Time to meet up again! Register for AccessIndia Convention 2014: http://accessindia.org.in/harish/convention.htm Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on: http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Dear Ishita, and also Sucharu Interestingly how do we know equal and not equal? No one person in the world is equal to anyone! So what do we do? And no one must force non disabled people to marry disabled persons. And how do you know that all non disabled people are good and will end up being good husbands? Or wives for that matter! The idea is to find a life partner who is suitable to you and with whom you wish to be friends forever! I married twice, and both times to non disabled men. My first husband was perfectly useless and horrible! I just simply left him and came back to my parents and and the second time, my husband is fantastic! So it is who you marry, Disability is by the way! Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of ishita kapoor Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 1:16 PM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Very thought provoking article. Though I strongly believe that we can't rather shouldn't force able bodied person to accept us. When I was sighted I never fancied a blind boy. Now how can I demand from sighted person to accept me? Love and marriage happens in equal group. Romance between disable and non disable is only poetic idea in my view. How many blind parents are there on the list? Do they allow their sighted son to marry a disable girl? The answer is obviously no. By reading many mails on different lists i have learnt that if you are earning well then any able bodied girl or boy will accept you as a security. On 1/30/14, Sucharu Gupta sucharugupta1...@gmail.com wrote: Hi friends, I would like to share my opinion about the article without hurting the feelings of anybody .it is just what I feel: in humans the relationships bloom between the equal persons .this is quite natural.the equality is measured by various parameters like appearance and personality,,socioeconomic factors,,family background and many more.this is the way our brain works irrespective of being abled or disabled.even in animals some factors determine the potentiality of one to find the mating partners.isn't it quite natural and not learntbehaviour? I never had a crush on any differently abled man when I was sighted so I have no right to take this social behaviour as prejudice,. Moreover in the depths of our heart we ourselves feel a abled bodied person more desirable. We should not sympathize ourselves and live in the ground realities.regards sucharu -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Himanshu Sahu Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 7:08 AM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? A tremendous piece of writing unravelling a variety of shades of emotions and experiences which die in the hearts of many differently ables, unspoken! This is what makes me always appriciate Nidhi. Her livelyness, sensitivity and perception of disability really brings a cheer while interacting with her... On 1/29/14, Shiv shivrah...@gmail.com wrote: Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romanc e-055837779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak. Clumsy first dates. Matrimonial sites. Studying for three degrees. Salsa classes. The coming-of-age story of a young woman who began losing her eyesight at 15. By Nidhi Goyal | Grist Media - 6 hours ago The wheelchair Kamasutra: Image courtesy Streetsie.com as seen on sexualityanddisability.orgLike most Indian urban teenage girls, my love life revolved around the stars of Bollywood. I had countless celebrity crushes growing up. The one I remember the most was Abhishek Bachchan, who I was 100 percent sure I was going to marry. When I was an undergraduate student working towards my B.Com Degree at Narsee Monjee College of Commerce and Economics in my hometown of Mumbai, it turned out that college was only five minutes away from Abhishek's house. Which meant, of course, that passing by his house became a morning ritual for me and another
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Dear Preeti, thats exactly what I think.how society see towards sexuality of disabled should not matter to us.what we think makes the difference.but two persons get attracted towards each other due some reasons.so rather than having self pity and a complaining attitude we should concentrate on our strengths.moreover I personally am thankful to a number of abled people surrounding me who really make great efforts to make my life beautiful. should we not take out some time to think ifwe are playing fair behaving so -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Preeti Monga Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 1:11 AM To: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled.' Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Dear Ishita, and also Sucharu Interestingly how do we know equal and not equal? No one person in the world is equal to anyone! So what do we do? And no one must force non disabled people to marry disabled persons. And how do you know that all non disabled people are good and will end up being good husbands? Or wives for that matter! The idea is to find a life partner who is suitable to you and with whom you wish to be friends forever! I married twice, and both times to non disabled men. My first husband was perfectly useless and horrible! I just simply left him and came back to my parents and and the second time, my husband is fantastic! So it is who you marry, Disability is by the way! Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of ishita kapoor Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 1:16 PM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Very thought provoking article. Though I strongly believe that we can't rather shouldn't force able bodied person to accept us. When I was sighted I never fancied a blind boy. Now how can I demand from sighted person to accept me? Love and marriage happens in equal group. Romance between disable and non disable is only poetic idea in my view. How many blind parents are there on the list? Do they allow their sighted son to marry a disable girl? The answer is obviously no. By reading many mails on different lists i have learnt that if you are earning well then any able bodied girl or boy will accept you as a security. On 1/30/14, Sucharu Gupta sucharugupta1...@gmail.com wrote: Hi friends, I would like to share my opinion about the article without hurting the feelings of anybody .it is just what I feel: in humans the relationships bloom between the equal persons .this is quite natural.the equality is measured by various parameters like appearance and personality,,socioeconomic factors,,family background and many more.this is the way our brain works irrespective of being abled or disabled.even in animals some factors determine the potentiality of one to find the mating partners.isn't it quite natural and not learntbehaviour? I never had a crush on any differently abled man when I was sighted so I have no right to take this social behaviour as prejudice,. Moreover in the depths of our heart we ourselves feel a abled bodied person more desirable. We should not sympathize ourselves and live in the ground realities.regards sucharu -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Himanshu Sahu Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 7:08 AM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? A tremendous piece of writing unravelling a variety of shades of emotions and experiences which die in the hearts of many differently ables, unspoken! This is what makes me always appriciate Nidhi. Her livelyness, sensitivity and perception of disability really brings a cheer while interacting with her... On 1/29/14, Shiv shivrah...@gmail.com wrote: Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-roman c e-055837779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak.
