Folks,
Salon is running a great piece by the inimitable Garrison Kiellor on
the ridiculous tact that the Republican party is taking in its
attempt to unseat Nancy Pelosi: that she is from San Francisco, where
there are known g-a-y people! Horrors!
Here's the full text of the story, in case you'd rather not be
subjected to their advertising... (I know that not all people think
advertising is evil. For them, here's the link, too):
http://www.salon.com/opinion/feature/2006/06/07/keillor/
San Franciscophobia
We're stuck with a terrible war and a worse president, and all
the GOP can do is scream, Pelosi and her Nancy boys are
coming? This is pathetic.
By Garrison Keillor
June 7, 2006 | People who live in mud huts should not throw mud,
especially if it comes from their own roofs. As Scripture says, don't
point to the speck in your neighbor's eye when you have a piece of
kindling in your own.
I see by the papers that the Republicans want to make an issue of
Nancy Pelosi in the congressional races this fall: Would you want a
San Francisco woman to be Speaker of the House? Will the podium be
repainted in lavender stripes with a disco ball overhead? Will she be
borne into the chamber by male dancers with glistening torsos and
wearing pink tutus? After all, in the unique worldview of old
elephants, San Francisco is a code word for g-a-y, and after
assembling a record of government lies, incompetence and disaster,
the party in power hopes that the fear of g-a-y-s will pull it
through in November.
Running against Nancy Pelosi, a woman who comes from a district where
there are known gay persons, is a nice trick, but it does draw
attention to the large shambling galoot who is speaker now, Tom
DeLay's enabler for years, a man who, judging by his public
mutterances, is about as smart as most high school wrestling coaches.
For the past year, Dennis Hastert has been two heartbeats from the
presidency. He is a man who seems content just to have a car and
driver and three square meals a day. He has no apparent vision beyond
the urge to hang onto power. He has succeeded in turning Congress
into a branch of the executive branch. If Mr. Hastert becomes the
poster boy for the Republican Party, this does not speak well for
them as the Party of Ideas.
People who want to take a swing at San Francisco should think twice.
Yes, the Irish coffee at Fisherman's Wharf is overpriced, and the bus
tour of Haight-Ashbury is disappointing (where are the hippies?), but
the Bay Area is the cradle of the computer and software industry,
which continues to create jobs for our children. The iPod was not
developed by Baptists in Waco, Texas. There may be a reason for this.
Creative people thrive in a climate of openness and tolerance, since
some great ideas start out sounding ridiculous. Creativity is a key
to economic progress. Authoritarianism is stifling. I don't believe
that Mr. Hewlett and Mr. Packard were gay, but what's important is:
In San Francisco, it doesn't matter so much. When the cultural
Sturmbannfuhrers try to marshal everyone into straight lines, it has
consequences for the economic future of this country.
Meanwhile, the Current Occupant goes on impersonating a president.
Somewhere in the quiet leafy recesses of the Bush family, somebody is
thinking, Wrong son. Should've tried the smart one. This one's eyes
don't quite focus. Five years in office and he doesn't have a grip on
it yet. You stand him up next to Tony Blair at a press conference and
the comparison is not kind to Our Guy. Historians are starting to
place him at or near the bottom of the list. And one of the basic
assumptions of American culture is falling apart: the competence of
Republicans.
You might not have always liked Republicans, but you could count on
them to manage the bank. They might be lousy tippers, act snooty,
talk through their noses, wear spats and splash mud on you as they
race their Pierce-Arrows through the village, but you knew they could
do the math. To see them produce a ninny and then follow him loyally
into the swamp for five years is disconcerting, like seeing the
Rolling Stones take up lite jazz. So here we are at an uneasy point
in our history, mired in a costly war and getting nowhere, a supine
Congress granting absolute power to a president who seems to get
smaller and dimmer, and the best the Republicans can offer is San
Franciscophobia? This is beyond pitiful. This is violently stupid.
It is painful to look at your father and realize the old man should
not be allowed to manage his own money anymore. This is the discovery
the country has made about the party in power. They are inept. The
checkbook needs to be taken away. They will rant, they will screech,
they will wave their canes at you and call you all sorts of names,
but you have to do what you have to do.
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