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Yes, if there are non disabled people who are helping you to make things beautiful, then you too must be doing something to make their life beautiful as well? You get what you give. So why not start by giving love to each other starting from yourself and see how things will change. Dont confuse love with a cheating heart. Then you will only get the same back. Preeti Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Sucharu Gupta Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 3:41 PM To: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled.' Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Dear Preeti, thats exactly what I think.how society see towards sexuality of disabled should not matter to us.what we think makes the difference.but two persons get attracted towards each other due some reasons.so rather than having self pity and a complaining attitude we should concentrate on our strengths.moreover I personally am thankful to a number of abled people surrounding me who really make great efforts to make my life beautiful. should we not take out some time to think ifwe are playing fair behaving so -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Preeti Monga Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 1:11 AM To: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled.' Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Dear Ishita, and also Sucharu Interestingly how do we know equal and not equal? No one person in the world is equal to anyone! So what do we do? And no one must force non disabled people to marry disabled persons. And how do you know that all non disabled people are good and will end up being good husbands? Or wives for that matter! The idea is to find a life partner who is suitable to you and with whom you wish to be friends forever! I married twice, and both times to non disabled men. My first husband was perfectly useless and horrible! I just simply left him and came back to my parents and and the second time, my husband is fantastic! So it is who you marry, Disability is by the way! Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of ishita kapoor Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 1:16 PM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Very thought provoking article. Though I strongly believe that we can't rather shouldn't force able bodied person to accept us. When I was sighted I never fancied a blind boy. Now how can I demand from sighted person to accept me? Love and marriage happens in equal group. Romance between disable and non disable is only poetic idea in my view. How many blind parents are there on the list? Do they allow their sighted son to marry a disable girl? The answer is obviously no. By reading many mails on different lists i have learnt that if you are earning well then any able bodied girl or boy will accept you as a security. On 1/30/14, Sucharu Gupta sucharugupta1...@gmail.com wrote: Hi friends, I would like to share my opinion about the article without hurting the feelings of anybody .it is just what I feel: in humans the relationships bloom between the equal persons .this is quite natural.the equality is measured by various parameters like appearance and personality,,socioeconomic factors,,family background and many more.this is the way our brain works irrespective of being abled or disabled.even in animals some factors
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Hi friends, What all I want to suggest is that the world cannot be divided on the basis of being abled or disabled .moreover there are good and bad,sensitive or insensitive everyone coexists .we can't blame the whole society for what a small portion of ill valued individuals do.i find it necessary to write so much because if we want to sensitize the world towards ourselves we should also take our responsibilities.the disable youth should not have a feel of indifference towards their abled counterparts.frustrations do occur but the sighted world is not responsible for everything.if we learn to have cordial relations with them our efficiencies really go manifold.moreover what is bad about marrying a slum girl if we are so open.rre not we playing double standards. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Preeti Monga Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 2:48 AM To: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled.' Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Yes, if there are non disabled people who are helping you to make things beautiful, then you too must be doing something to make their life beautiful as well? You get what you give. So why not start by giving love to each other starting from yourself and see how things will change. Dont confuse love with a cheating heart. Then you will only get the same back. Preeti Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Sucharu Gupta Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 3:41 PM To: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled.' Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Dear Preeti, thats exactly what I think.how society see towards sexuality of disabled should not matter to us.what we think makes the difference.but two persons get attracted towards each other due some reasons.so rather than having self pity and a complaining attitude we should concentrate on our strengths.moreover I personally am thankful to a number of abled people surrounding me who really make great efforts to make my life beautiful. should we not take out some time to think ifwe are playing fair behaving so -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Preeti Monga Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 1:11 AM To: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled.' Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Dear Ishita, and also Sucharu Interestingly how do we know equal and not equal? No one person in the world is equal to anyone! So what do we do? And no one must force non disabled people to marry disabled persons. And how do you know that all non disabled people are good and will end up being good husbands? Or wives for that matter! The idea is to find a life partner who is suitable to you and with whom you wish to be friends forever! I married twice, and both times to non disabled men. My first husband was perfectly useless and horrible! I just simply left him and came back to my parents and and the second time, my husband is fantastic! So it is who you marry, Disability is by the way! Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of ishita kapoor Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 1:16 PM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Very thought provoking article. Though I strongly
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Taking responsibility for our condition is one of the most important things. No one is responsible for our own condition. It is only us ourselves. This is something we need to undetrstand before we can improve anything for ourselves. All the best. Preeti Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Sucharu Gupta Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 5:02 PM To: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled.' Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Hi friends, What all I want to suggest is that the world cannot be divided on the basis of being abled or disabled .moreover there are good and bad,sensitive or insensitive everyone coexists .we can't blame the whole society for what a small portion of ill valued individuals do.i find it necessary to write so much because if we want to sensitize the world towards ourselves we should also take our responsibilities.the disable youth should not have a feel of indifference towards their abled counterparts.frustrations do occur but the sighted world is not responsible for everything.if we learn to have cordial relations with them our efficiencies really go manifold.moreover what is bad about marrying a slum girl if we are so open.rre not we playing double standards. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Preeti Monga Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 2:48 AM To: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled.' Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Yes, if there are non disabled people who are helping you to make things beautiful, then you too must be doing something to make their life beautiful as well? You get what you give. So why not start by giving love to each other starting from yourself and see how things will change. Dont confuse love with a cheating heart. Then you will only get the same back. Preeti Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Sucharu Gupta Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 3:41 PM To: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled.' Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Dear Preeti, thats exactly what I think.how society see towards sexuality of disabled should not matter to us.what we think makes the difference.but two persons get attracted towards each other due some reasons.so rather than having self pity and a complaining attitude we should concentrate on our strengths.moreover I personally am thankful to a number of abled people surrounding me who really make great efforts to make my life beautiful. should we not take out some time to think ifwe are playing fair behaving so -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Preeti Monga Sent: Thursday, January 30, 2014 1:11 AM To: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled.' Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Dear Ishita, and also Sucharu Interestingly how do we know equal and not equal? No one person in the world is equal to anyone! So what do we do? And no one must force non disabled people to marry disabled persons. And how do you know that all non disabled people are good and will end up being good husbands? Or wives for that matter! The idea is to find a life partner who is suitable to you and with whom you wish to be friends forever! I married twice, and both times to non disabled men.
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
1 more major factor which plays very importantly in entire following topic is the attitude of (My child should get or deserve more then what he/she is looking for”) If you look at above statement very closely you would realize many a times parents does not wish to believe that disable candidate can also live his/her life as equally as it perhaps could be with non-disable partner. Infact most of the time, I have experience parents attitude itself needs to be changed. After all I am sure every 1 face problem in their life weather it is pair of disable or non-disable. Regards Time to meet up again! Register for AccessIndia Convention 2014: http://accessindia.org.in/harish/convention.htm Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on: http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Yes, attitude is all the problem. Everyone has problems. Just go for it and look for good friends. Someone you can be good friends with will be the best person you should think of marrying. Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training –Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting – Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Rajesh H Mehta Sent: Friday, January 31, 2014 11:47 AM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Cc: 'AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled.'; AccessIndia Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? 1 more major factor which plays very importantly in entire following topic is the attitude of (My child should get or deserve more then what he/she is looking for”) If you look at above statement very closely you would realize many a times parents does not wish to believe that disable candidate can also live his/her life as equally as it perhaps could be with non-disable partner. Infact most of the time, I have experience parents attitude itself needs to be changed. After all I am sure every 1 face problem in their life weather it is pair of disable or non-disable. Regards Time to meet up again! Register for AccessIndia Convention 2014: http://accessindia.org.in/harish/convention.htm Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on: http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list.. Time to meet up again! Register for AccessIndia Convention 2014: http://accessindia.org.in/harish/convention.htm Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on: http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..
[AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Guys I haven't ever seen such a best expression of thoughts and emotions. Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romance-055837779.html Regards -- Amar Jain. Website: www.amarjain.com Time to meet up again! Register for AccessIndia Convention 2014: http://accessindia.org.in/harish/convention.htm Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on: http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romance-055837779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak. Clumsy first dates. Matrimonial sites. Studying for three degrees. Salsa classes. The coming-of-age story of a young woman who began losing her eyesight at 15. By Nidhi Goyal | Grist Media - 6 hours ago The wheelchair Kamasutra: Image courtesy Streetsie.com as seen on sexualityanddisability.orgLike most Indian urban teenage girls, my love life revolved around the stars of Bollywood. I had countless celebrity crushes growing up. The one I remember the most was Abhishek Bachchan, who I was 100 percent sure I was going to marry. When I was an undergraduate student working towards my B.Com Degree at Narsee Monjee College of Commerce and Economics in my hometown of Mumbai, it turned out that college was only five minutes away from Abhishek's house. Which meant, of course, that passing by his house became a morning ritual for me and another Bachchan-crazy friend of mine. In the way that some people go to temples, we went to Jalsa - abode of the Bachchans - and pestered the security personnel to tell us the timing of his coming and goings. To the dismay of the guards, we once even followed his car. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative eye disorder. By the time I was in college and my love for Abhishek was in full swing, so was the loss of my eyesight. As I dropped off cards on his birthday and wrote him love poems, my ability to see was steadily declining. Of course, this made little difference to my love for Abhishek, who I had only managed to speak to about twice: instances where all I could splutter out was a request for an autograph. But when it came to the less tongue-tied, non-celebrity crushes on classmates and friends, my eyesight began to make all the difference. The writer Nidhi Goyal. Photo credit: Nidhi Goyal Teenage crushes are, by and large, a cause of anxiety. You spend days pondering over what to wear so he notices you, how you can stop him from spotting that new splotch of acne on your face, and why oh why is he always talking to the girl with that L'Oreal-ad-type hair? For me, it was a wholly different ball game. When you can't see, all social interactions become more difficult. Imagine trying to distinguish between the one hundred different voices of your classmates. Of never fully knowing whether someone is smiling at you or not. Of not realising you are standing next to the boy of your dreams. Until I lost my eyesight, I never realised just how many aspects of romance begin with vision. You look at someone, you make eye contact, and - as the story goes - sparks begin to fly. I, however, needed to discover new ways to make sparks. As a teenager, it was so frustrating for me to listen to a guy with a nice voice and not know what his face looked like. Was he looking at me? How was he looking at me? I constantly had an added layer of anxiety when I was trying to navigate my attractions and crushes. As a sighted person (what people who are visually impaired call people who have their sight), for example, if you notice the object of your affection standing at one end of the hallway, you can always find an excuse to stroll past them. But I was missing out on all these small opportunities; small opportunities that eventually made a big difference. Thankfully, I had a group of fantastic girl friends who were determined to get my sparks up and sparking! They would make an effort to guide me in the direction of my latest crush (both with and without telling me beforehand), and then when we approached him they would tap me and say, 'Hey Nidhi, isn't that your friend?' By this time, most people knew I had almost completely lost my sight, and the guy would be compelled to acknowledge my presence. I always wondered how much of that recognition was desire and how much was simply obligation. * * * The idea of people with disabilities as asexual beings who have no need for love, sex or romantic relationships is ridiculous. However, it is one that has a stronghold in most people's minds. As I grew into my 20s, the absurd anecdotes of me trying to bump into my crushes in college hallways developed into the more serious recognition that because I was blind, I was very rarely seen as a potential candidate for a relationship, or even a date. I remember a male friend of mine from a very conservative, traditional family, who was explicitly forbidden from inviting any of his women friends home. He told me on the phone one day that his mother had cooked a delicious vegetarian dish, and in response, I joked that I would love to come over and try it. He replied with, Yes, sure. You are always welcome. I was shocked, then I realised what had
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
A tremendous piece of writing unravelling a variety of shades of emotions and experiences which die in the hearts of many differently ables, unspoken! This is what makes me always appriciate Nidhi. Her livelyness, sensitivity and perception of disability really brings a cheer while interacting with her... On 1/29/14, Shiv shivrah...@gmail.com wrote: Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romance-055837779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak. Clumsy first dates. Matrimonial sites. Studying for three degrees. Salsa classes. The coming-of-age story of a young woman who began losing her eyesight at 15. By Nidhi Goyal | Grist Media - 6 hours ago The wheelchair Kamasutra: Image courtesy Streetsie.com as seen on sexualityanddisability.orgLike most Indian urban teenage girls, my love life revolved around the stars of Bollywood. I had countless celebrity crushes growing up. The one I remember the most was Abhishek Bachchan, who I was 100 percent sure I was going to marry. When I was an undergraduate student working towards my B.Com Degree at Narsee Monjee College of Commerce and Economics in my hometown of Mumbai, it turned out that college was only five minutes away from Abhishek's house. Which meant, of course, that passing by his house became a morning ritual for me and another Bachchan-crazy friend of mine. In the way that some people go to temples, we went to Jalsa - abode of the Bachchans - and pestered the security personnel to tell us the timing of his coming and goings. To the dismay of the guards, we once even followed his car. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative eye disorder. By the time I was in college and my love for Abhishek was in full swing, so was the loss of my eyesight. As I dropped off cards on his birthday and wrote him love poems, my ability to see was steadily declining. Of course, this made little difference to my love for Abhishek, who I had only managed to speak to about twice: instances where all I could splutter out was a request for an autograph. But when it came to the less tongue-tied, non-celebrity crushes on classmates and friends, my eyesight began to make all the difference. The writer Nidhi Goyal. Photo credit: Nidhi Goyal Teenage crushes are, by and large, a cause of anxiety. You spend days pondering over what to wear so he notices you, how you can stop him from spotting that new splotch of acne on your face, and why oh why is he always talking to the girl with that L'Oreal-ad-type hair? For me, it was a wholly different ball game. When you can't see, all social interactions become more difficult. Imagine trying to distinguish between the one hundred different voices of your classmates. Of never fully knowing whether someone is smiling at you or not. Of not realising you are standing next to the boy of your dreams. Until I lost my eyesight, I never realised just how many aspects of romance begin with vision. You look at someone, you make eye contact, and - as the story goes - sparks begin to fly. I, however, needed to discover new ways to make sparks. As a teenager, it was so frustrating for me to listen to a guy with a nice voice and not know what his face looked like. Was he looking at me? How was he looking at me? I constantly had an added layer of anxiety when I was trying to navigate my attractions and crushes. As a sighted person (what people who are visually impaired call people who have their sight), for example, if you notice the object of your affection standing at one end of the hallway, you can always find an excuse to stroll past them. But I was missing out on all these small opportunities; small opportunities that eventually made a big difference. Thankfully, I had a group of fantastic girl friends who were determined to get my sparks up and sparking! They would make an effort to guide me in the direction of my latest crush (both with and without telling me beforehand), and then when we approached him they would tap me and say, 'Hey Nidhi, isn't that your friend?' By this time, most people knew I had almost completely lost my sight, and the guy would be compelled to acknowledge my presence. I always wondered how much of that recognition was desire and how much was simply obligation. * * * The idea of people with disabilities as asexual beings who have no need for love, sex or romantic relationships is ridiculous. However, it is one that has a stronghold in most people's minds. As I grew into my 20s, the absurd anecdotes of me trying to bump into my crushes in college hallways developed into the more serious recognition that because I was blind, I was very rarely seen as a potential candidate for a relationship, or even a date. I remember a male friend of mine from a very conservative, traditional family, who was explicitly
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Hi, a lady friend wants to converse with Nidhi, phone number or email Id anything will do. Can anyone provide the contact please? Best regards, Sandeep At 08:37 PM 1/29/2014, you wrote: A tremendous piece of writing unravelling a variety of shades of emotions and experiences which die in the hearts of many differently ables, unspoken! This is what makes me always appriciate Nidhi. Her livelyness, sensitivity and perception of disability really brings a cheer while interacting with her... On 1/29/14, Shiv shivrah...@gmail.com wrote: Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romance-055837779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak. Clumsy first dates. Matrimonial sites. Studying for three degrees. Salsa classes. The coming-of-age story of a young woman who began losing her eyesight at 15. By Nidhi Goyal | Grist Media - 6 hours ago The wheelchair Kamasutra: Image courtesy Streetsie.com as seen on sexualityanddisability.orgLike most Indian urban teenage girls, my love life revolved around the stars of Bollywood. I had countless celebrity crushes growing up. The one I remember the most was Abhishek Bachchan, who I was 100 percent sure I was going to marry. When I was an undergraduate student working towards my B.Com Degree at Narsee Monjee College of Commerce and Economics in my hometown of Mumbai, it turned out that college was only five minutes away from Abhishek's house. Which meant, of course, that passing by his house became a morning ritual for me and another Bachchan-crazy friend of mine. In the way that some people go to temples, we went to Jalsa - abode of the Bachchans - and pestered the security personnel to tell us the timing of his coming and goings. To the dismay of the guards, we once even followed his car. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative eye disorder. By the time I was in college and my love for Abhishek was in full swing, so was the loss of my eyesight. As I dropped off cards on his birthday and wrote him love poems, my ability to see was steadily declining. Of course, this made little difference to my love for Abhishek, who I had only managed to speak to about twice: instances where all I could splutter out was a request for an autograph. But when it came to the less tongue-tied, non-celebrity crushes on classmates and friends, my eyesight began to make all the difference. The writer Nidhi Goyal. Photo credit: Nidhi Goyal Teenage crushes are, by and large, a cause of anxiety. You spend days pondering over what to wear so he notices you, how you can stop him from spotting that new splotch of acne on your face, and why oh why is he always talking to the girl with that L'Oreal-ad-type hair? For me, it was a wholly different ball game. When you can't see, all social interactions become more difficult. Imagine trying to distinguish between the one hundred different voices of your classmates. Of never fully knowing whether someone is smiling at you or not. Of not realising you are standing next to the boy of your dreams. Until I lost my eyesight, I never realised just how many aspects of romance begin with vision. You look at someone, you make eye contact, and - as the story goes - sparks begin to fly. I, however, needed to discover new ways to make sparks. As a teenager, it was so frustrating for me to listen to a guy with a nice voice and not know what his face looked like. Was he looking at me? How was he looking at me? I constantly had an added layer of anxiety when I was trying to navigate my attractions and crushes. As a sighted person (what people who are visually impaired call people who have their sight), for example, if you notice the object of your affection standing at one end of the hallway, you can always find an excuse to stroll past them. But I was missing out on all these small opportunities; small opportunities that eventually made a big difference. Thankfully, I had a group of fantastic girl friends who were determined to get my sparks up and sparking! They would make an effort to guide me in the direction of my latest crush (both with and without telling me beforehand), and then when we approached him they would tap me and say, 'Hey Nidhi, isn't that your friend?' By this time, most people knew I had almost completely lost my sight, and the guy would be compelled to acknowledge my presence. I always wondered how much of that recognition was desire and how much was simply obligation. * * * The idea of people with disabilities as asexual beings who have no need for love, sex or romantic relationships is ridiculous. However, it is one that has a stronghold in most people's minds. As I grew into my 20s, the absurd anecdotes of me trying to bump into my crushes in college hallways developed into the more serious recognition
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
hello, even i have been looking forward to contact people associated with point of view since long but the number listed on their site seems not functional. i have been trying their number since last year. so if anyone has the contact information, please share with me. thanks, On 1/29/14, Sandeep Singh sandeepsingh...@gmail.com wrote: Hi, a lady friend wants to converse with Nidhi, phone number or email Id anything will do. Can anyone provide the contact please? Best regards, Sandeep At 08:37 PM 1/29/2014, you wrote: A tremendous piece of writing unravelling a variety of shades of emotions and experiences which die in the hearts of many differently ables, unspoken! This is what makes me always appriciate Nidhi. Her livelyness, sensitivity and perception of disability really brings a cheer while interacting with her... On 1/29/14, Shiv shivrah...@gmail.com wrote: Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romance-055837779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak. Clumsy first dates. Matrimonial sites. Studying for three degrees. Salsa classes. The coming-of-age story of a young woman who began losing her eyesight at 15. By Nidhi Goyal | Grist Media - 6 hours ago The wheelchair Kamasutra: Image courtesy Streetsie.com as seen on sexualityanddisability.orgLike most Indian urban teenage girls, my love life revolved around the stars of Bollywood. I had countless celebrity crushes growing up. The one I remember the most was Abhishek Bachchan, who I was 100 percent sure I was going to marry. When I was an undergraduate student working towards my B.Com Degree at Narsee Monjee College of Commerce and Economics in my hometown of Mumbai, it turned out that college was only five minutes away from Abhishek's house. Which meant, of course, that passing by his house became a morning ritual for me and another Bachchan-crazy friend of mine. In the way that some people go to temples, we went to Jalsa - abode of the Bachchans - and pestered the security personnel to tell us the timing of his coming and goings. To the dismay of the guards, we once even followed his car. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative eye disorder. By the time I was in college and my love for Abhishek was in full swing, so was the loss of my eyesight. As I dropped off cards on his birthday and wrote him love poems, my ability to see was steadily declining. Of course, this made little difference to my love for Abhishek, who I had only managed to speak to about twice: instances where all I could splutter out was a request for an autograph. But when it came to the less tongue-tied, non-celebrity crushes on classmates and friends, my eyesight began to make all the difference. The writer Nidhi Goyal. Photo credit: Nidhi Goyal Teenage crushes are, by and large, a cause of anxiety. You spend days pondering over what to wear so he notices you, how you can stop him from spotting that new splotch of acne on your face, and why oh why is he always talking to the girl with that L'Oreal-ad-type hair? For me, it was a wholly different ball game. When you can't see, all social interactions become more difficult. Imagine trying to distinguish between the one hundred different voices of your classmates. Of never fully knowing whether someone is smiling at you or not. Of not realising you are standing next to the boy of your dreams. Until I lost my eyesight, I never realised just how many aspects of romance begin with vision. You look at someone, you make eye contact, and - as the story goes - sparks begin to fly. I, however, needed to discover new ways to make sparks. As a teenager, it was so frustrating for me to listen to a guy with a nice voice and not know what his face looked like. Was he looking at me? How was he looking at me? I constantly had an added layer of anxiety when I was trying to navigate my attractions and crushes. As a sighted person (what people who are visually impaired call people who have their sight), for example, if you notice the object of your affection standing at one end of the hallway, you can always find an excuse to stroll past them. But I was missing out on all these small opportunities; small opportunities that eventually made a big difference. Thankfully, I had a group of fantastic girl friends who were determined to get my sparks up and sparking! They would make an effort to guide me in the direction of my latest crush (both with and without telling me beforehand), and then when we approached him they would tap me and say, 'Hey Nidhi, isn't that your friend?' By this time, most people knew I had almost completely lost my sight, and the guy would be compelled to acknowledge my
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Very very nise, was great read Sent from my iPhone On 29.01.2014, at 18:38, Shiv shivrah...@gmail.com wrote: Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romance-055837779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak. Clumsy first dates. Matrimonial sites. Studying for three degrees. Salsa classes. The coming-of-age story of a young woman who began losing her eyesight at 15. By Nidhi Goyal | Grist Media - 6 hours ago The wheelchair Kamasutra: Image courtesy Streetsie.com as seen on sexualityanddisability.orgLike most Indian urban teenage girls, my love life revolved around the stars of Bollywood. I had countless celebrity crushes growing up. The one I remember the most was Abhishek Bachchan, who I was 100 percent sure I was going to marry. When I was an undergraduate student working towards my B.Com Degree at Narsee Monjee College of Commerce and Economics in my hometown of Mumbai, it turned out that college was only five minutes away from Abhishek's house. Which meant, of course, that passing by his house became a morning ritual for me and another Bachchan-crazy friend of mine. In the way that some people go to temples, we went to Jalsa - abode of the Bachchans - and pestered the security personnel to tell us the timing of his coming and goings. To the dismay of the guards, we once even followed his car. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative eye disorder. By the time I was in college and my love for Abhishek was in full swing, so was the loss of my eyesight. As I dropped off cards on his birthday and wrote him love poems, my ability to see was steadily declining. Of course, this made little difference to my love for Abhishek, who I had only managed to speak to about twice: instances where all I could splutter out was a request for an autograph. But when it came to the less tongue-tied, non-celebrity crushes on classmates and friends, my eyesight began to make all the difference. The writer Nidhi Goyal. Photo credit: Nidhi Goyal Teenage crushes are, by and large, a cause of anxiety. You spend days pondering over what to wear so he notices you, how you can stop him from spotting that new splotch of acne on your face, and why oh why is he always talking to the girl with that L'Oreal-ad-type hair? For me, it was a wholly different ball game. When you can't see, all social interactions become more difficult. Imagine trying to distinguish between the one hundred different voices of your classmates. Of never fully knowing whether someone is smiling at you or not. Of not realising you are standing next to the boy of your dreams. Until I lost my eyesight, I never realised just how many aspects of romance begin with vision. You look at someone, you make eye contact, and - as the story goes - sparks begin to fly. I, however, needed to discover new ways to make sparks. As a teenager, it was so frustrating for me to listen to a guy with a nice voice and not know what his face looked like. Was he looking at me? How was he looking at me? I constantly had an added layer of anxiety when I was trying to navigate my attractions and crushes. As a sighted person (what people who are visually impaired call people who have their sight), for example, if you notice the object of your affection standing at one end of the hallway, you can always find an excuse to stroll past them. But I was missing out on all these small opportunities; small opportunities that eventually made a big difference. Thankfully, I had a group of fantastic girl friends who were determined to get my sparks up and sparking! They would make an effort to guide me in the direction of my latest crush (both with and without telling me beforehand), and then when we approached him they would tap me and say, 'Hey Nidhi, isn't that your friend?' By this time, most people knew I had almost completely lost my sight, and the guy would be compelled to acknowledge my presence. I always wondered how much of that recognition was desire and how much was simply obligation. * * * The idea of people with disabilities as asexual beings who have no need for love, sex or romantic relationships is ridiculous. However, it is one that has a stronghold in most people's minds. As I grew into my 20s, the absurd anecdotes of me trying to bump into my crushes in college hallways developed into the more serious recognition that because I was blind, I was very rarely seen as a potential candidate for a relationship, or even a date. I remember a male friend of mine from a very conservative, traditional family, who was explicitly forbidden from inviting any of his women friends home. He told me on the phone one day that his mother had cooked a delicious vegetarian dish, and in response, I joked that I would love to come
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Thought-provoking! Thank you! Lissy Verghese On 1/29/14, Shiv shivrah...@gmail.com wrote: Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romance-055837779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak. Clumsy first dates. Matrimonial sites. Studying for three degrees. Salsa classes. The coming-of-age story of a young woman who began losing her eyesight at 15. By Nidhi Goyal | Grist Media - 6 hours ago The wheelchair Kamasutra: Image courtesy Streetsie.com as seen on sexualityanddisability.orgLike most Indian urban teenage girls, my love life revolved around the stars of Bollywood. I had countless celebrity crushes growing up. The one I remember the most was Abhishek Bachchan, who I was 100 percent sure I was going to marry. When I was an undergraduate student working towards my B.Com Degree at Narsee Monjee College of Commerce and Economics in my hometown of Mumbai, it turned out that college was only five minutes away from Abhishek's house. Which meant, of course, that passing by his house became a morning ritual for me and another Bachchan-crazy friend of mine. In the way that some people go to temples, we went to Jalsa - abode of the Bachchans - and pestered the security personnel to tell us the timing of his coming and goings. To the dismay of the guards, we once even followed his car. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative eye disorder. By the time I was in college and my love for Abhishek was in full swing, so was the loss of my eyesight. As I dropped off cards on his birthday and wrote him love poems, my ability to see was steadily declining. Of course, this made little difference to my love for Abhishek, who I had only managed to speak to about twice: instances where all I could splutter out was a request for an autograph. But when it came to the less tongue-tied, non-celebrity crushes on classmates and friends, my eyesight began to make all the difference. The writer Nidhi Goyal. Photo credit: Nidhi Goyal Teenage crushes are, by and large, a cause of anxiety. You spend days pondering over what to wear so he notices you, how you can stop him from spotting that new splotch of acne on your face, and why oh why is he always talking to the girl with that L'Oreal-ad-type hair? For me, it was a wholly different ball game. When you can't see, all social interactions become more difficult. Imagine trying to distinguish between the one hundred different voices of your classmates. Of never fully knowing whether someone is smiling at you or not. Of not realising you are standing next to the boy of your dreams. Until I lost my eyesight, I never realised just how many aspects of romance begin with vision. You look at someone, you make eye contact, and - as the story goes - sparks begin to fly. I, however, needed to discover new ways to make sparks. As a teenager, it was so frustrating for me to listen to a guy with a nice voice and not know what his face looked like. Was he looking at me? How was he looking at me? I constantly had an added layer of anxiety when I was trying to navigate my attractions and crushes. As a sighted person (what people who are visually impaired call people who have their sight), for example, if you notice the object of your affection standing at one end of the hallway, you can always find an excuse to stroll past them. But I was missing out on all these small opportunities; small opportunities that eventually made a big difference. Thankfully, I had a group of fantastic girl friends who were determined to get my sparks up and sparking! They would make an effort to guide me in the direction of my latest crush (both with and without telling me beforehand), and then when we approached him they would tap me and say, 'Hey Nidhi, isn't that your friend?' By this time, most people knew I had almost completely lost my sight, and the guy would be compelled to acknowledge my presence. I always wondered how much of that recognition was desire and how much was simply obligation. * * * The idea of people with disabilities as asexual beings who have no need for love, sex or romantic relationships is ridiculous. However, it is one that has a stronghold in most people's minds. As I grew into my 20s, the absurd anecdotes of me trying to bump into my crushes in college hallways developed into the more serious recognition that because I was blind, I was very rarely seen as a potential candidate for a relationship, or even a date. I remember a male friend of mine from a very conservative, traditional family, who was explicitly forbidden from inviting any of his women friends home. He told me on the phone one day that his mother had cooked a delicious vegetarian dish, and in response, I joked that I would love to come over and try it. He replied with, Yes, sure. You are always
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Hi Friends, this is a wonderful article. I too wish I can connect with Nidhi so we can do some work together. Can anyone get my message to her? She must read my autobiography, The Other Senses. This book talks a great deal about relationship, romance and marriage and my amazing experiences! Anyone of you must get hold of my book and read it... especially visually impaired girls! You may just pick up on some great tips and tricks of getting married. I married twice and still at almost at 55 get to have chances where I have to ward off men trying to flirt with me! So there is something I do have that can helpl. With my vision impairment, I managed tyo date I think more than 10 men... and all non disabled at that! So there is something in that book, I have shared an honest story. So please can I too get Nidhi's contact details please? Preeti Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Himanshu Sahu Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:38 PM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? A tremendous piece of writing unravelling a variety of shades of emotions and experiences which die in the hearts of many differently ables, unspoken! This is what makes me always appriciate Nidhi. Her livelyness, sensitivity and perception of disability really brings a cheer while interacting with her... On 1/29/14, Shiv shivrah...@gmail.com wrote: Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romance-0558 37779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak. Clumsy first dates. Matrimonial sites. Studying for three degrees. Salsa classes. The coming-of-age story of a young woman who began losing her eyesight at 15. By Nidhi Goyal | Grist Media - 6 hours ago The wheelchair Kamasutra: Image courtesy Streetsie.com as seen on sexualityanddisability.orgLike most Indian urban teenage girls, my love life revolved around the stars of Bollywood. I had countless celebrity crushes growing up. The one I remember the most was Abhishek Bachchan, who I was 100 percent sure I was going to marry. When I was an undergraduate student working towards my B.Com Degree at Narsee Monjee College of Commerce and Economics in my hometown of Mumbai, it turned out that college was only five minutes away from Abhishek's house. Which meant, of course, that passing by his house became a morning ritual for me and another Bachchan-crazy friend of mine. In the way that some people go to temples, we went to Jalsa - abode of the Bachchans - and pestered the security personnel to tell us the timing of his coming and goings. To the dismay of the guards, we once even followed his car. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative eye disorder. By the time I was in college and my love for Abhishek was in full swing, so was the loss of my eyesight. As I dropped off cards on his birthday and wrote him love poems, my ability to see was steadily declining. Of course, this made little difference to my love for Abhishek, who I had only managed to speak to about twice: instances where all I could splutter out was a request for an autograph. But when it came to the less tongue-tied, non-celebrity crushes on classmates and friends, my eyesight began to make all the difference. The writer Nidhi Goyal. Photo credit: Nidhi Goyal Teenage crushes are, by and large, a cause of anxiety. You spend days pondering over what to wear so he notices you, how you can stop him from spotting that new splotch of acne on your face, and why oh why is he always talking to the girl with that L'Oreal-ad-type hair? For me, it was a wholly different ball game. When you can't see, all social interactions become more difficult. Imagine trying to distinguish between the one hundred different voices of your classmates. Of never fully knowing whether someone is smiling at you or not. Of not realising you are standing next to the boy of your dreams. Until I lost my eyesight, I never realised just how many aspects of romance begin with vision. You look at someone, you make eye contact, and - as the story goes - sparks begin to fly. I,
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
I worked with Point of View as a consultant for their Disability and Sexuality project - I can give mobile number of contact person of Point of View but I do not think I should give that number in this group without her permission. So write separately to me at sruti.d...@gmail.com - I will give names and other contact details. On Thu, Jan 30, 2014 at 10:11 AM, Preeti Monga preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in wrote: Hi Friends, this is a wonderful article. I too wish I can connect with Nidhi so we can do some work together. Can anyone get my message to her? She must read my autobiography, The Other Senses. This book talks a great deal about relationship, romance and marriage and my amazing experiences! Anyone of you must get hold of my book and read it... especially visually impaired girls! You may just pick up on some great tips and tricks of getting married. I married twice and still at almost at 55 get to have chances where I have to ward off men trying to flirt with me! So there is something I do have that can helpl. With my vision impairment, I managed tyo date I think more than 10 men... and all non disabled at that! So there is something in that book, I have shared an honest story. So please can I too get Nidhi's contact details please? Preeti Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training -Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting - Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Himanshu Sahu Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:38 PM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? A tremendous piece of writing unravelling a variety of shades of emotions and experiences which die in the hearts of many differently ables, unspoken! This is what makes me always appriciate Nidhi. Her livelyness, sensitivity and perception of disability really brings a cheer while interacting with her... On 1/29/14, Shiv shivrah...@gmail.com wrote: Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romance-0558 37779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak. Clumsy first dates. Matrimonial sites. Studying for three degrees. Salsa classes. The coming-of-age story of a young woman who began losing her eyesight at 15. By Nidhi Goyal | Grist Media - 6 hours ago The wheelchair Kamasutra: Image courtesy Streetsie.com as seen on sexualityanddisability.orgLike most Indian urban teenage girls, my love life revolved around the stars of Bollywood. I had countless celebrity crushes growing up. The one I remember the most was Abhishek Bachchan, who I was 100 percent sure I was going to marry. When I was an undergraduate student working towards my B.Com Degree at Narsee Monjee College of Commerce and Economics in my hometown of Mumbai, it turned out that college was only five minutes away from Abhishek's house. Which meant, of course, that passing by his house became a morning ritual for me and another Bachchan-crazy friend of mine. In the way that some people go to temples, we went to Jalsa - abode of the Bachchans - and pestered the security personnel to tell us the timing of his coming and goings. To the dismay of the guards, we once even followed his car. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative eye disorder. By the time I was in college and my love for Abhishek was in full swing, so was the loss of my eyesight. As I dropped off cards on his birthday and wrote him love poems, my ability to see was steadily declining. Of course, this made little difference to my love for Abhishek, who I had only managed to speak to about twice: instances where all I could splutter out was a request for an autograph. But when it came to the less tongue-tied, non-celebrity crushes on classmates and friends, my eyesight began to make all the difference. The writer Nidhi Goyal. Photo credit: Nidhi Goyal Teenage crushes are, by and large, a cause of anxiety. You spend days pondering over what to wear so he notices you, how you can stop him from spotting that new splotch of acne on your face, and why oh why is he always talking to the girl with that L'Oreal-ad-type hair? For me, it was a
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
wonderful article! really Thought provoking On 1/30/14, Sruti disAbility Rights Centre sruti.d...@gmail.com wrote: I worked with Point of View as a consultant for their Disability and Sexuality project - I can give mobile number of contact person of Point of View but I do not think I should give that number in this group without her permission. So write separately to me at sruti.d...@gmail.com - I will give names and other contact details. On Thu, Jan 30, 2014 at 10:11 AM, Preeti Monga preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in wrote: Hi Friends, this is a wonderful article. I too wish I can connect with Nidhi so we can do some work together. Can anyone get my message to her? She must read my autobiography, The Other Senses. This book talks a great deal about relationship, romance and marriage and my amazing experiences! Anyone of you must get hold of my book and read it... especially visually impaired girls! You may just pick up on some great tips and tricks of getting married. I married twice and still at almost at 55 get to have chances where I have to ward off men trying to flirt with me! So there is something I do have that can helpl. With my vision impairment, I managed tyo date I think more than 10 men... and all non disabled at that! So there is something in that book, I have shared an honest story. So please can I too get Nidhi's contact details please? Preeti Preeti Monga Director Mobile: +91 9871701646 Landline: 011 22781446 E-mail: preeti.mo...@silver-linings.co.in Website: www.silver-linings.co.in ; www.silver-linings.org Our Services: Executive Search - Specializing in Head Hunting. Training -Motivation; Stress Management; Soft Skill; Behavioral. Gifting - Corporate ; Promotional; Events. End to end CSR Advisory; including demystifying workshops and counseling. Printing Solutions, Incentive Travel and Marketing Data Mining / Refining.. We assure high quality service marked with excellence and complete customer centricity, forming Synergies as we go along. -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Himanshu Sahu Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 8:38 PM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? A tremendous piece of writing unravelling a variety of shades of emotions and experiences which die in the hearts of many differently ables, unspoken! This is what makes me always appriciate Nidhi. Her livelyness, sensitivity and perception of disability really brings a cheer while interacting with her... On 1/29/14, Shiv shivrah...@gmail.com wrote: Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romance-0558 37779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak. Clumsy first dates. Matrimonial sites. Studying for three degrees. Salsa classes. The coming-of-age story of a young woman who began losing her eyesight at 15. By Nidhi Goyal | Grist Media - 6 hours ago The wheelchair Kamasutra: Image courtesy Streetsie.com as seen on sexualityanddisability.orgLike most Indian urban teenage girls, my love life revolved around the stars of Bollywood. I had countless celebrity crushes growing up. The one I remember the most was Abhishek Bachchan, who I was 100 percent sure I was going to marry. When I was an undergraduate student working towards my B.Com Degree at Narsee Monjee College of Commerce and Economics in my hometown of Mumbai, it turned out that college was only five minutes away from Abhishek's house. Which meant, of course, that passing by his house became a morning ritual for me and another Bachchan-crazy friend of mine. In the way that some people go to temples, we went to Jalsa - abode of the Bachchans - and pestered the security personnel to tell us the timing of his coming and goings. To the dismay of the guards, we once even followed his car. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative eye disorder. By the time I was in college and my love for Abhishek was in full swing, so was the loss of my eyesight. As I dropped off cards on his birthday and wrote him love poems, my ability to see was steadily declining. Of course, this made little difference to my love for Abhishek, who I had only managed to speak to about twice: instances where all I could splutter out was a request for an autograph. But when it came to the less tongue-tied, non-celebrity crushes on classmates and friends, my eyesight began to make all the difference. The writer Nidhi Goyal. Photo credit: Nidhi Goyal Teenage crushes are, by and large, a cause of anxiety. You spend days pondering over what to wear so he notices you, how you can stop him from
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Hi friends, I would like to share my opinion about the article without hurting the feelings of anybody .it is just what I feel: in humans the relationships bloom between the equal persons .this is quite natural.the equality is measured by various parameters like appearance and personality,,socioeconomic factors,,family background and many more.this is the way our brain works irrespective of being abled or disabled.even in animals some factors determine the potentiality of one to find the mating partners.isn't it quite natural and not learntbehaviour? I never had a crush on any differently abled man when I was sighted so I have no right to take this social behaviour as prejudice,. Moreover in the depths of our heart we ourselves feel a abled bodied person more desirable. We should not sympathize ourselves and live in the ground realities.regards sucharu -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Himanshu Sahu Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 7:08 AM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? A tremendous piece of writing unravelling a variety of shades of emotions and experiences which die in the hearts of many differently ables, unspoken! This is what makes me always appriciate Nidhi. Her livelyness, sensitivity and perception of disability really brings a cheer while interacting with her... On 1/29/14, Shiv shivrah...@gmail.com wrote: Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romanc e-055837779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak. Clumsy first dates. Matrimonial sites. Studying for three degrees. Salsa classes. The coming-of-age story of a young woman who began losing her eyesight at 15. By Nidhi Goyal | Grist Media - 6 hours ago The wheelchair Kamasutra: Image courtesy Streetsie.com as seen on sexualityanddisability.orgLike most Indian urban teenage girls, my love life revolved around the stars of Bollywood. I had countless celebrity crushes growing up. The one I remember the most was Abhishek Bachchan, who I was 100 percent sure I was going to marry. When I was an undergraduate student working towards my B.Com Degree at Narsee Monjee College of Commerce and Economics in my hometown of Mumbai, it turned out that college was only five minutes away from Abhishek's house. Which meant, of course, that passing by his house became a morning ritual for me and another Bachchan-crazy friend of mine. In the way that some people go to temples, we went to Jalsa - abode of the Bachchans - and pestered the security personnel to tell us the timing of his coming and goings. To the dismay of the guards, we once even followed his car. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative eye disorder. By the time I was in college and my love for Abhishek was in full swing, so was the loss of my eyesight. As I dropped off cards on his birthday and wrote him love poems, my ability to see was steadily declining. Of course, this made little difference to my love for Abhishek, who I had only managed to speak to about twice: instances where all I could splutter out was a request for an autograph. But when it came to the less tongue-tied, non-celebrity crushes on classmates and friends, my eyesight began to make all the difference. The writer Nidhi Goyal. Photo credit: Nidhi Goyal Teenage crushes are, by and large, a cause of anxiety. You spend days pondering over what to wear so he notices you, how you can stop him from spotting that new splotch of acne on your face, and why oh why is he always talking to the girl with that L'Oreal-ad-type hair? For me, it was a wholly different ball game. When you can't see, all social interactions become more difficult. Imagine trying to distinguish between the one hundred different voices of your classmates. Of never fully knowing whether someone is smiling at you or not. Of not realising you are standing next to the boy of your dreams. Until I lost my eyesight, I never realised just how many aspects of romance begin with vision. You look at someone, you make eye contact, and - as the story goes - sparks begin to fly. I, however, needed to discover new ways to make sparks. As a teenager, it was so frustrating for me to listen to a guy with a nice voice and not know what his face looked like. Was he looking at me? How was he looking at me? I constantly had an added layer of anxiety when I was trying to navigate my attractions and crushes. As a sighted person (what people who are visually impaired call people who have their sight), for example, if you notice the object of your affection standing at one end of the hallway, you can always find an excuse to stroll past
Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance?
Very thought provoking article. Though I strongly believe that we can't rather shouldn't force able bodied person to accept us. When I was sighted I never fancied a blind boy. Now how can I demand from sighted person to accept me? Love and marriage happens in equal group. Romance between disable and non disable is only poetic idea in my view. How many blind parents are there on the list? Do they allow their sighted son to marry a disable girl? The answer is obviously no. By reading many mails on different lists i have learnt that if you are earning well then any able bodied girl or boy will accept you as a security. On 1/30/14, Sucharu Gupta sucharugupta1...@gmail.com wrote: Hi friends, I would like to share my opinion about the article without hurting the feelings of anybody .it is just what I feel: in humans the relationships bloom between the equal persons .this is quite natural.the equality is measured by various parameters like appearance and personality,,socioeconomic factors,,family background and many more.this is the way our brain works irrespective of being abled or disabled.even in animals some factors determine the potentiality of one to find the mating partners.isn't it quite natural and not learntbehaviour? I never had a crush on any differently abled man when I was sighted so I have no right to take this social behaviour as prejudice,. Moreover in the depths of our heart we ourselves feel a abled bodied person more desirable. We should not sympathize ourselves and live in the ground realities.regards sucharu -Original Message- From: AccessIndia [mailto:accessindia-boun...@accessindia.org.in] On Behalf Of Himanshu Sahu Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2014 7:08 AM To: AccessIndia: a list for discussing accessibility and issues concerning the disabled. Subject: Re: [AI] A Must Read: Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? A tremendous piece of writing unravelling a variety of shades of emotions and experiences which die in the hearts of many differently ables, unspoken! This is what makes me always appriciate Nidhi. Her livelyness, sensitivity and perception of disability really brings a cheer while interacting with her... On 1/29/14, Shiv shivrah...@gmail.com wrote: Here is the full article: Source: http://in.news.yahoo.com/why-should-disability-spell-the-end-of-romanc e-055837779.html# Why Should Disability Spell the End of Romance? Flirting. Heartbreak. Clumsy first dates. Matrimonial sites. Studying for three degrees. Salsa classes. The coming-of-age story of a young woman who began losing her eyesight at 15. By Nidhi Goyal | Grist Media - 6 hours ago The wheelchair Kamasutra: Image courtesy Streetsie.com as seen on sexualityanddisability.orgLike most Indian urban teenage girls, my love life revolved around the stars of Bollywood. I had countless celebrity crushes growing up. The one I remember the most was Abhishek Bachchan, who I was 100 percent sure I was going to marry. When I was an undergraduate student working towards my B.Com Degree at Narsee Monjee College of Commerce and Economics in my hometown of Mumbai, it turned out that college was only five minutes away from Abhishek's house. Which meant, of course, that passing by his house became a morning ritual for me and another Bachchan-crazy friend of mine. In the way that some people go to temples, we went to Jalsa - abode of the Bachchans - and pestered the security personnel to tell us the timing of his coming and goings. To the dismay of the guards, we once even followed his car. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, a degenerative eye disorder. By the time I was in college and my love for Abhishek was in full swing, so was the loss of my eyesight. As I dropped off cards on his birthday and wrote him love poems, my ability to see was steadily declining. Of course, this made little difference to my love for Abhishek, who I had only managed to speak to about twice: instances where all I could splutter out was a request for an autograph. But when it came to the less tongue-tied, non-celebrity crushes on classmates and friends, my eyesight began to make all the difference. The writer Nidhi Goyal. Photo credit: Nidhi Goyal Teenage crushes are, by and large, a cause of anxiety. You spend days pondering over what to wear so he notices you, how you can stop him from spotting that new splotch of acne on your face, and why oh why is he always talking to the girl with that L'Oreal-ad-type hair? For me, it was a wholly different ball game. When you can't see, all social interactions become more difficult. Imagine trying to distinguish between the one hundred different voices of your classmates. Of never fully knowing whether someone is smiling at you or not. Of not realising you are standing next to the boy of your dreams. Until I lost my eyesight, I never realised just how many aspects of romance
